So there’s been a bit of theme around UrbanMoms the last couple of weeks….well maybe a dialogue between Shawn and Nancy – who both wrote about the top ten reasons it’s better to be the dad or the mom. People – how could I not respond with my top ten list of why it’s better to be BOTH!!!
10. The name. It’s just you. YOU decide. No guy wanting Peyton or Mats…or any other name associated with their current sports hero.
9. The sleep. For the last week, Will and I have climbed in the tub at 7pm and both been in bed at 7:30. I didn’t have to feel guilt for not staying up and spending time with my partner, I just went to bed.
8. The birth. You get to experience it like all moms…AND you get to have your sister in the room without having to explain that hers is actually the face that will calm and relax you – not your husbands.
7. The clothes. The kid can wear pink to school on ‘pink day’ without any debate.
8. The snip. To circumcise or not to circumcise. Many of my friends had great discussions with their spouses on this. Should he look like daddy or not? Well…he’ll never look like me – so my decision ruled.
6. The favourite. It’s always you….there are no ‘I want daddy’ or ‘I want mommy’…he just wants me…all right sometimes his aunt.
5. The benefits. I get ALL the benefits on Shawn and Nancy’s lists….but all to myself…(well except the orgasm that Shawn brings up….that would have just been awkward in the doctors office).
4. The post-birth sex life. You see – this was all on my terms, I decided when I was ready and gave ‘er a shot. I didn’t have to wait for my wife to be ready…or to keep putting my husband off if I wasn’t.
3. The family. I could have my family in the ultrasounds, in the amnio, in the delivery room, overnight at the hospital and now over whenever I want. No debates on who Will will spend his first Christmas with or which in-law is the better babysitter.
2. The boy. It’s all up to me. The decisions – the way I raise him….it’s all up to me. If something goes wrong, I have no one to blame but me. Get what I’m saying?? (i.e. no fights)
1. The hugs and kisses. They are not divided…they are mine ALL mine. And I give and receive with abandon.
So these are a few of mine…..AND I’ll add for those of you who may not know me too well yet….this list, well suffice it to say SOME but not all…are very tongue in cheek. You think about which! Any other singles out there who want to add…OR…any of you that can hanker a guess at some which I may have missed???
Thanks for the two #8s…I was going to change but now it goes along with some comments…so I’m just going to leave it.
I totally agree that the #8snippage is a personal decision. Whenever people ask my opinion on that one, I always add – it’s whatever’s right for you….
and thanks for the single-mom-ity praise Ali…and the new word – I’m getting a ton this week!
Also, there are two #8s.
Only keeping mum on #8 because I don’t think it’s a topic to be debated. I think it’s a personal decision that is personal for every family. and whatever you decide FOR YOU is the right decision FOR YOU. (Not the reason you were thinking, eh, Christine?)
Oh God! Eyelids that’s funny!
And Ali – I bet I know why you’re keeping mum on #8, although I think it’s pretty awesome.
FIRSTLY, I must applaud your single-mom-ity. (it’s totally a word)
You are amazing.
That being said, I WISH I had been the only one picking my kids’ names. Chef dad was suuuuuuuuper picky and needed to have too much of a say, methinks.
Also, I will totally keep my mouth closed on #8. 🙂
Nanc…we have WAY more in common…I agree!
Hahahah – YES – we will debate Erin. #8 I’m assuming I can guess your stance and it would be the same as mine. My ex, when we talked about having kids and the snip, wisely said ‘we need eyelids don’t we’….made sense to me! And yeah #6 may be one of those ones where my tongue was firmly planted…
Great post, Sara! Love it 🙂
A little secret? I am BOTH as well only not on purpose the way you were. We have more in common than you may think, Sara. Great to have you put this together and just the greatest thing that you were brave enough to go for this.
Awesome!
RE: #8… are you suggesting that my attempts to soothe and calm my wife weren’t effective? I’ll have you know that I do a really good “no honey, that’s not gross at all” face.
Love this post Sara!
Hmmmm, which ones are tongue in cheek…I’m guessing. Let’s discuss that on a real night out!
# 8, if we had had boys, there would be no discussion, period. Never, ever, ever engage John in a discussion about the snip. You will regret it. I’ll let you wonder which way he swings on that one. Hee hee!
#4 – “What chu talkin’ about Willis?”
# 6 – The favourite….I secretly love it AND hate it. I birthed Clingons (not to be confused with Klingons).
I love this post! LOVE!
Although on “pink day” – Sean actually went to Lands End (at Sears) and bought the boys pink shirts.
Oh wait – you have two #8’s. The first one? Sister in the room? I had my sis with me and Sean sat in the corner until I commanded him over to me. Funny how I needed my sister more during my labour than Sean. I needed him when I delivered.
I agree with Carol – you have broken the tie and win the debate!
Tee-hee Sara… fun post!!
It’s funny. I have heard that #8 about The Snip so many times but I just don’t get it. When he is little it won’t look anything like daddy’s anyway. And then by the time it might, AS IF they are standing around comparing them?! Just weird.
Great post, Sara. Thanks for sharing your perspective!
Sara, what an amazing post. You made an excellent case for being a single mom. I believe you have clearly emerged as the winner of the UrbanMoms debate.