Help! I Accidentally Bought Skinny Jeans!

Okay. I know they’re in right now, but not for my body-type and age. I swear to you, I bought them completely by accident. Here’s how it happened:

I’m at the mall, all by myself. I am supposed to be picking up my next six months’ supply of contact lenses. That took all of 5 minutes, and I have, by my reckoning, 55 more to myself before I have to get home before my lunch guests arrive or Gramma goes crazy from playing Operation over and over again with my cheaters kids.

I head to Lululemon, in search of the ever-absent size 10 hoodie in a colour I actually like. Spend 40 minutes or so ogling very, very expensive jackets, decide to settle for a new t-shirt for Yoga class (and yes, I do feel superior for actually shopping at Lululemon for -gasp- real yoga purposes!). Of course, none of the t-shirts I like are available in a colour I like. As I do not look good in kelly green — and certainly not for $89 — I head out on my travel-path back to where I parked my van.

And then I saw it. The fateful sign:

ALL INVENTORY UP TO 80% OFF. EVERYTHING MUST GO.

How could I not go into the store? With only seconds to spare (those of you who know me well now know why I am almost always late) I dashed in…dashed over to the winter coats…broke a hanger (accident!) couldn’t find a brown one in my size…dashed over to the jeans…grabbed a pair in my size and — without trying on, looking back or even looking down at the style of the jeans — bought them for a whopping $20. That’s $20.10 including GST and we don’t have PST in Alberta (neener-neener).

I got home and tried them on. My first thought? They’re a bit too tight around the hips and bum. But my mom said they looked good, so I decided to wear them anyway. It was only when I caught my reflection in a window hours later that I realized it:

Not only are they a bit too tight on the hips and bum, they’re also a bit too tight on the knees, calves and ankles.

GAK! I accidentally bought skinny jeans!

This is what skinny jeans are supposed to look like:

And this is what my skinny jeans look like:

and this:

I’m wearing them with flats because I read somewhere that this is de rigeur, and Jen also advised it when I told her about my jeans-buying blunder. Furthermore, the 80s girl in me can NOT get over jeans and high-heeled pumps. NEVER. This is because I – no word of a lie – once wore white leather pumps with 3-inch heels with jeans. Yes I did. And it has taken 20 years of therapy to get over it, so I will not go there again. Ever.

So I’m stuck with them now, and my question to you is this: should I just try to get used to them? Or should I bury them in the back of my jeans-drawer and forget about them?