As I picked up my kids from school on Friday afternoon, just before the Thanksgiving long weekend, my chatty daughter thrust a handful of artwork at me with one hand, and quickly wiggled her index finger into the elastic of her ponytail.
Um…
Still talking a mile a minute about her day, she handed her jacket to me, and used her other hand to scratch her scalp on the other side.
OH. NO.
I didn’t even bother to look. There’d been notices from the school saying, “…lice has been found on someone in your child’s class…” since the second or third week of school. I knew of about five or six families who were currently battling the sinister bastards – half of which don’t even attend the same school as my kids – so with each little scritchy-scratch Ava Scarlett did on the walk home, my shoulders just drooped even further, and I cursed not-so-softly under my breath. Blood-sucking muthers…
Say what you will about drinking in the daytime, but I tell you, it helps.
If there’s an upside to having lice in your life (for the fourth time in our lives, I might add) it’s that one tends to side-step the full-on freak-out that one normally experiences the first and second time around. Not that I’m embracing this scourge (not by a longshot) but I’m not sleepless in a fit of drunken tears like the other time(s).
Say what you will about drinking in the daytime, but I tell you, it helps. *smirk*
With Oliver, we just shaved his head, which was nearly as traumatic for us as it was for him the first time (since it was his very first haircut at age 5.5) but he was prepared to do it again, if (and when) it ever came back. The when was last August. We’ve just kept his hair buzzed down ever since.
Ava Scarlett had her first bout of it late last spring, but I was determined not to cut her hair. And what a head of hair she has – it’s long and it curls tightly, though not quite as tightly as Oliver’s so I managed. But it takes HOURS to go through it all. Alas, hyper-vigilance is what’s necessary to rid your lives of the scourge. Hyper-vigilance during the summer, when other kids have it… hyper-vigilance from the first day those notes about lice come home from school. For weeks, upon weeks, upon weeks.
Hyper-vigilance is exhausting, yo.
It seems the very minute you stop combing through hair for an hour each day, or the one day (or two) you stop using tea tree-infused, lavender-scented, blah-blah-blah oil in their hair, or leave their hair down for a day, you can start singing lice, lice, baby…
A couple of weeks ago, I laughed so hard I thought I’d choke over this blog-post on lice – indeed, starting with Step 1 (as indicated) certainly feels like the right idea in the moment, and you in a do-rag + Joni Mitchell + bottle pinot grigio is pure comedic genius, and will get you through your bout of The Lice. Which is where I am now. (Did lice just get the last laugh here? Somebody pass me my gun.)
I hate you, Lice. You’re ruining my life, you soul-crushing, heartless a-holes. I mean, really.
Grumble, grumble…
Got lice? Anyone?!
Dude – lice is rampant at Will’s school and now at his daycare. As the lice expert – what do I do to prevent it. For him – no bigs, I’d shave him but ME! What the hell would I do – and it’s all about me. Can I do anything?
Dude, it seems to be rampant EVERYWHERE! I think we caught it from the internet – a friend of mine in Texas went to a lice salon last week, and I’m pretty sure they came through the computer. And a friend of mine in New York said I sent we to her. UCH!! Indeed – it’s easy to shave the boys, but I just can’t do it to my girl. And it’s not a losing battle in her hair – it seems gone for now – but even if it’s gone for the next several weeks, how do I keep it OFF her?! Maaaaaan… these buggers are gonna kill me. Boo! Hiss!! (Good luck, sistah – try rubbing a bit of lavender or tea tree oil into the nape of your hair and around the temples each day, have a shot of tequila, and praaaaaay.)
I had lice as a kid, but (unbelievably) I’ve so far missed having it as a mom (knocks heartily on all wooden items within arm’s reach). As a teacher, I’ve had lice squirm their way through my classroom more than once, and yes: I’ve seen lots of boys just show up the next day with all their hair shaved off. Fairly drastic but effective, I daresay, and easier than spending hours with a nit comb.
I feel for you, honey! One of my friends has battled the little buggers several times and swears by hair dye – a pharmacist once told her it’s cheaper and more effective (well, her exact words were “way more toxic”) than any of the lice shampoos. Probably less strange on middle-schoolers than it would be on your little lady, but maybe worth consideration?
Uch. Hair dye? She’s FIVE!! #killmenow 🙁
I know. I wouldn’t die my 5yo daughter’s hair either, unless maybe the lice were recurring and it was dye or shave, I guess? My friend has tweens/teens so it’s a different story.
I just can’t imagine sitting down with a nit comb and that luscious head o’ curls Ava Scarlett has. I guess that’s where the wine comes in, right? Even with fine, straight hair, I remember crying and fussing when my mom was nit-combing my hair back in the day.
LICE SUCK.
I feel so fortunate that she’s just BORED with the process, but not exactly bothered. And she’s not feeling any kind of stigma about it either, thankfully. And her hair is less kinky than Oliver’s is, but holy balls… arduous as hell, man… *stabs all the things*
LICE SUCK, INDEED!
OH I feel your pain! We have had it 7 or 8 times in our house… almost always on my youngest’s head. Her long curly locks of hair also take hours to comb and when her head is invaded by those nasty bugs I scream… sometimes with my outside voice. We have the process down to a science now …with very little panic.
Why is it that they favour one kid and not another? I mean, I’m glad not to have EVERYONE in the house scratching their heads like crazy… maybe lice like dem curls? *shrugs* I’m thisclose to using Napalm…
I hear you on that… I have no answers. I don’t get why they love my youngest daughter’s hair more than my oldest daughter’s hair. It is so frustrating.
UGH. At what point do you pay the experts and not have to worry about it for yourself at all?
OY! I KNOW!!
To be fair, its only been one kid at a time (thank goodness) and it’s the fourth time in 4 years. It’s not reoccurring – it’s a new case each time. (Balls.)
For my money, you pay the experts when either a) everyone has it, including the muther, or 2) when you’ve been at it for WEEKS, and you’re still finding nits and/or live lice all the time.
My issue isn’t getting rid of it – I seem to get all (or most) within a couple of days – and this case isn’t rampant. The problem is once they’re gone, how to keep them off, when other kids at school or wherever have it. The oils and the shampoos and all that stuff are helpful, but they’re not guarantees. You just have to keep checking, checking, checking… that’s the hard part.
This is the part where you should cry for me. Womp-womp.
i’m knocking sooooo hard on wood…i’m hoping we’re done with it…forevah! my friend swears by the lice squad as they are such a calming force when it comes to this. blergh…hate the lices!
Oh, woman. I knock on wood for you, too. It’s just… exhausting.
But my question about Lice Squads is how do they make guarantees when the godforsaken lice is OUT THERE?! Don’t say “homeschooling” to me, please…
🙁