I often wonder what has happened to feminism. Several incidents have brought it to mind again. 
One is that my daughters want every stuffed animal and book character to be a she. Most of us naturally refer to a creature without an obvious sex as a he. For example: teddy bears. When I do that they yell “SHE” and say “She’s a goil (3 year old pronunciation). I keep forgetting and reverting to he. I have since become aware that a lot of their books have mostly male characters. Sure there are books about females like Madeline, Angelina, and more but…most of the books with animal characters feature males. What message does it give young girls when almost every animal character / stuffed animal is automatically a he? I would think they might internalize the idea that male is better. BTW, I have to change all the animal characters to shes while I read.
Another incident was a “Dispatches” episode I heard on CBC Radio (I love CBC Radio). It was about Italian TV. Apparently, almost all Italian TV shows have nearly naked women strutting around but rarely speaking. One disturbing example was of show with a woman hanging off a hook in a meat locker surrounded by Procutiio while the men commented on her behind. The “Dispatches” episode interviewed an Italian woman who became so disgusted with how women are portrayed on television that she created a documentary about it and now spends her time presenting it to young women.
So, what is happening here? I think there are many young women who don’t want to call themselves Feminists because the word has negative connotations. Yes they think we should be equal but they think we already are and that there is nothing left to do. My step-daughter debated with me that women are paid the same as men and used my job as an example. Well, yes, all teachers with the same education level and years of experience are paid the same salary. But ask the female lawyer at a big firm if she gets the same pay and if her chances for partnership are equal. Then, ask a female lawyer who has children and took some time off and has to be home to make them supper and put them to bed, does she get the same pay and opportunities?
If we were truly equal, we wouldn’t need a Dove Beauty Revolution, and we would have universal childcare, and women would really earn the same wage as men for the same work.
When I was in my early twenties I was more of an active feminist than I am now. I read Backlash by Susan Faludi and The Beauty Myth by Naomi Klein. I took Women’s Studies courses and I took Women in Literature and feminist Political Science courses. Now, I’m an activist in my mind but not in reality. I want to be on many topics, and I will be again, when my children are older.
We’ve come a long way baby, but we’re not all the way there yet. I want my daughters to feel confident about their intelligence and their appearance. I don’t want them to always think (like I have sometimes) if only I were prettier, smarter, more athletic, funnier, more successful, etc.
What has happened to feminism and what should we do?
I wish Dora the Explorer might get a different hairstyle. That bob Dora wears drives my family insane. Even more so due to the fact my little girl says that is the way in which she wants her new hair-do.
Great food for thought, Er! I love the button too. So radical, eh? I think you are right that many women wouldn’t identify themselves as “Feminists” due to the negative response and connotations. It has become a very provocative and emotional term. My feeling is that in our attempts to be “equal” we confused that with being “the same” and men and women are simply not the same. In the process traditional “women’s work” was devalued and “success” for a woman often became synonymous with “masculine”.
Obviously there is a backlash as women attempt to balance what is “feminine” with power and passion and success. But also as women attempt to fight the over-sexualized stereotypes that become our children’s role models. My daughter is a real “tomboy”. She loves sports and prides herself on being tough and competitive. Her best friend is a boy. There are plenty of female characters in books but VERY few that she can relate to. So, she looks up to the boys. She dresses like a boy, she has posters of Sidney Crosby on her wall, and she even says “I like boy things” or, “I don’t like girl things”. She knows that boys and men hold more power so in order to have it she needs to be one.
For a long while when she was little she was into Dora the Explorer. Dora was strong and adventurous and a good friend of boys and girls. She had lots of interests. She was a great role model for a strong young woman. But now who is there? The very girly and prematurely sexy Hannah Montana? I find as she gets older she identifies less and less with female role models because there simply aren’t many out there that have the same values. My husband and I try to focus on female athletes like the young, female hockey coach at her camp this past week and that helps. She now wants pink hockey gloves like the coach! A great way to show her she can be proud to be a girl and an athlete at the same time.
I also worry about what my boy thinks. He sees all of these young women focused on being “pretty” and superficial and material things. Is this what he is going to think women are like? Luckily he has many strong and beautiful women in his life which I am hoping will offer some perspective.
I understand a young woman’s need to express her femininity and feel beautiful and sexy. But I worry that it is at the expense of their self-respect and they are forced to dumb themselves down to achieve this. It would be great to find a way to embrace the Sexy/Smart/Successful/SELF-RESPECTING woman as a role model.
Finally, I think women need to start supporting and valuing traditional “women’s work” too. Not that it needs to be women only who do these things (my husband does all of the cooking and shopping) but if WE start to place value on it it is a start. We are taught to strive for success in a tangible way in our careers so when we become mothers we are conflicted as that work seems less important or valued and it is definitely treated that way. I know many women who feel that all of the work they do at home is just assumed and taken for granted.
I agree that we have come a long way but I am concerned that the pendulum is now swinging back in the other direction and our girls are struggling to find their footing while maintaining their own identities. I mean, Brittany Spears and Lindsay Lohan are NOT role models I want for my daughter.