Tomorrow night is my 10 year law school reunion. 10 years. I can’t believe it. I attended the University of Toronto Law School from 1995-1998 and it was three years of hard work, great friendships, lots of fun, and most of all….love. I met my husband there: three weeks into the first year we became friends while volunteering for the same legal clinic.
Crazy, huh? Two people in their early twenties from opposite ends of the country with seemingly little in common. Flash forward to 2008: a house on a cul de sac, three beloved kids and a marriage that I treasure with all my heart. Who knew? Not me, that’s for sure.
I’m looking forward to tomorrow night, though it’s resurrected some deep-lying issues within me. Ten years ago, I was an immensely driven, career-oriented woman, eager to face the world and make my mark on Canada’s legal scene. I was about to begin my career at a top-notch corporate law firm in Toronto and nothing was going to stop me.
During those ten years, my life changed remarkably: I lost my mother – my guiding light, my best friend, my protector – it took years to overcome that blow, and I emerged another version of myself – less carefree, less focused on career, more focused on rebuilding the familial security net I had lost; I had three children – my career became an afterthought, second to my responsibilities as a wife, daughter, and mother.
Somewhere, however, that driven women lurks within me. Goals that were not achieved, blurred by life’s other responsibilities, still push through my psyche from time to time. I wonder what impact tomorrow night will hold, when I’m again in that environment, those people, who defined a different chapter of my life. I’m eager and excited to see old friends. I’ll let you know how it all goes.
Here’s a picture of me, with some dear friends, from 1996, our first year of law school
And here’s one of my (now) husband and I from our law school graduation in 1998:
you know what, i had a great time. it was a different mix of people than i expected – my closest friends weren’t there but that was okay b/c i see them frequently anyway – it was a big, warm fuzzy reminder of those beautiful years. i’m glad i went. I didn’t feel insecure or underachieving – everyone ended up somewhere good but different than what we all thought.
Did you have a good time?
I used to really, really beat myself up about how I let my younger self down – and then I met some of the people again who I knew when I was younger and they all had ended up in different places than they expected. Very soon, I’m going to come to the end of my days with young children at home and it’s sort of a bit scary and a bit exciting to think about what might come next.
Amreen, I cried when I read this. You couldn’t have summed it up better. I have been to the odd seminar/conference since I gave up my career to stay at home full time with my boys, & every time my mind starts whirring with all of that knowledge that has been filed somewhere in the recesses of my brain. It is invigorating, but also a bit scary to think “what next?” I love staying home with my boys, & wouldn’t do anything else, but I also long for that part of my brain to be active again. It is a constant push & pull, that there is no right or wrong answer to.
Have a great time at the reunion. Enjoy every minute of it!!
Hope it’s a great time at the reunion! I’m sure it will feel incredible to be surrounded by those from that part of your life.
I completely understand where you are in your life – I, too, like many moms, set aside the career to focus on being a wife and mom. But, I still always feel that teeny spark inside that inspired that ambition way back when. I’ve just started reading a book called The Ten Year Nap, by Meg Wolitzer, about the dilemmas middle-class mothers face. I can’t wait to see how these moms shift from the being-at-home years back into career life, in whatever form it takes.
Okay, enough rambling. Have a great time at the event and looking forward to hearing how it went!