Tucker the Oddling

We have an absolutely beautiful Black Labrador Retriever. He is very handsome and affectionate and very, very poorly behaved.  As a lifetime dog owner, I know that the primary reason for a poorly behaved dog, is a poorly trained family.  And many of Tucker’s short comings are our fault. Mr. Husband very sweetly gave me Tucker for my 35th birthday. I believe it was to soften the blow of the dishwasher I also received, but it was a lovely gift. Included with the card was the caveat that it be understood that he would never have any responsibility for our new pet. He has held steadfast to this, including no desire to be part of the training process. 

I took Tucker to two sets of training courses. He was definitely a slow learner but he eventually started to get the hang of things. Unfortunately between 3 children who just wanted to play with him, a daily dog walker who didn’t quite follow all the same commands and a male authority figure who just expected a puppy to know what to do, Tucker and I were never totally successful in our training efforts.

This would probably have been annoying, but manageable if it weren’t for all of Tucker’s other quirks. He is allergic to grass, the touch of it. Itchy and frustrating if you are a dog, expensive and frustrating if you are responsible for said dog. He is a counter surfer. Nothing food related is safe on any surface in our house. He is also a forager and will happily spend his time digging through knapsacks and any plastic bag looking for snacks. In a house with 4 children who leave every food type imaginable in their school bags and their rooms, even though this is commonly and loudly known this is a no-no, there are ceaseless opportunities to reinforce this destructive behaviour.

With no apparent aversion to human snacks, he does have a funny tummy for dog food and can only eat lamb and rice combinations (the most expensive and least available type).

He has separation anxiety. He tears the house apart when he is left home and cries incessantly, barking and whining if I bring him along but tie him up outside a store to run an errand.

He is coperfiliac. I use that word instead of a definition because it is such a gross behaviour. Suffice it to say that Tucker has an appetite for the waste of other animals.

He should be walked 4 times a day, which equals at least 2-3 fights among the other partners who promised to assist in his care and stress and time squeezing for me.

I love Tucker. He is extremely affectionate in a bullying type of way. He is handsome and he loves to see me when I come home. But that whole thing about dogs being so great because they don’t talk back is a bit lost on me because of all his other special needs.

He is not allowed to run around at our cottage in Muskoka because he got into our neighbour’s shed when he was one and scared the owner causing her to fall on her knees. He is not allowed to run free at our cottage in Christie Lake because he steals food from the little kids who eat lunch on the picnic table. So even summer is not a huge treat for him, or me.

Two weeks ago, my cousin and her boyfriend, who have just bought a new house and are dog lovers themselves, took him for a holiday. I missed him immensely. The house seemed very empty and lonely when I came home, but it was also just as I left it. I found two missing hours in my day and over those two weeks with graduations, exams, report cards and sports finals, I was desperate for any spare minute.

Tucker is happily back home with me this morning, he is actually lying at my feet while I type this and although I am thrilled to be cuddling with him again, a part of me misses one less obligation. The cousins are happy to take him back for awhile. In truth, it would make life so much easier but I feel like sending out my dog is like sending out a child. He’s mine. I chose to have him. I love him and have raised him, I cannot just let him go live elsewhere when he becomes inconvenient…or can I?

The cousins love him too. He can run free in their home because they have no children and not much in the way of furniture. They have schedules which permit longer trips to the park and they are on the same team as far as discipline and training go.I haven’t asked, but I bet they even let him up on the bed.  If I were Tucker, I would prefer it there. If only I could ask him.