Recently on the way home from the school drop-off, a mummy-friend of mine gave me a once over and said, “How do you manage to look so pulled together in the mornings?”
I nearly laughed in her face.
I tried my best not to give her a look that said Are you blind? and instead answered, “Well, to start with, I’m wearing exactly what I wore yesterday, which was on the floor in front of my bed when I woke up…”
Listen. The school day starts early for my kids. The bell rings at 7:55 AM, and though we’re only a few blocks from the school grounds, getting there on time, with all the necessary gear AND looking half-way decent is no small feat. Especially since I don’t actually get out of bed until about 6:50 AM some days.
The secret? A fitted jacket and a cute hat.
I have a supremely short haircut (as in, buzzed off with clippers) so some kind of hat makes me feel instantly pulled together. And jaunty. A structured jacket (worn right over the tank top I slept in, thanks) and whichever pair of jeans is closest to me, plus boots or sneakers and some oversized rockstar sunglasses… done. Of course I draw my eyebrows in while I’m brushing my teeth, and chances are I’ve still got enough makeup on from yesterday (because I’m all lazy like that) to make me look semi-normal in front of the other mums.
And I cannot stress enough how a little bit of makeup goes a long, long way, baby.
Oh, and refined white sugar taken by coffee or cans of coke or whatever? Pure magic and totally necessary. If you take in enough in one day, I swear, it will make your eyes look crazy brighter!
The daily life of every mother, whether you work in or outside of your home, can be crazy-making. Seriously. The list of tasks is never-ending, requiring schlepping over here for this one and then aaaaall the way over there for that one, and at every juncture, there’s often a mouthload of sassy lip from The Littles to be endured. Thankless, I tell you. The dinner won’t cook itself, and who is going to fold these clothes? Did I send a cheque for that thing…? Whaddaya mean you lost a shoe at school?! And there’s the newspaper, still perfectly creased as it has been unread today. Again. If it weren’t for sites like D-listed.com, I swear, I’d be completely uninformed. *snickers*
Trying to stay on top of it all? Impossible. The mutherload is just too heavy. Perhaps ’tis better to try to get out from under.
Which brings me back to donning a jacket and a hat – I’m being all Mad Men about things – it’s a trick. Indeed, you can go braless (even shirtless!) under something fitted, and no one will be any the wiser. And pull your hat down lowish on one eye – that’s how one wears a hat, you know. They’ll be left thinking Maybe she’s born with it… maybe it’s Maybelline!! (In my case, it’s totally MAC makeup. Praises to the good people of MAC, whose excellent product always ensures I look like a million dollars, even when I only feel like about a buck twenty-five.) See?
I realize this is a personal-style thing, but the payoff is easy and fast. You will look awesome. Leave the sweatpants and trainers for the gym… you can totally wear your pajamas under these clothes. Makes it far easier to go back to bed in the mornings anyway.
Happy fall, y’all. Go hat shopping!