I have a love/hate relationship with makeup. Actually I don’t. I have a hate relationship with it. It derives itself from two main places:
A. Hallowe’en. I don’t like Hallowe’en. I loathe dressing up and I don’t really like a candy so it was sort of a lost ‘holiday’ for me. I especially didn’t like lipstick being used on me in any capacity. Not as cute red clown cheeks or as a little red bunny nose. The smell, the consistency. To this day – I can’t do it. I will forever be a Blistex covered in lip gloss girl.
B. My grandmother. For the last 14 years or so of her life, my grandmother couldn’t see a whole lot. This was a bit of an issue since she insisted on wearing liquid makeup, lipstick and nail polish until the day she died at 103 years old. I spent many days scrubbing mounds of liquid makeup from the phone, from the walls, from the tv converter. The lipstick? Well. There were days that she gave Ronald McDonald a run for his money. The nail polish? If I didn’t get in to give her her weekly mani/pedi in time, she took it upon herself to do her nails. Have you seen a 100 year old person’s nails? They look like corduroy and have the thickness of an onion skin. Try removing old nail polish from those nails AND the skin up to her knuckle because that’s about where it would get to. Again, just so many sensory issues related to makeup stemmed from these years. The smell of the makeup and the texture of that lipstick.
I’ve always been happy that I thought I had great skin and could just avoid makeup for the rest of my life. Last year, I had a facial with my friend KD in NY. The woman said, ‘Wow your skin.’ I said ‘I know right? Pretty good for a 40 year-old?’ That was not exactly what she had to say. She pointed out all my broken capillaries and the redness in my cheeks and nose. She wasn’t lying. KD confirmed that she wasn’t just trying to sell me product (I like my friends to be honest!).
So, continuing on my little self-improvement kick that started this summer, I decided it was time for me to learn how to put on makeup properly and become a grown-up. I booked something at a known makeup counter but my friend warned me that I’d come out looking like Ru-Paul. We were wandering around a new Shoppers a few weeks ago and it was quiet, and clean, and I booked an appointment there instead.
Last Friday, I spent an hour and a half and a crap load of money getting all made over. I prepared! I brought in pictures from magazines to reiterate NATURAL. And, gulp, I really like it!** I was shocked! Look, I’m not all of a sudden Heidi Klum – I just mean I’m shocked at how it doesn’t feel like clown makeup. My red crap is hidden but I don’t look like my granny. And maybe after 43 years, my girlie side is coming out because it’s kind of fun! Eye shadow? Who knew!!!
At some point soon I will stop recognizing myself. I cook? I decorate my house for holidays? I exercise fairly regularly? I wear makeup? Who the hell is this girl?
What about you? Am I the only one that took so long to use a little colour??
**I did NOT however cave to the lipstick. She put some on and I immediately was like, ‘Yeah, no. I’ve got that.’ Those Hallowe’en shakes are hard to kick!!