Parenting isn’t always graceful. At some point, parents stop being polite and start getting real. However, instead of having their lives taped, they take to Twitter to air out their feelings about their tiny little permanent roommates.
Here are some funny parenting tweets from dads, getting real about the experience of parenthood.
On the difficulties of parenting:
The hardest part about being a parent is pretending like you know what you’re doing.
— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) January 30, 2015
On the validity of the World’s Best Dad mug:
“YOU ARE THE WORST DAD IN THE WORLD!” screamed my daughter, contradicting the mug she once got me and now I don’t know what to believe.
— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) August 31, 2014
Turns out, men can forget basically everything:
Booking plane tickets for a family trip is a fun little test to see if I still remember all my kids’ birthdays and genders.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) February 19, 2015
On the storytelling capacities of toddlers:
The story my 3 year old is telling me right now is remarkably similar to the story I told her about 2 minutes ago.
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) January 31, 2015
On having patience:
A great reason to have a kid is if you’ve ever wanted to watch anyone take an hour and a half to eat four chicken fingers.
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) February 12, 2015
On getting great gifts from toddlers:
I’m so proud of my 2-year old picking out this sticker for me. pic.twitter.com/yLxexcZLFf
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) February 12, 2015
On teaching life’s most important lessons:
After I ate the last cookie, I let my 7 year old watch a couple of scenes in Sons Of Anarchy to show him what happens to tattletalers.
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) February 20, 2015
On the Tooth Fairy:
The only thing I am thinking when I’m the Tooth Fairy is, “Please don’t let me be the parent that blows it”.
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) February 21, 2015
On false promises:
I bet my three year-old would give me one star on Yelp – “Promises ice cream but rarely delivers.”
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) November 16, 2014
Just going with the flow:
Found out my son has been wearing the same socks and underwear for three days. Glad he’s going green.
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) January 29, 2015