There aren’t enough home decor magazine features for REAL moms. Everything’s all matchy-matchy and only kids from the Sears catalogue appear to live there (peacefully, with no signs of struggle or mess.) It’s time to get real about decor as a mom and what that actually looks like.
If diamonds are a girl’s best friend, then area rugs are a mom’s best friend. They are great for covering up stains in between carpet cleanings when you have company. They can be strewn haphazardly and called ‘Boho Chic’. They should have elaborate patterns to hide more stains and/or be a colour that disguises them. Magic carpet, indeed.
Why shell out for a Picasso when your kid will make seriously misunderstood scribblings the cost of a 24 pack of Crayola? Abstract art will dominate your display art for the next number of years, so it’s best to just embrace it and make it work with what you have.
A big, comfy couch can hide a multitude of… things. Seriously, your couch is just going to get full of kid paraphernalia, so make sure it’s not white or easy to tear or stain. Bonus points for distracting patterns and/or if it’s a fabric that wipes easily. Consider something that you can throw a slip cover over on particularly bad days.
Pick curtains knowing that one day your kid is going to say “BUT IT’S NOT DARK OUT YET” at bedtime. Select something easy enough to fake darkness with and block out the light that is apparently tacit permission for total mutiny. If the panels are easy to launder, all the better.
Accept the universal rule of eating with kids; “If there is no napkin, they will use a sleeve. But they might use a sleeve anyways because they are kids.” If all else fails, embrace reality and put down paper on the table that they can draw on like you’re eating in one of those places where they don’t pretend to be fancy.
Mirror Mirror on the Wall
Keep a mirror hanging by the door so you can check for errant stains, baby spit-up, and that your shirt isn’t on inside out (again) before you leave the house. This is particularly important if you wear a lot of tank tops with built in bras (not that I’m speaking from personal experience or anything, except for maybe that one time at Starbucks.)
So there you have it, the definitive guide to home decor for the lazy (or at least really realistic) mom. Grab a magic carpet and a big comfy couch, but also make sure to check yo’self before you wreck yo’self.