Urban Dads

"Hon, can you watch the kids while I get my hair done?"; "You got it babe."

"Hon, I’ve got a late meeting can you cook dinner on Tuesday?"; "My pleasure."

"Hon, do you mind spending a weekend with the kidlets while I jet-set off to NYC for my dad’s 60th?"; "Of course."

"Hon, can you do a guest post for my Juice site while we’re on vacation in St. Lucia?; "Urm…"

On that note, let me introduce myself. The oft blogged about, sometimes kvetched about; occasionally villified; "the Husband" – Gabriel.

The row upon row of shoes in Ali’s closet suddenly seem a lot larger than size 6 1/2 as I am faced with having to fill them. How does she do it? Two blogs; 3 kids; 2 jobs.. wow.

Anywho, grab a chair, pick a glass, let me mix you up a little something I’ve whipped together: 1 part Juice; 1 part Urban Moms; 1 shot of displaced Husband.

‘The Juice on Urban Dads’ aka things your significant other would never be caught dead admitting they like but if you can trick them into trying it out once they may just end up enjoying it more than you do.

1. Your music – Guys love Rock. They love Rap. They love Metal. They like letting you know this. It all comes from some deep dark place in the back of their brains where we keep our cave dwelling, fire lighting, animal hunting DNA.

Me bang drums. Me yell loud. Me like video with pretty girl in bikini. It’s what we listened to when we got our first car or while warming up for college sports or heard in our favourite war movie. It takes a big man to admit he likes his wife’s music. And that man is still hiding in shame. But the truth is, sometimes, when you’re not forcing it on us in that ‘oh, you have to listen to this new album I got’ kind of way – we may just occassionally tolerate your music. We may. We just might find ourselves humming it at work. Or singing it in the shower. Or downloading the album on iTunes.

Mat Kearney. Queens of the Stone Age. The Hives. Sarah McLaughlin. All artists I picked up from Ali. Not one when she asked me to listen to a song or album. Not one. I heard one on Rock Band. I heard  one play at the NHL All Star Game. I heard one in a movie. I heard one on Letterman. And every time I came back and said "Hon, I heard the most awesome singer/band today." And every time she said "You mean the one I played for you last month that you said ‘meh’ to? Here’s the album.". So keep it in mind. Let him think he found it first, and he may just dig it.

2. Movies – OK. When it comes to movies in general – I’m a guy’s guy. Indiana Jones. The Godfather. The Crow. Ransom. Blade. The list goes on.

But, you wouldn’t have to twist my arm to admit I really liked: West Side Story. Moulin Rouge. Across the Universe and a plethora of other so called ‘chick flicks’. For me, it’s an affinity for good music. So, I’ll totally put up with some shmutz if it’s a quality flick. You have to know your man. Some guys enjoy romantic comedies that err a little more on the side of romance and a little less on the side of comedy. Some will sit through anything if there’s a pretty girl on screen. Some just like girl movies for the heart warming stories (hi jack). You know what movies your man’s gonna hate – so don’t go there. But totally butter him with a little: ‘Hon, what about having a picnic dinner on the family room floor after the kids go to bed; lighting a fire (see #1 re: lighting fires); and snuggling up on the couch with some dessert and a movie?’ – and you’ve totally just suckered him into watching anything you feel like. Just don’t let him know you found it between Thelma & Louise  and Fried Green Tomatoes on your movie shelf. He may watch it. And, yes. He may just like it. And if no one else is around but the two of you. He may just admit it.

3. Books – some of the best books I’ve ever read were recommended by Ali. If you’re reading something you think your husband might enjoy DON’T start reading him passages from it that you think are funny. DON’T cry as you finish reading it in bed one night. DON’T tell him you love the way the lead character rediscovers herself through internal reflection and the rediscovery of a long last high school love. DO tell him that you think this book is awesome and if you know him as well as you think you do – he’d love it.

4. TV Shows – as you know Ali watches more hours of TV in a day than there are hours in a day. I’m not quite sure how she does it. But she does it. And along the way there has been plenty I’ve refused to watch. But I’ve been nabbed – hook, line and sinker into a whole bunch of ’em. Some to the point where I continue watching after she’s dropped off. Rome. America’s Next Top Model. Celebrity Apprentice. Arrested Development. Survivor (seasons 1 thru…). Lost. American Idol. Rock Band. The list goes on. They aren’t all shows aimed at the female demographic – but I think they’re all shows I started watching begrudgingly. No puck? No cleats? No swimsuit models? And you want me to watch it? Oh! I like this…

I think I see a theme forming here. Urban Dads like a lot of stuff Urban Moms like. We just (a) don’t want to let our big tough exteriors down (b) don’t like giving our spouse the satisfaction of knowing just how well they know us and (c) like thinking we discovered all good things on our own.

I’m off to the beach. Ttyl.