I thought I had seen some dumb things on the internet. I am a regular surfer and seem to be sucked into vortexes of idiocy on a regular basis. But then I came across Nicole Arbour’s video and realized I have only just scratched the surface.
I will spare you from watching the painful video, and give you a summary (you can thank me in the comments. Seriously, just TRY watching 20 seconds.) The jist of Arbour’s argument is this: ADHD doesn’t exist, kids only experience symptoms of ADHD because they eat Fruit Loops and McDonald’s, treating children who have ADHD with medication is child abuse and turns them into zombies, and something about a dragon at HMV. At least, I think that is what her argument was. There was also talk of sticking fingers in drinks, getting tired of sleeping with the same person over and over, and Usain Bolt. I think there was probably a full sentence in there somewhere, but I didn’t catch it.
It is abundantly clear that Arbour, of “Dear Fat People” fame, makes videos like this in order to prey on controversy and go viral (her page cover photo even boasts of how many views she has received,) and like most ridiculous attention seekers, she should probably just be ignored. Unfortunately, the stigma surrounding treating ADHD with medication is alive and well. Videos like this simply amplify it.
I say without shame that ADHD medication has made my family better. My nine-year-old was diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago, after several years of suspecting as much, and after careful consideration and appointments with a specialist, we decided to put him on medication.
It was scary. And I felt guilty. Which is funny, because I felt no guilt when I gave him antibiotics for an ear infection or puffers for his asthma. But suddenly, treating this particular medical need was “drugging my child.” But what scared me more than the medication was the increased risk of addiction and suicide in teens with untreated ADHD. That statistic absolutely terrifies me, and so treatment became necessary before we reached that point.
I expected some improvement with the pills, but the difference was shocking. Once we figured out the right dosage, my child—who was not able to focus, who was constantly disruptive in school and at home, and who was becoming keenly aware that he was different from other kids—morphed into a child who loved school, who was working and learning at his potential, and who had the confidence boost to match.
Our relationship with him changed too. We spent less time trying to manage behaviour, and more time talking with our amazing kid. Making eye contact with his teachers no longer sent a shiver down my spine in anticipation of today’s laundry list of grievances. Instead, encouraging notes and completed assignments were coming home.
Here is the truth about what medication does for children with ADHD. It does not turn them into zombies, it does not erase their personalities—it lets them be themselves. The medication works like a dial on a radio, adjusting until the static is gone and all you hear is the beautiful music. ADHD medication has reminded us who our son really, truly is. It gave him back.
More importantly, he feels it too. We have reiterated many times that what we care about most is how he feels about this medication. Two days into starting, he turned to me and said, “Mom, I feel good.” Being able to focus clearly enables him to do things he truly enjoys, like drawing, reading, and learning to play the piano. It clears the way for the best in him to shine through.
So, while I will not be giving Nicole Arbour any more attention for her offensive, idiotic, attention-seeking stream of consciousness, I am going to address those who judge people for “drugging” their kids, and particularly those who think their children would benefit from medication but are afraid of the stigma.
You do what is best for your child every day. When they need comforting, you hug them. When they have made poor choices, you redirect them. When they are sick, you help them heal. ADHD is no different. There are certainly ways to treat ADHD without medication, and if those work, that is great. But if it comes to the point that you and your doctor believe medication will help, but you are hesitant because of internet trolls like Arbour and those who are like-minded, well, to hell with them. You do what is best for your child and your family. And anyone who has something to say about that can bugger off. Or perhaps they can set up a camera and look like a raving moron, ranting for likes. That seems to be working well for Nicole Arbour.
Totally not against ADHS/ADD medication for kids. My 29 yr old daughter has been on meds for years, helped in school and in her adult life.. till pregnant and had to stop.. Yes it does help them.. what I am against is when medication is given that caused more problems than help to a child that is already struggling with behavior problems. My grand daughter was titrated up and up to 30 mg and it caused her to totally be off the wall with anxiety. Her caregiver did not pay attention and ask for a Dr appointment to check what was happening as she assumed this was just part of my grand daughters high behavioral problems. Totally not at all. We asked caregiver to make dr app to go get help and take her off the meds. Totally so painfully to see a 9 yr old struggle in a negative spiral loop thanks to ADD meds that were at incorrect dosage.
Meds have to be very carefully trialed and titrated to not cause more problems in the long run.
I absolutely agree. Like any medication, treatment needs to be tailored to the person, and sometimes a medication’s effects outweigh the benefit. This is true for any treatment for any condition.
I hope your granddaughter found the right help, whether that was through medication or not.
What a dangerous lady – how ill informed she is. Yes it’s amphetamine and in the wrong diagnosis it resembles speed, in the right diagnosis, the child thrives. For her future children’s sake, I hope they are the neat little package, in reality please don’t have children because your ignorance will destroy them. The go and find Jenny McCartney and they can cure Autism together.
I can completely relate to your experience, and I too felt “overly cautious” about medicating my son. It took until grade 3 to be diagnosed ADD, from day one taking his medication ………….. clarity. Simple Clarity.
I beat myself up for years prior about “drugging” my child, made him participate (unwilling most of the time) though specified diet, counseling and what seemed like endless behavior discussions, then, just like that, one day on medication, Clarity.
🙂
The rant must be by someone who has never seen a child with ADHD. Nicole is so disrespectful of parents who have agonized over their children and have some what they think is best for their kids. They are who I applaud – not you Nicole. You née to spend your energy on a
battle where you know what you are talking about. Your words are so hurtful at best and dangerous at worst. Rant somewhere else.
That is largely our experience with the right medication. We had a journey to the right medication, which involved a negative experience with the wrong medication. But we now have a wonderful devoted medical team. And we have a beautiful smart boy who is ENJOYING life. Can’t ask for for than that. He is flying.
ok …. so I went and watched the whole video…… and 1 her suggesting to take your kids medication is wrong…. our doctor told us that if anyone that isn’t Adhd will not have the same effect that an Adhd person will have…. it slows that brain down of an adhd person….. and for someone that isn’t it will speed your brain up…. or at least thats what I’ve been told. Wow…. her video is something else… and not in a good way…. the sad thing is someone will actually believe her….
I have heard the same. You should never take someone else’s medication anyway.
Thank you. I totally agree. What little I watched of the video…. OMG who would watch her! She can shove her facts! I’m guessing she doesn’t have kids ? Being a mother of 2 girls ( who are harder to diagnose ) …. 1 ADHD and the other just starting to go threw the process to see what she needs for help with school …. possibly ADHD and/or Dyslexia …. I know first hand that my daughter struggles and I mean STRUGGLES when she’s not on her medication…. my suggestion to any parent dealing with the struggle of medication or not…. it is your child, you can choose to try it and if your not comfortable…. stop, work with your doctors…. (DO NOT use generic…. we did not have a good result with it) ….. the one thing we did not do was force our daughter to take the meds, we did talk to her about it and if she wasn’t ready for an increase when it was necessary we didn’t till we ALL knew it was time… we felt that if we forced her then she would hide it …. ok I’m done rambling 🙂
Brilliant! Spot on Heather spot on.
I to am ADHD and I was medicated in my early years but decided on my own to stop in high school years and I really regret that decision. I could have done so much more in my life.
Thank you for being a voice!