9 08/28/2012 parenting Motherhood

Almost There…

Yesterday was the last day of summer vacation of Oliver, which was a typical Monday, but with the extras of a rather long laundry list of things that needed to be purchased or get done before the start of school. I sorted clothes and summer things around the children, who spent much of the day playing and making a huge mess. Lots to do, lots to do…

When we ventured out to run the last of the errands and to grocery shop, they were just being silly in ways that were just driving me crazy. Everywhere we went, I constantly shushed them for laughing too loudly, or chastising them for bumping into things and each other, because they were playing, “Look ma… we’re blind!” in store aisles. Or running too fast. Losing sight of the small one, who is now playing, “The Amazing Alice” who is apparently her magician-alter-ego, and who likes to make herself disappear. All over the freaking place.
They hug each, tackle-style, and both go crashing to the floor. So sometimes there were tears. You’d have thought it was their first day out in civilization, the way they behaved. They weren’t unhappy, and they weren’t exactly rude, but holy crap.
They were jostling and wrestling.
They were shrieking and giggling.
They were teasing and whining.
They were treading on my very last nerve, and I quickly grew weary and tired of telling them to stop it.
Just quit it.
Just.
Shut.
Up.
I’ve had enough, children. I said, I’VE HAD ENOUGH! 
They make faces at each other, and stick fingers in their noses. And then into each other’s noses. And practice fainting. And touch every thing in site. And pick up a stray Skittle off the floor. And eat it. Because the orange ones are my favourite. Oh my god.
You guys… please. PLEASE! Can we just… could you just… oh, COME ON!!
And they make a game of tattling to me every other second, telling me what the other one is doing, (as if I can’t see them with the eyes I have in the back of my head) and calling each other butt-face, and spying on other shoppers, and sitting in the display of pillows, and shouldn’t she go in time out, mummy? And then fall on the floor again, nearly wetting their pants from laughing so hard.
Ça suffit. Basta. Finito. Je. Suis. Tannée.
And they tried unsuccessfully to stifle their laughter, every time my voice rose and fell. And no matter how I spat threats at them in whispers, through clenched teeth, one kid would look sideways at the other, and they’d crash into each other like bowling pins, snorting and crying with laughter, sliding onto the floor.
I swear to god, you guys…
And all around me, people would smile and tell me how cute they were, and sweet they were with each other, and look how adorable… and I just kept wondering if it was still frowned upon to beat your children in public. I mean, holy balls. Maybe just a quick karate chop to the neck…
I closed my eyes. My temples throbbed in time with the knot in my back, beneath my shoulder. I let my face go slack, since I was too tired to make my Angry Face anymore.
Dinner in two hours… then baths… then bed…
Yesterday, wine o’clock came early, yo.
And then this morning? The first day of third grade for my boy.
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The 6:40 AM wake-up felt early indeed, but all went smoothly – he was all smiles, and didn’t seem anxious at all. Let’s hope the year goes well.
And don’t get me wrong: summer was terrific, and we had a pretty nice time hanging out – and I’m actually really glad they can entertain each other so well, but all this togetherness is making me a bit nuts. I don’t want to spend this many hours with ANYONE, day after day. It’s not natural. It’s part of why I would never home-school. (That, and the fact that I’m lazy as hell.)
This one starts at a new pre-school next Thursday, so we’ll have a bit of apart-time again. This is good for both of us.
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But I do so love the little darlings.
I’ll host my back-to-school brunch for my mummy-friends in the ‘hood sometime next week, and I can hardly wait to start making quiche.
Mostly, I’ll just be glad to have a bit of time on my own again, in which to get these kinds of things done. Some time when Andrew and I can do our shopping together in peace. You guys know Andrew, right? He’s handsome and quiet, and he doesn’t sass me or beg me for ice cream every twenty seconds, which makes him my favourite shopping companion ever. Plus, he does all the heavy lifting, so what’s not to like?
*skips and claps and does happy dance*
September is nigh, y’all… is it time to boogie at YOUR house yet?!
  • http://www.denstoredanske.dk/index.php?title=Erhverv%2C_karriere_og_ledelse/Erhvervsliv/Erhvervsvirksomheder/Pengelaanet.dk Penelope Sharkey

    Aye Captain :=)

  • Tracey

    Awww, thanks for reading, Christine!

  • Christine

    Glad to hear I’m not the only one with kids that get the crazy’s….My 2 girls (6 and 3) are at each other constantly….sometimes worse than other times. Laughing,whining, teasing, running, jumping, falling…I get to the point where I want to scream at times too.
    Hang in there.

  • Tracey

    And I would love to HAVE you, Village… we’ll just have to Skype through wine o’clock sometime.
    I guess since my chickens haven’t been at school much yet (only full days for one of them, so far) I feel the drag of summerathomewithmummyallthetime. Your girls are bigger… they’re not bedside you all the time – that’s probably sad sometimes, I’ll bet. But, I’m ready. ;)

  • Nancy

    wine o’clock? I love this!!!
    Umm what can I say? I am weird and always was sad to send my chickens back to school. Now I have big girl going to University on Saturday. I want silly days again!!!! Or perhaps I am just remembering it a little too fondly- it was likely cuckoo at the time.
    wine oclock always saved me tho’ and still does, grumbler. xxx
    I want to come to your quiche lunch!!!

  • Tracey

    I look forward to that too, lady. And how cute is it that she’s calling herself “The Amazing Alice”, Alice?! That’s the ONLY cute thing about this whole scenario. Lord!

  • Tracey

    I can’t tell you the number of things I put back too. :( Why must they be wee asses like this, huh?! Oy.

  • Alice

    It’s the squabbling and mutual crazy that makes me nuts, too. One on one? Awesome. Together? I want to rip my hair out and beat my naked head on a wall sometimes.
    I work through the summer, so it’s mostly the return to a proper schedule that I’m looking forward to.

  • Julie

    gawd…did you follow me around today or something? i left after trying on ONE pair of shoes for my oldest cuz i couldn’t take it anymore. even flipped off an idiot on the way home and stopped to chew him out (but he did deserve it)
    glug…glug…glug….

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