No, this is not a post about weight loss and the benefits of “losing”. This is, in fact, a post about the great things experienced when playing for a losing team. And yes, I’m serious. Shocking, right?
I mean, we all want to win. Winning is fun and motivating and it feels good. And if this is true for us it is a million times more true for our kids. There is no doubt, we prefer our kids to play for a winning team. At least some of the time. All of us do. I mean, who wants to go day after day after day to play and practice and lose. And who wants their kid to go through this? You might not believe it but strangely, I do. And I know I’m not alone.
It is easy to love a team, a sport, your teammates when the going is good. But when the chips are down and all of that is stripped away? That is when the real lessons are learned. That is when one is forced to ask themselves, “why am I really doing this?” and “how can I continue to stay motivated?’ and “what can I get out of this experience?” That is when one is faced with the question, “do I love this enough to play even when we are losing?” This is about tough questions, life lessons, and personal growth. Just like that old expression, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
I spoke to a dad of a goalie who expressed to me that the experience of losing has been a huge challenge for his son. Always the dependable, steady, core of the team, this kid is now experiencing self-doubt and struggling to perform. Is his dad concerned? Of course. But more than anything he sees this as a great opportunity for his son to see a bunch of things that only losing can offer. 1) It takes the whole team to win a game. No matter how hard he tries or how good he is he can not win a game on his own. 2) It is good for a kid who is used to things coming relatively easily to experience disappointment. And 3) He is now forced to shift the focus away from wins and figure out other ways to measure his success. This has been a challenge for this boy but one his parents see as a great opportunity for new perspective.
I spoke to a few of the kids on the team and they all agreed that losing “sucks” but what astounded me was that there was no finger pointing or blame. What I saw was a group of boys finding ways to have fun, celebrate the little things, and most of them expressed commitment and a drive to improve.
I am so proud of these boys and I truly believe that this will only make them stronger. It will teach them about why they really play. For my son it is a true love of the game and the camaraderie of the team. Without the experience of losing I am not sure he would have figured this out. Now, he plays because he wants to. For himself.
The boys have the right attitude and great perspective but interestingly, when I put the question out to the coaches about what they have learned from coaching a losing team I didn’t get a single response. Maybe we could all learn a bit from these boys and see that sometimes losers really do win.
What tough situations have you or your kids been through that had a silver lining?
The Your Biggest Fan Blog Series is sponsored by Chevrolet. All content is true, based on Jen’s personal experience.