When I got married I think my new husband was proud that I took his name -even though I only changed it in practice, not legally.
When I separated that was not an immediate thing for me to change again in practice. Many people change the name first as they cannot bear the idea of still carrying the name of their ex.
Because having his name meant having the same name as my children it felt right for a time. Also when I changed my hair colour my kids were extremely traumatized, so one thing at a time.
Additionally, my work, which is tied directly to my married name, could not endure any confusion or loss of momentum.
My married name had given me some things I did not love and a reference to a life I did not want- but also many things I did love– a great and successful business, a start to a beautiful life of writing and most of all- two incredible children.
Slowly though, saying my married name out loud started to bother me. A lot. I began using my maiden name when I dropped shoes at the cobbler, or when I ordered something in a store and a little bit when I introduced myself to new people.
I wanted my old name back.
These cheques came recently in the mail. I love the look of them.
You go, girl!
Funny, I just wrote this post: http://www.urbanmoms.ca/losing_it/2011/07/whats-in-a-name.html
With the exact same title (and theme, perhaps not surprisingly).
I’m happy you did it. Good for you!
Valentine is my married name 🙂 My maiden name (Leiman) is also my mother’s maiden name, so my children and I are all “Leiman Valentine” to honour her. She’s been a single mother for 33 of my 34 years and the strongest, smartest, most loyal, most devoted, personally accomplished women I’ve ever had the privilege to know. I’m a big fan of tough single mothers!
Alice- how did you have the same last name as your mom if she kept hers? I don’t get it.
I get this Candace, like they are in a club and you aren’t a member
your name is cool
you could be a famous children’s book writer a la Jean Little
It is interesting isn’t it, what is attached to a name. If your last name is Valentine I can’t imagine anything better.
I added my husband’s name to my list of names – which is the tradition in my family – but I used my maiden name for business until I was ready to leave business. It’s weird, but like your married name for you, my maiden name had a bunch of stuff attached to it that I just don’t want, anymore. How awesome is it that we have the choice, though, you know? Good for you, lady!
I’m with Erin – everything I ever did, I did with my own name, so I didn’t want to distance myself from all that, nor do I feel like I’m really joining the other family the way women used to. My mom kept her name, too, and I always liked that I had the same last name as my mom, my favourite aunt, and my grandma. It’s good to feel that your name reflects you! Good for you.
I didn’t even consider changing my name. The whole idea makes me feel like chattel. I know not everyone feels that way, but I do so I am still a Little.
My sisters and female cousin didn’t change their names when they married but I felt obligated as my maiden name and married name are very similar and it would have been a lifetime of confusion. I have a picture at a family reunion with those women and women who married into the family and did change their names and I was the only one out of a group of 9 with a different last name! I felt a bit sad about it.
I kept my maiden name as my middle name and took Sean’s last name.
The only reason I changed it was to have the same surname as my children.
We then gave our firstborn my maiden name as his first name. It complicated things.
People – mostly teachers at the school – call me Mrs. Campbell all the time and I don’t even notice. I answer to either.
I know what you mean debbie. But if they have the best parts of you that is still the most important thing
reclaiming is so exciting and eye opening
It’s all about “cheques and balances” … and reclaiming our identities … the ones we had BEFORE our marriages. I wish I could change my kids’ names too … they are a reflection of me far more than of their father.
Ohmygodyes…
we give our children the names we would have loved for ourselves, don’t you think?
I feel the exact same about mine. Ack.
well I didn’t say I liked it
I just prefer it over the other
xxn
Good for you, lady!! It’s important to like your name, right? It has to suit and reflect you. (I never changed mine… it’s not the usual thing here anyway, and besides, I had all those business cards already…) 😉