My best friend and I always talk about how we feel we are in our prime- no matter when you ask us. It is truly obnoxious but if you think about it – it is all a state of mind. We have reached a point where we like ourselves in spite of occasional but persistent overwhelming evidence that we should not, we feel at our strongest, at our best, our most competent and therefore at our sexiest. We are both 48. I love that that is contrary to what the world tells us about age. Having said all that- we both agreed in all honesty that in spite of all of this 5 pounds can take us down. I am a bit ashamed of this but I am afraid it is true. I am good regardless but I am great if my number on the scale is, ahem…. well, what it is. I can’t tell whether that is society/media pressure or just how I know I feel at my best.
I don’t step on scales (the only reason we would have one in this house would be to weigh luggage) but I just know where I am at at any given moment. If my clothes are biting me – I am less happy. If I am less happy I am less sexy. My happiness depends on how I move in the world and if I am sluggish and sloppy I am not moving with a groove. If I am not moving with the groove then I am wasting precious moments. If I am wasting precious moments than I am down. If I am challenged, I feel sexy. If I am overcoming, I feel alive. If I feel alive, I feel sexy. If I feel sexy …. um okay that is enough.
This list we have compiled on what we find sexy in others /what helps us to feel sexy – it is completely gender non specific.
By the way if you are not finding this weather extremely sexy we have nothing in common.
Note this list has nothing physical on it. However, and this is a big however, you might not be as inclined to be all these things if you don’t feel good about yourself. So sexy is how we see ourselves and then how we move through our lives.
passion
curiosity
competency
inquisitiveness
intelligence
hands
arms
ok, enough of that – all body parts
challenge
strength
intensity (how did I forget that the first time?)
passion about anything from food to work to sport to anything
honesty
tenderness
doing what needs to be done
laughter
humour
kindness
strength
taking care of your body
taking care of your mind
taking care of your soul
depth
urgency
This image sums it up –
Well, that is pure sexy. Strength and tenderness. It beats the hollywood shot at the top of the post.
What are your thoughts on sexiness? When do you feel at your most sexy? What do you find sexy in another?
fantastic stuff and so true. Feel it and you will be it.
– empathy
– Compassion
– humour
– tenderness
– thoughfullness
– a sincere, heartfelt apology
– self reflection
– selflessness
– an all arm around, squeezed not to much, and held there, hug
– tears
– taking charge, and also knowing when not to
– knowledge
have never considered sexy and me in the same sentence. always felt ok with me, my body( always things to tone) and my appearance, fashion sense, but I see in the mirror……. just ok
my husband taught me the most wonderful phrase, when I feel insecure. And I do it,
” walk around like your famous baby” its an attitude, that if you put it out there, people will feel it.
yes! I cannot agree more- doing stuff that is hard, getting stuff done
and skin! touching! love it
I feel sexy when I feel unencumbered… when I feel like I’ve got stuff crossed off my list. I like people who smell good around me. I like to touch skin. That’s sexy to me.
Go Er-in, go, Er-in, go, Er-in… xox
YAY Erin! Summer is the best time for it
Lately sexiness is not even on my radar. But, this summer, I’m going to: BRING IT!
Toby- I am going to add “intensity” right now- I cannot believe I forgot that one! Major!
fantastic stuff – thank you Toby for the thoughtful comments and the poetry!http://myfamilyisnotbroken.wordpress.com/2011/06/22/if/ is a poem that I love and I think you will too (from an English guy though)
If sexiness is desirability, Nancy, I agree with everything you’ve written. By the way, a lot of those list items are things I would call, or associate with, intensity: being completely present in the body, in awareness.
For question 2 : about 4 o’clock in the afternoon, and 4 in the morning ! I guess hormones at peak level around those times.
For question 3 :
• A line or two of poetry whispered in my ear. The poetry should be in Arabic, if you don’t mind.
• A sweet disorder in the dress.
Delight in Disorder (Robert Herrick)
A sweet disorder in the dress
Kindles in clothes a wantonness:
A lawn about the shoulders thrown
Into a fine distraction:
An erring lace, which here and there
Enthrals the crimson stomacher:
A cuff neglectful, and thereby
Ribbands to flow confusedly:
A winning wave, deserving note,
In the tempestuous petticoat:
A careless shoe-string, in whose tie
I see a wild civility:
Do more bewitch me than when art
Is too precise in every part.