I never really did sleepovers as a kid. My parents wouldn’t let me. I even had to leave early from one of my best friend’s 13th Birthday parties because my parents wouldn’t allow me to stay the night. I mean, I was TWELVE. But they felt it was inappropriate and unnecessary. I mean, according to them I had a perfectly good bed at home.
But because of this I have no idea when this is appropriate to start. At what age can a child handle it? At what age are they able to take on a dark room in a strange bed at someone else’s house? OK, shades of my mother. But really, approximately when did your kids start sleeping at friend’s houses? What other advice do you have?
I don’t see what the issue is with sleep overs. I use to do it as a kid, I would sleep over at a friend’s house or they would come over to mine. Who doesn’t like to stay up a little past bedtime watching a movie and eating popcorn? And then when it’s time for lights out you lay in the dark whispering and giggling.
I don’t find anything inappropriate about it and the bonus, mom and dad get a night off (unless it’s hosted at your place of course).
MJ, my parents were kind of the same way and now I am! My oldest, who is almost 9, has only slept over at his grandparents’. He’d love to do sleepovers with his buddies, but I’m just not comfortable with it.
Both my girls absolutely love to sleepover at their friends houses. For my daughters 11th birthday we had a huge sleepover party. It was absolutely fantastic the girls had such a great time. It’s truly an experience that they will never forget.
Your children are ready to sleep out when they are able to independently get themselves to sleep each night. If your children need you to lie with them, they are definitely not ready.
Both my daughters started sleeping over at friends when they were 8 years old. We started hosting sleepover parties when my girls turned 10.
All four of my kids have been completely different. Not only from kid to kid, but from year to year unto themselves. One kid started out loving them and then went through a period where she couldn’t do it. One started out hating them and now I can’t keep her here. Two of them have always loved sleeping anywhere but here!
Jen is right, let your child lead. I’ll add to that by making sure the first few times are in a situation where you are able to pick up a weary child in the middle of the night and to let them know that’s okay. Also, make sure the child they are trying this out with is the kind of child who would understand and not make it a big deal if they want to go home.
I thought maybe a group sleepover would be ideal for our first sleepover experience. It just wired her up and made her even more afraid to have so much stimulation. Keep it to a comfy family and just one kid, IMO.
I was a sleepover FREAK when I was a kid. LOVED THEM. I had sleepovers all the time. Part of this stemmed from my desperate fear of sleeping alone. However, my kids aren’t as into them. My nearly 11 year-old son has them occasionally. He goes to camp and up to his friends’ cottages but as far as crashing at a pals on a whim? Not so much.
My daughter is more into them at 7.5 but nothing close to me. She has absolutely no fear but some of her friends do so we have had a few false starts and tears from pals. And little empathy from my girl who’s thinking, “just lie down and go to sleep!”
I think you should let your child lead. They will let you know when they are ready. I don’t mean just the begging but also in their ability to separate from you, fall asleep on their own and not wake during the night. Plus, make sure you know the family REALLY well, especially the first time. That way if the child is upset they could be comforted or, worse case, the parents would be OK carting your child home in the middle of the night or having you come and pick him/her up. Maybe try it with a cousin or neighbour first?
Finally, make sure to remind your child about their rights around their bodies, etc. Don’t make a big deal around the time of the sleepover but have that chat for sure. Your child needs to know what boundaries are there no matter whose house they are at.
I think sleepovers are a fun and important step in a child’s independence. Good luck!