A little past 7 this morning, I watched my children walk away from my car with 3 friends in a backdrop of the downtown core and the rising sun. They are all so beautiful with their long hair and long legs and sweet dispositions.
(For a good cry listen to the music at the bottom while you read. Neat trick)
I can’t imagine my daily life without them in it.
I have been a mother for over 16 years. Of all the things I have ever wanted, I wanted this most. When they were little some afternoons went on forever and people would whisper “Enjoy them now, they are only little a short while.” I could not grasp this as each moment was intense and, in a way, long. Their littleness seem to go on forever.
But I have loved every single stage. The little, the middle and the big. They are my babies. I like the chaos and excitement they bring. I feed off of their imaginations, their ability to reinvent themselves because their habits are not so hardwired. I love the way they overcome obstacles, conquer fears and try scary things. I follow their example in my own life so that when we have “bragging moments” at the dinner table, I have something to brag about too. What was my challenge? How did I handle it? I want them to be as proud of me as I am of them.
We are raising each other
So now that the end is indeed in sight- how will my life be without you?
I cannot see a single thing. It scares me a little. Fortunately this is the busiest time of my life so I don’t have much time to think about it. But honestly in the back of mind I have no idea. I just keep working at things to make sure there is enough of every good and wonderful thing in my corner to sustain me and continue to thrill me.
As they are a walking away from me this morning I can hear this song on the radio. Honestly, the people choreographing my life have a way with poetry. Always brilliant to have a good cry.
(I might recommend closing your eyes as the Vid is a little lacking, to say the least)
I have been afraid of changing because I have built my life around you.