My kids like to watch movies from when they were little
So last week the 3 of us watched some really old ones.
It was fun and shocking and tender and embarrassing.
It was weird to see us as again as a family of four. It was tender to see some married moments that were good. It was embarrassing to see how rigid I was as a parent – and thankfully I have loosened up (quite) a bit.
One particular scene had us celebrating youngest daughter’s 1st b day. Her older sister had not finished her dinner and I wouldn’t let her have birthday cake.
She was having a full on tantrum
You could see the whole extended family quietly trying to shake me of my rigid doctrine of no dinner =no dessert. I stayed eerily calm and did not engage.
I know I felt parenting then was a pay now or pay (dearly) later scenario. I felt if I caved easily my kids would take over and anarchy would ensue.
I felt it was a slippery slope from refusing to eat your broccoli to glue sniffing and stealing hubcaps.
So as all my family cringed and I was steadfast and it likely somewhat derailed the party, my kids have always known what I expect from them, who they could look to for guidance and love. Even if I was a bit of a dictator.
This movie made me think. I am glad I have grown up with them and changed with them. I am glad they have taught me so much, and I am thankful that we made it to this point the way we have.
What about you, are you getting more rigid or loosening up as your children grow?
you are so wise- I think it is all that champagne in the afternoon. Don’t you find that keeps the parenting as loose as a goose? Some of my best parenting has been done over the years from wine o’clock on….
I think it’s natural to loosen up over time… but when the boundaries are steadfast, eventually they stop pushing against them (one hopes!) which makes it easier to BE easier.
You have some lovely daughters, lady. That’s no accident!