By now most of you have come to know my terror child cute 5 year old Ryley, crap by now you most likely feel as though you have come face to face with him a few times! Actually if you did you might just turn around and run. Fast.
Although he is cute as a button (no really he is) I have also had some major red flags thrown straight into my face over the past few years that finally I have to stop, peel them off, and get down to the nitty gritty. By this I mean it’s time to have a full assessment completed.
Most of us mamas know when something just isn’t right, and I am no exception. I have been down this path before. Twice.
Unfortunately it took almost 8 years for my oldest son to be diagnosed with Aspergers, and after that diagnoses, another 4 years to be diagnosed as well with a mood disorder, otherwise known as bipolar. My now 6 yr old son was fast tracked a bit in the diagnosis but only because of his older brother. (Okay my phoning the clinic everyday to see how far along he was on the wait list may have had a slight influence….) He has Aspergers as well but isn’t quite as severe. Because we had a diagnosis by the age of 4 we had early intervention which has made a huge difference.
Which now brings us to my cute 5 year old. There are so many similarities to his older brother it is like I have entered a machine that goes back in time. His ability (yet abnormal for his age) to use real tools and take things apart liked a skilled tradesman, the collecting of batteries and tools (yes I have found screwdrivers in his bed that he treats as others his age would treat a stuffie or security blanket), his inability to make friends his own age, and his severe lack of friends (he has none in school) and his obsessive behaviour! Any of you who have ever come into contact with a child with Aspergers or one with OCD know exactly what I am talking about. It is enough to make me want to yell out at the top of my voice – “SHUT UP ALREADY!” except I only do silently in my head. He is only 5 after all and really doesn’t understand that his domination over conversations isn’t socially acceptable, nor the fact that it drives others crazy.
I want to believe it is my imagination, and that I am not really going through this again. But then he comes over my way and starts to cry. Tomorrow he doesn’t want to go to school. Again. When I ask him why, he gives me the answer he always does. Nobody likes him and he has no friends. Thank goodness we start his assessment this week, and will hopefully be able to piece together the puzzle, but then I wonder what I will do if the results come out how I think they will. I suppose I will deal with it the same way I do everything else. One day at a time and with humour.
Have you ever wished that something you know part of your child wasn’t really there and that perhaps you are over reacting?
Until next time,
Chantel, momof8crazymonkeys
If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.
Hi and thanks to yahoo that presented me this probability to obtain your internet site. The following is one of those blogposts that need to be bookmarked and distributed with other people and this is what i’m going to do at least on my facebook wall for sure. Thanks a lot again pal for making my evening. expect me to return. Ok bye.
I am grateful to live search that provided me with this possibility to arrive across your web site. This is one of those articles that would need to be bookmarked and distributed with the rest and this is what i’m going to do at least on my facebook wall for sure. thanks again pal for making my afternoon. Rely on me to revisit. Bye.
Well then, i’ll add my 2 cents to this post. 1st I would like to be thankful for you pal for the moment you took to compose and distribute this post with other visitors… i admire that. 2nd of all, the level of facts you provided is exactly what i was looking for and no doubts i will bookmark it for the future referance. many thanks once again and have a nice day.
Your possess world wide web webpage is like your own area on the World wide web exactly where you can provide your message to hundreds of thousands of your audience. This is a area wherever your viewers can get to you, as well. Fundamentally, there are 5 primary good reasons that you really should develop your own site in your affiliate advertising and marketing enterprise:
is it possible that i could use this information for my school project? please email me if this is possible.
@Chantel…..Yes, the non-verbal is very similar to Asperger’s. I actually had her tested for Autism based solely on the social difficulties she was having. But, she was not anywhere on the spectrum. Yes, the social part is very difficult. It is even difficult to watch her interacting with her 4 year old sister, who is on the other end of things. She is slightly advanced for her age and has hit all milestones way ahead of schedule. She picks up on things much faster than Emma does. It is a challenge, but we plug through day by day. Emma attends a fabulous psychologist and they have an after school program that she attends once a week, they work on the social aspect of things. I hope you are able to put the pieces together also. xoxo 🙂
Chantel, that was me and my anxiety-ridden daughter. Your son is fortunate that you know what you’re looking for, and what his behaviour *might* mean so that you can have him assessed early. With my daughter, I would always put things down to a phase or blame it on something or other…now she is 11.5 and JUST starting proper treatment as a result. I can’t help but think she never would have gotten this bad, and the treatment would have been simpler (less invasive/pervasive) if I’d just managed to have her seen by a psychiatrist sooner.
So…yeah, you might hope you’re wrong, but hiding your head in the sand won’t help your son if it turns out you’re right. You’re doing the right thing.
For what it’s worth…here’s hoping he’s just quirky and grows out of it and it’s not Asperger’s after all 🙂
Wow. That’s about all I can say. Wow. I don’t know how you do it Chantel. My one set of twins, work and home do me in. You amaze me. I agree that it’s best to know so you can do something even though it would be easier (temporarily) to remain in the dark.
Julie – good luck with your assessment. I am so glad that I am here to help or listen to even just one person out there:)
Thanks Nicole – I had no idea about your little Emma! I have heard that Non-verbal is very similar to Aspergers in many ways. I have found that the academic part although difficult is so much more easier to deal with than the social part. This part kills me. As parents it tears us apart to see our children hurting so much and trying so hard. I remember seeing my oldest son walk around the school play ground all alone everyday. I don’t want to see my little guy go through this as well. I hope you are able to put the pieces together… hugs to you:)
Thanks Julie:)
Oh Nancy I had to laugh at your comment about the clean sheets – my father in law believes the cure for everything is peroxide! lol
I agree with everything Nicole said. I’m also a mother of a special needs child going through pretty much the exact same thing right now. Our assessment is on Thursday….
Thanks for being strong and allowing the rest of us to laugh along with you. If it wasn’t for your blog and others like it, I would feel so lost and alone amidst this battle.
Thank you.
Chantel,
I think everyday why me and why my little girl. My Emma is a charming beautiful and caring girl. But, there have been red flags since she started JK. We have been going through many issues with my oldest and it breaks my heart to see her have difficulty making friends at school or when she comes home upset because someone made a comment to her (a comment that to any other child may forget by the end of recess, but it could ruin the rest of her day). She is diagnosed as ADD and having a non-verbal learning disability. We just went through a full assessment and hopefully we can piece things together as well. She struggles with reading, writing and math and socially with her peers. She bites her finger nails raw and picks her skin due to her anxiety. So, I feel your pain and the only thing we can do is take it day by day. I definitely need to find the humour daily, but I admit I get overwhelmed and just want to shut down…but I can’t. My mom always says that the Lord doesn’t give you more than you can handle, but I have many days when I wish he didn’t think I was so strong. Chantel, thank you for sharing your many stories, I am sure I am not the only one who is glad to read some of your humourous stories (although, probably not that funny to you in the moment). I know it makes me realize that I am not alone in these parenting struggles or constant questioning of whether I am just making mountains out of mole hills. Keep your chin up Chantel! You are inspiring!
when i hear stories like this or like what christine just went through with the flu i know i couldn’t handle it. i have trouble handling it when one of my kids refused to eat dinner “just because”!
seeing how you all deal with real issues gives me the strength to look at my life and see that i have 2 healthy kids, i don’t have to feed them special diets, get them assessed, manage therapy, manage supplements, special education plans, etc. and just get over myself. (this is where i give me a good ol’ slap) maybe that’s why it’s you? to help us?
hugs to you, i hope all goes well…
You absolutely amaze me Chantal. I cannot believe what you handle on a daily basis.
My style is weird- I am afraid of over diagnosis and labelling and enabling- a little like my mom always thinking a warm bath and clean sheets could solve anything. On the other hand I am very afraid of under carpet sweeping and feel the need to be vigilant.
keep going- you are something else.