I Never Really Wanted To Sell At Home MLM Parties

Last week, we posted one mom’s story on why she is over her friend’s asking her to be a part of their MLMs. This week, we are looking at the issue from the other side as another mom shares why she never really wanted to throw your party in the first place!

“Hey, friend!

How’s it going? I am wondering if you would be interested in having a few girlfriends over and I could I bring over some of my bauble samples for you to see? I would love to get your opinion on some of the new Fall pieces. Nothing too formal – just serve cookies and coffee, or better yet, wine and cheese! If you can’t do it, maybe your sister would be interested in hosting?

What do you say?”

Silence…

Hmmm. A few days pass and I decide to go and creep my friend on Facebook. I see that she is active.  She has been commenting on our mutual friend’s photos, so she isn’t in the hospital with some terminal disease. I wonder if she just forgot to answer me?

Then I see her in the school parking lot picking up her kids. I wave frantically and start to walk over to her and she catches my wave and opens her car door and puts her phone to her ear as she waves me off.

Humiliation. But I smile and keep walking and brush it off like it doesn’t bother me. Bitch! I mutter under my breath! I’ve made the rounds of my friends a few times now, and I need to sell some stuff to make my goal this month, win that company incentive and pay for my daughter’s private ballet lessons.

The thing is, I don’t really want to do her party anyway. Doing home parties is like going on a bunch of blind dates you never wanted to go on. You never really know how it’s going to go down when you walk inside the door. A friend that is totally cool and easy-going can turn into a monster when she is having a party. Once you really get good at it and you are booking lots of gigs with people you don’t know, you never really know what you are walking in to.

I’ve hauled ass all over my city and beyond, with luggage stuffed with pretty baubles in order to make a secondary income for my family. I’ve smiled, put on some hideous necklace combos plus stacks of bracelets and cold called around my area. I’ve Facebooked incessantly in order to build my business. I’ve trekked into all kind of neighborhoods—a ten thousand square foot house with an ocean view, a dank basement suite apartment and everything in between.

There was the time I showed up at the hostess’ door, and six dogs came running towards me. One of them shoved his nose right in my crotch with his slobbery jowls and I had a big wet stain on my jeans for half the night as I tried to be my best, sparkly-selling self. All while I had to stand in front of a pile of dog poop to keep the guests from seeing what the hostess could not.

Then there was the time when a group of networking women invited me to show my wares. ‘Woohoo, of course!’ I thought. What they didn’t tell me was that this was their weekly prayer group. Even though I tried to coerce them towards the table where I had set up, they insisted that I sit in the circle with them and pray. I prayed alright! Prayed that they would buy some damn jewelry from me.

You have to continue to act interested and happy, like you have nothing better to do that watch a group of friends drink wine and have a few laughs while you stand aside and drink water (if they offer you any!). One time a hostess of mine spilled a bottle of wine right on one of my trays. Then she proceeded to put out her cigarette… also in my tray.

My favourite was a moment when I had driven well over an hour in the rain and sleet to an area I had never been before. No sooner had the party started than my hostess’ hubby came upstairs and stole one of my chandelier earring samples while heading to his man cave with a six pack. Thirty minutes later, he came back with his ear pierced, wearing MY earring, with blood running down his neck.

Nope, I never really wanted to do your party.

I just wanted to pay for my daughter’s ballet lessons.