I am going to a University reunion tomorrow night of a number of years I find baffling. Five years ago we had one and I was a married brunette. Things have changed a little on both fronts.
When you are married anything goes because you are with whatshisface- when you are divorced you must not look like you have been hit by a bus. Even if you have. You must wear an expression of ecstasy on your face at all times. Otherwise people will say “jesus what happened to her” or “no wonder she is alone”. We must defy gravity, accounting and reality.
It would be nifty to lose ten years between now and then – so I am looking for advice.
Here’s what I have come up with-
I buy shooters for everyone so I look better than I really do.
I wear black from head to toe. It is so slimming although someone might mistake me for a mime artist.
I find the electrical box and kill the lights.
I get a face lift and body lift between now and then.
Any thoughts? I am open to pretty much anything with the exception of my mother’s advice to use hemorroid cream to reduce under the eye bags (whatever happened to ‘you look beautiful to me, dear” ? and how the heck did someone come up with this??? Apparently it is all the rage with models. And we know how bright they are.
What great ideas do you have for me?
jacko-do you have any idea how much you were missed tonight???You usually come out for these events. xoxoxo me
Nance, you are way more beautiful than everyone else! It’s the married mom’s who should be worrying about the wrinkles…..Have a great time. And since when do we have a university reunion, or anything to do with university for that matter, and not do shooters? Very funny post 🙂
Nancy you’re so beautiful, polished and graceful. After reading this post I can safely add funny too! Have fun at your reunion. Can’t wait to read all about it.
You look mahhhvelous dahling!
I do like the shooter plan though, just for the fun of it.
When I see your face
There’s not a thing that I would change
Cause you’re amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you’re amazing
Just the way you are
http://www.directlyrics.com/bruno-mars-just-the-way-you-are-lyrics.html
Nancy – you are so gorgeous and happy and it shines through! All the other ladies are going to be looking at you all jealous-like thinking, “how’d she get so lucky?” Go, be yourself and enjoy!
For reals? That Preparation H thing works… don’t ask me how I know. And if you’re *serious* about facial effects, get thee to a MAC counter and ask for line-filler stuff. I swear to god, you’ll look like a baby, especially in low light. But, you TOTALLY look beautiful to me, dear…”
Don’t forget to smile a lot – have a blast, Sugar!!