One week ago today my husband traveled down the long stretch of 401 making his way to London.
He was on his way to Victoria Hospital to see his cousin, Kevin who had been in a serious single vehicle collision the Friday night previous and was on life support.
Sean hedged several times on going to see Kevin. He didn’t want to see him like that, but desperately wanted to see him.
I think the pull was going and being with the people he was close to – his cousins. Sean only has sisters so his cousins have always been like brothers to him. Kevin especially. He was even in our wedding party and stood with us on one of the most important days of our life.
Kevin and Sean on our wedding day – May 29, 1999
Sean arrived at the hospital and was greeted by dozens of arms waiting to hug him. He went into the room and spent some time with Kevin. Spent some time with aunts, uncles, cousins. The people who he needed to be with. I’m so glad he did.
A few hours after Sean left the hospital, the decision was made to remove life support. Kevin passed away peacefully just after midnight on Tuesday.
Wednesday Sean and I arrived at the funeral home for the visitation. I’d never seen a crowd like it. After we shared warm embraces (but spoke no words) with Kevin’s immediate family members, we chatted with Sean’s rather large extended family.
All still in shock that we were there. For that.
At one point I stood quietly observing the room. The hum of chatter. The sniffling noses. The laughter that would peel out of nowhere – no doubt as people were recalling something Kevin had said or done. I know we have enough stories to pen a novel…
I watched people hugging, crying…The sadness was heavy but something struck me and has stayed with me since that moment.
The parallels of life. As we all gathered to share our grief/sadness/memories my mind wandered to other places. To the families that were gathered in hospitals celebrating. Relieved that their loved one got the phone call they’d been waiting weeks or months (or even years) for just days after we got the call we never wanted.
Kevin was an organ donor and his generosity has improved and or saved the lives of 84 people. Eighty four people. Staggering isn’t it?
The gift of life. The gift of sight. The gift of a better quality of life. For 84 people.
There was joy present for them as sadness was present for us.
In the midst of our grief and shock, somewhere else, people were celebrating.
They were celebrating Kevin’s gift to them. I don’t doubt for even a second that those celebrating didn’t have Kevin and his family on their mind.
At the funeral we were all given a green ribbon to show our support for organ donation. I wore mine proudly in honour of Kevin and the decision that I made long ago to be an organ donor. That decision was totally reaffirmed.
I’ve signed my card and registered. Have you?
- photo credit: Jody VanBree
I’m so happy that the pic I took – on a whim and out of my own sadness for my friend – and posted to my FB wall has made such an impact on so many people…He deserves all the praise he’s received. The most generous gift to give complete strangers. #register #besomeoneshero http://www.giftoflife.on.ca
Such a significant message in such a simple picture. Thank you for capturing it.
SO sorry for your loss Christine. I am a huge believer in organ donation! Sending you a massive hug!!!
I am so sorry for your families loss and I am inspired by the gift of life he has left behind.
For those in Ontario, you can even register online now to be an organ donor. https://beadonor.ca/
What a legacy he has left: a lifetime of memories with people who loved him dearly, and now, the gift of life for 84 (!) others. Thinking of you and your family during this time of painful loss, Christine.
I am so very sorry for your family’s loss.
I have been a reader of Urbanmoms blogs for years. I was living my life as a typical working mom like many of the contributors and readers of Urbanmoms. Then two years ago, my husband was diagnosed with a lung disease that had no cure. The only “treatment” was a lung transplant. My husband was in his thirties and we had two young children. A little more than a year ago, one year after being diagnosed, my husband received a double lung transplant. His disease had progressed quickly and without the transplant, he would not have lived more than a few more months. My husband is now doing very well. He is able to play with his kids and enjoy the little things that most people take for granted. He is back at work and he tries very hard to stay in shape to take care of his lungs. All of this is possible because someone registered as a donor and their family honoured their wish to be a donor. Not a day goes by that we don’t think about our donor and their family. We are so grateful for their gift and at the same time, we are very sorry for their loss.
Wow. Thank you SO much for sharing your story.
Right now we know that a young man is breathing and stable because of Kevin’s lungs.
His kidneys, liver, corneas, bone marrow and tissue have all been used to help others. There is no greater gift.
Hearing your husband’s story of recovery and health is so inspiring.
Again, thank you for sharing and I wish you and your family continued health!
My card is signed and registered also – as are my children’s – I’m a huge believer in organ donation. Eighty-four lives helped… that’s amazing.
I’m so terribly sorry for the loss in your family, Christine. I just know how well loved this man was by the way you describe him… sending hugs your way. xox
ahh…the registering the children. That’s a bit difficult but just as important.
Thanks for being so wonderful over the weekend as I waited to hear each update. Was a tough weekend to be away but so great to be with such incredible peeps. xox