so…this is a really embarrassing story. and because i have no shame…when something mortifying happens to me, i can’t wait to share it with the internets.
i have this weird thing about water. actually, scratch that. i have this weird thing about vomiting. i’m not going to get into it right now, since that’s a story for another day….but let’s just say that i have a fear of vomiting, it’s called emetophobia (you can google it, i’ll wait). it’s completely irrational, like all phobias, and it doesn’t make any sense. but with strange phobias, come bizarre rituals.
for me, one of these is drinking water. in my mind, water is a cure for puke. it’s an anti-dehydration thing. [stop laughing] if my body is well hydrated, my chances of puking are less. i KNOW it makes no sense. so, at the end of the day, i usually assess how much water i’ve had to drink…and if it wasn’t enough, i start drinking. like, bottles and bottles of water.
so, on monday evening, we were getting ready to go out and i realized that all i’d had to drink the entire day was two coffees (i know, not only am i irrational, i’m brilliant too!) so, i drank. and drank some more. and drank some more.
and we were about halfway downtown, on the DVP, when it hit.
need. to. pee. now.
there was not a chance on god’s green earth i was making it all the way to the Esplanade.
so, i got my friends, who were driving, to pull over and some random restaurant. because it was labor day, many places were closed, so this was the first we could find. it looked like the cafeteria of a nursring home. i swear, it was like god was laughing at me…"You fit right in here Ali. You get dizzy on rollercoasters and you have a bladder deficiency. sit down and have a seat. want to suck some soup with the other senior citizens?"
also, because i’m a loser, i forced the husband to ASK FOR A TABLE. i didn’t want them to think i was using them for their bathroom…so he asked them for a table for four and we were going to wait outside for our friends. We raced outside, hopped in the car, and made a run for it.
now that i think about it…should have been titled…why Ali is a complete loon, part deux. (but at least it makes for a good story)
I can & most likely will throw up if I even hear someone else gag or dry heave. My husband is awesome – has always cleaned up our kid’s puke if they vomit. I cannot stand the sound of someone barfing. Honestly, just writing this makes me feel nauseas!!!
hey Ali if i downed that much water at one time not only would i have to piddle multiple times it would seriously make me throw up.hahaha
That is way tooo funny and also i am the same way- really, really scared of vomiting.
Did not think anyone shared the same hydration or lack of hydration concept, but just re-assuring to know I was not out of my mind 🙂
I hate puking too. But my sister will puke on command. If her stomach is slightly upset she’ll go stick her finger down her throat. (she’s not bulimic or anything).
That’s an interesting water theory though.
I used to have a whole ritual about when I was drinking I had to go home and drink peppermint tea and have a gravol so I wouldn’t puke in the morning. It worked.
This is a wee bit silly but pretty funny. So funny that I read the requesting-to-sit-down part twice just in case I missed something. How do you manage with having little kiddies who presumably get sick here and there?