Easter Sunday morning I was greeted by my 7 year old niece who was reading from her favourite book You Must Be Kidding. Before I had a chance to drink my coffee she asked me, straight faced, “would you rather fart uncontrollably or burp your whole life.” Tough one to answer. Second question was ” would you rather have a really really fat butt or a really really really thick neck?” She is a great conversationalist.
A few hours later we were at small town church with fat necked priest who also had a rather enormous butt. A neck so thick in fact I could not stop staring at it. This made me think of the morning questionnaire and I started to laugh. Unacceptable laughing fits are very stressful. You actually feel like you are dying of suppression.
Speaking of suppression, it was a Catholic church and my daughter and I are not Catholic. I think everyone could sense this. The last two seats were in the very front so fatty pants began addressing us directly with his homily. It was entitled “You are very Good”. The message was very good-take the time out to tell people that they are very good. He pointed a pudgy finger at my daughter and said ” Just when was the last time you were told that you are very good?” She was uncomfortable because she knows she gets told it all the time. Not only that – she tells me I am very good too. He was preaching to the converted.
Great and serious messages get lost when they are cast and directed by Monty Python. The music could best be described as the painful noise cats make when their tails are caught in a door. The priest was making odd faces when he is feeling God’s presence- like he is experiencing electric shock therapy, and the alter boys are so uncomfortable you wonder if all is nice and right in this house.
Would I rather have a laughing fit at Easter church service or a fat butt, thick neck and uncontrollable farts ? Toss up for sure.
Thank you so much Judy. I feel so lucky to have so much support. See you soon in the neighbourhood-xn
Nancy,
I am thoroughly enjoying all of your writing both here and on your blog site.
It keeps me laughing, musing and forging ahead with life.
thanks, Judy
Both problems would be a challenge to friends and foe alike – I recommend a bland diet!!
The priest probably knew you were a once a year visitor to his church and wanted to make a strong impression. And he did.