Last night I’d had enough.
I was done. My last bit of patience was used up.
I was so sick and tired of using “Christmas” to get my kids to behave.
They shouldn’t behave so they get gifts.
They should behave because it’s just what they’re supposed to do. The right thing is to be kind to each other.
They should behave because it’s just what they’re supposed to do. The right thing is to be kind to each other.
Lately Sean and I have been struggling with their behaviour. All of them.
Whining. Fighting. Yelling. Shouting. Not helping around the house. at. all.
NOT LISTENING to us. That’s the big one.
NOT LISTENING to us. That’s the big one.
I realized that “Tony Hawk can see everything you do” was just not working. They could care less that Tony Hawk was sitting under the tv staring at them. They were going to be jerks anyways…
So yes…last night I’d had enough. By the time I fought the last two into bed at 9:30pm I sat on the couch and reminded myself to just breath.
Sean arrived home from a Calgary business trip. He asked how the night went, knowing what we’ve dealt with lately. I told him.
We decided that they cannot be rude, disrespectful and ill behaved yet still expect to be given presents all weekend long.
Sure. I get just as excited as the kids about presents – but beyond that I love the traditions we share with family. Days filled with delicious food, yummy drinks and time with family.
For them it’s presents. That’s starting to really bug me.
So. They went to bed last night with this in our family room:
and they woke up to this:
Tony is there. The gifts are gone until further notice.
Until manners are being used. Until they start respecting each other and being the kind kids we know they are. Until attitudes are in check. Until they start following house rules and listening to Mommy and Daddy.
Yes. I know. To some it may still seem like a form of bribery. Maybe it is. But you cannot behave like an asshat and expect everyone to bestow gifts upon you.
Unless they smarten up, they will have to enjoy the 2 Christmas dinners that await them and be grateful for that. Because they won’t be opening any gifts.
Good for you. I remember one year my brother ripped the corner of all his gifts and my parents noticed on Xmas eve that he had done so. They were heartbroken, that he’d sneak a peek.
His were all gone in the morning too. Scary , but whoa– sends the correct message I think.
Christine I feel for you! I did just this same thing last year! It is hard to take a stand but stick to your guns it will pay off! Hope the behaviour improves in time. Good luck!
Christine, you are my hero!! I would have done the exact same thing – I haven’t because we don’t have any presents under the tree yet… But I will keep your idea well in mind. My two have been acting the same way, so I feel your pain. My answer to holiday stress is … Whisky Truffles 😀 I make these little melt in your mouth goodies from a melted Toblerone bar, Canadian Whisky, and some other little ingredients and boom! All holiday stress gone for a few moments, lol!! But seriously, I have lost count of the times I have said that Santa is always watching and that if they don’t smarten up, they will only get coal. Maybe if they kept acting up…where can I find some coal???
Way to go. Stick to your guns and don’t give on this. It will be the best lesson and best Christmas they’ve ever had.
I hear you! The week leading up to Halloween I was threatening them with no going out for Halloween! Now it’s switched to: “you’ll lose one gift for every bad deed”. Even that’s not working.
One thing we do which may work for you is to not put the gifts out until the night of the 24th (after they go to bed). We make it clear that Santa is still deciding if they have been naughty or nice and they will only find out on the morning of the 25th!
I applaud your decision – we need to reel our kids back in!
What happened this morning when they saw it??? Good for you! You are totally doing the right thing!
Good for you! I know that in my house the kids are just exhausted from the last 4 months of school and behaving all day there. The stress of Christmas just adds to it. My oldest said she hates Christmas, because of the cleaning which is funny, because really there isn’t any more.
Wow you know You are awesome!
you make it sound like overmedicating is a bad thing… 🙂
I love it
get them to sign a contract for the next 365 days of continued good behavior so that gifts will return
carrot on stick parenting better than bare bottom spaking with wooden spoon or mom overmedicating with chardonnay……….. xoxoxo
I feel like exactly the same kinds of things are happening at our house and I wasn’t sure if it was the approaching holidays, the stress of two weeks of houseguests that just left, or the myriad other reasons that this time of year gets to be crazy.
Like Jennifer noted above, I think that my kids definitely feed off of my stress and (OK, I’ll say it) disorganization right now. I’m so tired of using “Santa’s watching” (we don’t have a Tony) and like you, I expect them to behave just because it’s what you’re supposed to do.
I will be interested to hear how the next few days play out for you and your kids after that dramatic under-the-tree action! Keep us posted!
And I, too, am a little intimidated by Tony there. Sheesh! 🙂
Oooh. Awesome! Good for you. They won’t forget that soon. And Tony does look really upset.
I have to know what they said when they woke up and saw all of the gifts gone? How has behaviour been today?
Good for you, mom. I will definitely keep this in my back pocket for future.
i’m feeling intimidated by tony hawk right now, too! i don’t believe that what you did is bribery at all, it’s a massive wakeup call.
i saw a great picture recently…it’s in two halves, the first half is some starving children holding their hands out for a tiny portion of rice and the word underneath was “need” and the other half had some well fed people fighting over shopping carts and the latest toys and it was labelled “want”.
thought about pulling that trump card out and see what they say about that one!
Christine, you’re right to expect all of that from the kids, but just wanted to share that it’s not just your kids. I think sometimes this season brings out the worst in everyone. I know my kids feed off my stress I lead up to all of the gift prep, hosting, running around, etc. It’s the most wonderful time of the year yes…but also the most stressful. Late nights, lots of socializing, routines out the window. Deep breaths will get you through it…that and the reminder that you’ve got an amazing, wonderful family to celebrate with!
Nice!!! TAKE THE POWER BACK!!!! I love Tony sitting under the tree – he looks super pissed! How’d they react!?!?!
You are a goddess!
Good for you, lady. It’s a hard stance to take… honestly, I don’t even remember how to discipline my kids anymore without the “Santa is watching!” threats I feel like I need to utter daily… it’ll wake them up, I’m sure. Hang in there.
And don’t forget to breathe, doll. Namaste. xoxoxox