If you ever feel like you are insignificant, try to accomplish something on a deadline that is important to only you. It doesn’t really matter what it is. It might be something as innocuous as filling an ice cube tray, as mundane as returning a phone call, or as emotionally cathartic as relaying a heartwarming tale about your adorable child to meet important editorial deadlines.
It is the desire to do something specific that makes you incredibly fascinating. It’s enough to make a tired mommy wish she had an office door that closes, if only to ward off the intrusions for a moment’s peace. Maybe even an office door with a name plate. Now that would be FANCY.
When I have things to do, my child is strongly magnetized to my maternal presence. There will be crucial, time sensitive and life altering Minecraft related wisdom to be imparted. Snuggles will be vital to his survival. “Mom” will be expanded by at least a dozen extra syllables with every attempt to catch my fleeting attention. The puppy dog eyes will be trotted out. It’s a beautiful mess of annoying and heartwarming, much like my schedule.
Deep down I know that one day, I will long for the days when my son needed me. I will fantasize about the days he relied on me, wanted my attention, needed my approval and wondered about my opinion on every little thing. I will miss his angelic voice saying “Mommy!” I will feel sad about the way he’s outgrown holding my hand, hugging me in public and pine for his general hero worship.
When I think about wanting to close the door on distractions, I remember all the ways my child has opened the door to my heart since he came into my life. His loving intrusions invaded my soul with joy. What feels like a disruption right now is my darling child, fully invested in making me feel significant. I’m delighted in that realization.
Looking in his eyes, I remember that all of those things I planned can wait. The world can wait on ice cubes, phone messages and telling stories until after bedtime. His childhood is on a deadline too, and I could use some snuggles with my Minecraft trivia. After all, tonight I’m fascinating and my name has 12 extra syllables (which is going to be hard to fit on my office door name plate of FANCY).