First, let me clarify that in this post I am only talking about me. This is simply my experience. I am in no way attempting to make sweeping statements representing all working moms or commenting on the challenges of staying at home. I am an expert on neither.
For the last 10 days I have been visiting my sister in Calgary. And despite what you might see below, it was AWESOME. But definitely full of reality. Usually during the summer my kids are in camp and I am busy working. Although summer is more relaxed, our routine is pretty similar to school days. I do take time off and we travel and do fun stuff together as a family but we are rarely just hanging around at home without something to “do”.
Those crazy cousins riding the waves at the West Edmonton Mall’s Waterpark.
But, aside from these fun adventures in Calgary, hanging around at home pretty much sums up our time there. Two moms, four kids hanging around. Now, when planning this I envisioned myself reading a book on the patio, snoozing on the couch or watching movies with my sister. All the while the kidlets would be happily entertaining themselves somewhere else. I was prepared to relax, catch up with Kath, and let the cousins’ reunion excitement fuel their activities. It was going to be dreamy.
However, this working mom was ill-prepared for the reality of the stay at home mom and 10 days later I am completely exhausted and totally sick of my kids. So you’re probably thinking that they were badly behaved, right? But the crazy thing is that you would be wrong. They weren’t. In fact, they were very good.
So, what is the problem then? Let me see if I can explain.
- They were constantly hungry and even when they fed themselves there was a mess to clean up. Even when they cleaned up the mess there was a mess to clean up. When they didn’t, we had to do it for them.
- They got bored. “We’re bored. What can we do?” A lot.
- They made up a song that they sang in the car. That song went like this: “Arrrrrrre weeeee therrrrrrrre yet? Are we there yet?! Are we there yet?!” over and over and over and over.
- They made up a new phrase that replaced any random word or phrase in a sentence. Said phrase was used over and over and over and over. Said phrase was “poo nugget”.
- They couldn’t figure stuff out for themselves.
- They wanted me and my sister to play with them. Often.
- They needed to sleep with me. In the bed.
- They were arguing/disagreeing/fighting.
- They couldn’t find “X”.
- They needed help with “Y”.
- They were annoying and loud and constantly there.
Oh my. That sounds brutal. But I guess that is kind of my point. It wasn’t really brutal it was just constant. And I am not used to constant.
I think what I learned from the past 10 days is that I am not meant to be a 24/7 mother. In fact, I am kind of embarrassed by how easily frustrated I got with them at times (I called my nearly 12 year-old a “dinkuss”. Yes I did.) The last 10 days were not my shining moments as a mother.
But wait! One of the days was actually awesome! It was everyone’s favourite day and I think I know why. It was the day that we spent at the waterpark in the West Edmonton Mall. The whole day from the morning until they practically had to chase us out when it closed. My sis and I rented a lounge area and the kids had free reign. They checked in with us regularly. Plus, we all did a bunch of the slides together. We left the park for food and came back ready to ride those waves again!
The difference on this day? The kids were busy. They were entertained. We had fun together but they didn’t need me all the time. In between trips to the wave pool and adrenaline rushes on the water slides I lounged and chatted with my sister while they went off and did their thing together. I enjoyed the time I spent with my kids because it wasn’t every single moment.
I know for sure I am a better mom for working. I know 100% that my kids like me more and the feeling is definitely mutual.
What about you? Do you relish every moment with your kids or are you a better mom when you have some time away?