Why Raising Kids Is Like Being Stuck Inside Zoolander

(Photocredit: filmlinc.org)

I was thinking the other day about how we all try our best to be model parents. That got me thinking about my favourite model, Derek Zoolander and all the ways Zoolander is like being a parent.

Dealing with gross stuff

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Whether it’s changing diapers, cleaning up vomit or dealing with obscurely disgusting, communicable diseases, parenting sometimes makes you gag a little. It happens to everyone.

Having children can make you think about your sense of purpose

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Pre-kid priorities can change. Looking at a precious little person can make you think twice about what used to be important to you before they came along. Kids can challenge you to be deeper and consider your legacy to the world.

Deciphering art projects

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Kids are great at producing art that makes you think. It makes you think “What is this? How can I compliment this in a vague but convincing way?”

Coffee makes everything better

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You may find as a parent you get less sleep than you used to, whether it’s from co-sleeping, late night feedings, or worrying about college funds, caffeine is a sure-fire pick-me-up.

Endless Questions

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Sometimes being a mom is like being a Magic 8 ball for inappropriate and awkward questions you don’t know how to answer. These questions are reserved to be asked in front of strangers, in hushed tones that carry over the din of crowded elevators or when the room is silent enough to hear a pin drop.

Education Matters

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As a parent, the state of public (or private) education becomes incredibly important. You begin to develop strong opinions on how your child is educated and voice them, even if you feel like you might sound silly. It’s the principle!

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Sometimes you will need to motivate your child to participate in the education process. This leads inevitably to pep talks that might sound like this.

Irritating Speech Patterns

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From knock knock jokes to obsessive use of new-fangled slang, little kid speak sometimes gets super annoying. Everyone has their limits for irritation, and at a certain point, enough is enough.

Existential questions

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Parenting can make you question yourself, your life choices and your direction. Raising a little person really makes you think.

Derek Zoolander acknowledged he’s not an ambi-turner (he can’t turn left.) Similarly, it’s important to recognize our own limitations. Raising children can be very rewarding, and reminds us that maybe there IS more to life than being ridiculously good looking.