What is it about being pregnant that draws rude, shocking and infuriating comments from people? Strangers see a woman with a baby bump and suddenly feel free to make a snide joke about how big she is, or chuckle lecherously about whether or not she knows what made it happen.
I suppose a pregnant belly can be hard to ignore at times, and people often don’t know how to approach the obvious. It is funny that something as private and intimate as “doin’ it” results in such a blaring, bulbous gut protrusion that everyone can’t help but stare at. Nature is weird.
The worst thing anyone said to me while pregnant is this:
I was heading out to pull some weeds on the edge of our property and was about eight months pregnant. I was wearing some yoga pants and since I didn’t want my gut and plumber’s crack to hang out, I yanked the pants up nice and high over my belly so they’d stay put while I gardened. I walked outside and this guy said, “You look like Boss Hogg!”
I clubbed him with my hoe.
Then I made him dinner.
Because he is my husband. And no, he still hasn’t lived that one down.
What’s the worst thing someone has said to you while pregnant?
I was pregnant with my first and feeling great about myself – I loved that finally I was “allowed” to have a belly. One night while my husband was working the night shift our friends came over. I was exhausted but they just woudn’t leave even though it was getting very late. I was already almost in tears just because I was so beside myself tired and bored with talk of quantum mechanics – ugh. He talked and talked and talked some more. Finally just when I thought my delightful evening was ending around 1 AM he obliviously told me I looked like a BULGING PORPOISE!! and he laughed and laughed!!! I was horrified and it took all I had not to burst into tears right then and there. He had no clue and I’m still in shock. At least now I can finally laugh about it – 8 years later. I should have said “oh yeah? You’re going to be eaten by a bulging porpoise after I chain a brick to your leg and throw you in the ocean”
my brother (of course) asked me when i was about 8 1/2 along if i “was suppose to be so ‘puffy’ ” and then went on to ask if i would “ever go back to normal” …ugh, MEN!
I was about 34 or 35 weeks pregnant with my first, and was still working. I ran into a rather unpleasant coworker at the store on the main floor of our office tower, and was waiting in line to pay for a drink (so I couldn’t get away from him). He started VERY loudly commenting on how big I was, and the worst of his comments was that my very round belly just looked like a big huge zit that should be popped. The cashier heard it all, and gave me the saddest look when I was paying, it was almost too much to bear. I got back to my office and was in tears – and SO close to calling the professional standards rep in HR!!!
“FEE FI FO FUM”…. from my husband, who I know loves me dearly! 🙂
Oh dear! Just reading some of these comments makes me feel so bad for everyone who has had one of these things said to them. I’m about 5 mos along now with our first and I am not really showing that much yet – but I also dress in a way that conceals my bump for the most part. The comments that I’m getting right now that I don’t love are from my in-laws, who keep saying that they can’t see anything and that there’s nothing there! Um, way to make me nervous, and also, I am not going to strip down to my underwear to show you my bump, thanks. A few people have also asked me how I am but when they ask, their eyes are nowhere near my face, and are staring at my stomach. Hello?? my face is up here!
I work with a guy who, every day, told me I was getting fat. 3 weeks after I had my bundle of joy, I went back to work for a visit and, the same man told me that I was still fat. He also frequently asked me why I’d want to have a baby. He kept telling me that it was going to hurt… bad. He seemed to take some bizarre pleasure in that.
(When I called work to let them know about my baby, I told the secretary that I filmed the whole thing for Norm… he believed that for a little bit and was scared.)
What a funny topic Amanda, there really are SO many outrageous people out there it seems that don’t know when to shut it. The worst part is that I was one of those people, and I still feel bad about it. I saw a woman who I knew was due any day and said, ‘It can’t be long until your baby is due.’ She was so livid! She told me she just had her 10 lb baby boy 3 days earlier! I wanted to crawl into a hole and die!
Okay, so personally, I can relate to lots of stories told by other ladies. But my worst was when some man, whom I know enough to say hi to, but I don’t really know came up to me and pat my belly! Eeeek!! I wanted to swat him away with a baseball bat but instead just stood there in shock.
When I was pregnant with you, my dear,and you were 17 horrible days past my due date, we went to church. It was a small church and everyone knew each other quite well so most people knew when you were due( might have had something to do with my constant complaining) Any way, we entered the church and a man we knew said, “Well, here comes Mother Superior”. I ran down to the basement bathroom and cried for quite a while. On it’s own it’s a pretty bland statement, but combine that with 17 day late hormones and discomfort it was pretty devastating to me. I’m sure I’d still be pregnant if I wasn’t induced!
I haven’t had a comment on my shape yet, but I was eating some chips and dip the other day and was asked, “Are you really going to KEEP eating that? I mean, you’ve had a lot already.”
I just about chucked a chip covered in dip at her face.
At a social function in my home town, my mother actually commented to a friend, that I must be having triplets, Iwas so big. Yes Amanda, this is your grandmother I am talking about.
When I found out I was having a boy, my best friend said to me, Well, boys are cute until they’re about 4 or 5. Gee, thanks for raining on my parade. This best friend also said when I was about three months pregnant, Are you sure you’re not having twins? Uh, no, I’m not having twins and I’m still skinner and weigh less than you do so SHUT IT!
Well, I was less than 48 hours post-partum and someone rubbed my tummy and told me I “still had a little belly.”
I was not impressed. But decided to laugh instead.
When I was pregnant with my first daughter, my father in law once jokingly said at a party we were at, “hang on and I’ll get my wide load sign out of the truck so people will know you’re coming…” I was not impressed to say the least. With my twins, a bunch of nurses at the hospital started cackling and saying “you’re going to need a wheelbarrow to cart around that belly soon…”
As someone who gains ALOT of weight while pregnant and not all over either, mainly in the belly, I got alot of rude remarks. Of course the hormones made me cry about them too…but my husband thought I was beautiful and couldn’t keep his hands off me when I was pregnant and THAT made me feel better about everything.
I had a lady say that I “looked MUCH larger than 5 months.” I cried.
The FIRST day I wore a maternity shirt, and thus looked OBVIOUSLY pregnant (I was having twins, after all), a woman got frustrated with me at work. She didn’t like that she couldn’t return something, and got all snippy with me and said, very snottily “It’s OBVIOUS your pregnancy is effecting your mood”. Just the way she spit it at me, like I was some dirty little stupid lowlife.
I would have to say the worst comment I ever received was after I had my second… My 6 year old nephew asked if I had a baby in my tummy. When I told him not anymore he asked me “Are you Sure?”! “Yes” I replied, “sometimes mommy’s tummy’s take a while to get back to normal after the babies gone.” He just raised his eyebrows and left. Sadly I was already about 6 months post partom…
And of course with gaining over 60 lbs with both of my pregnancies I received a lot of seriously insensitive comments from my family. The worst would have to have been my father-in-law. He came over to my house when I was about 6 months a long the second pregnancy and asked “how many months I was”. When I told him he exclaimed “If your already this big your going to be as big as a house when the baby’s due!”… I told him to get out.
I was a work and about 7 months pregnant with my second when a larger woman said to me that I was huge. I said gee it’s nice to meet you too. She than said I didn’t mean any harm, your just larger than I ever was….. Thank you lady whom I just met for making my day.
I had three separate people say to me, “Are you going to have that baby already?” implying that even though I was only 6 or 7 months, I was too huge. And with the constant reminders from my grandma to not get too fat- it was just great.
My cousin said, “You know, from the back or front, I can’t really tell you are pregnant. But when you turn to the side BAM YOU ARE HUGE!!!!”
Lastly, my family (seriously) took bets on how much my son would weigh, because they were so sure that since I was aparently SO HUGE, he had to weigh, like, 40 pounds.
Needless to say he was not named after any of them!!
I’m so sorry but this made me laugh so hard at the sheer terribleness. I KNEW that the guy must have been Steve before I read the next line. Oh Steve.
I don’t remember too many bad comments when I was pregnant. My most memorable was when a guy at work asked, “Tam, are you pregnant?” I wasn’t.
This wasn’t while I was pregnant, but it definitely relates. After I got married, I gained about 25 lbs. My (Army) husband deployed, so I decided to lose some weight and be super hot when he got back. I lost about 20 of the lbs I gained and was fitting back into my “skinny” clothes. I was in a friend’s wedding, and had to fly to get there. On my way back home after the wedding, I was going through airport security, and wearing one of my favorite shirts. The female security guard said, so when’s the baby due? I said, um, I’m not pregnant. She replied, Oh, it’s just fat then?? OHMYGOD. Seriously??? I was so shocked I couldn’t even respond.
Um, working in retail I received some doozies. I’m due in two weeks now and my most memorable comment came when I was six months along. Upon learning my due date a client exclaimed to me that I was a big as her daughter who was due the day before! I saw her daughter and I was no where near as big as she was. Now people are telling me I look small – they all get hugs and kisses!
I think I just posted a blank comment. ANYWAY, I was walking into work…I was about 6 or 7 months pregnant and this guy I hadn’t seen all that much says to me, “Wow, you have packed on some pounds!”
I kicked him right in the nuts.
Okay, no I didn’t, but I wanted too. The strange thing is though, I don’t think he knew I was pregnant. I’m not sure which is better or worse, either way he should be missing a few balls.
That’s easy: “Are you sure you aren’t having twins?”
The same person said this to me more than once. GRRRRRRR.