This Too Shall Pass

This post and the accompanying picture have been contributed by a fellow urban mom and urbanmoms.ca member.

A friend commented recently that I seemed remarkably calm in the midst of what is now my hurricane-like family. Adding a new baby to our household, which already included very busy six- and four-year old boys, could have sent me over the edge, but it hasn’t. I’ve spent the last few days trying to figure out what has kept me calmer through this baby’s first few months of infancy, hoping that any insight gleaned might help other new moms.

I think what has made me a calmer and less anxious mother this time around is the perspective of having been through this twice already and having seen how fast six years passes.

When my eldest was five weeks old, he fell out of his stroller and landed on the cement (another lesson I can pass on…those seat belts in strollers are important!). I spent the drive down to the doctor’s office in tears. By the time I got there I was semi-hysterical and I told the doctor “I don’t think I can do this”. I’d spent five weeks obsessing over my son’s every feeding, sleep, bowel movement and spit-up and I’d had it. Mothering was way too much work.

Six years later, Liam has survived that fall and many others. Looking back, I realize that when I was timing those midnight feedings (with a stopwatch!) I was missing out on hours that I could have spent enjoying my newborn and remarking on what a miracle he was.

Six years have flown by. No amount of worry about when my boys would walk or talk would have changed the outcome. I have two amazing, strong boys who can walk, run, play soccer and hockey. I have incredible boys who can tell imaginative stories and have to be told to quit talking and do a little eating at every meal.

I spent a lot of time researching, reading and talking to other moms about when to start giving rice cereal, vegetables, and fruit. I followed the same schedule with each of my sons, and now I have one son who is willing to try any food I set in front of him and loves his vegetables. I have another who considers french fries and cucumber the only acceptable vegetables and refuses to eat anything new. The obsessing on my part didn’t affect either outcome.

Perspective shows me not to obsess over the details, but to try to look at the big picture. Recently the baby has developed a nasty habit of waking frequently for little feeds from about 3am on. I feel confident that this is just a phase and that I won’t be a walking zombie forever, and I’m trying to spend those frequent feedings enjoying my baby and remarking on this latest miracle.

Jennifer lives in Toronto and is the mother of 2 boys and recently added a little girl.  She is currently on maternity leave and an active member of urbanmoms.ca.  If you or anyone you know would like to contribute an article or story to urbanmoms.ca, please send us an email.