According to Dictionary.com, there are 7 definitions for the noun "mess."
| 1. | a dirty, untidy, or disordered condition. |
| 2. | a person or thing that is dirty, untidy, or disordered. |
| 3. | a state of embarrassing confusion. |
| 4. | an unpleasant or difficult situation. |
| 5. | a dirty or untidy mass, litter, or jumble. |
| 6. | a group regularly taking their meals together. |
| 7. | the meal so taken. |
And in George Carlin fashion, I can apply all of them to my world. My life itself is not a mess. Not in the dysfunctional, unhappy, unsatisfying sense. But my surroundings can certainly apply anywhere on a scale of 1 thru 7 depending on the occasion. It’s a bit of an anomaly that such a relatively organized person can exist in such chaos, and I’m beginning to realize that even I may have reached my limit. I have that same feeling I had at the beginning of high school and then again as I entered university. I made it through Grades 1 to 8 with relatively little effort and higher than mediocre success and the same was true of high school. I was admitted to the university of my choice without too much stress, although at that time, Queen’s certainly wasn’t demanding a 90% average for Arts. In both instances, I was subjected to a rude awakening. The laissez-faire approach I took to school needed a boot in the butt. In high school, my parents were right beind me giving the boot momentum, but in university, it took me a few years to figure it out on my own and actually maximize my time and get the most out of the experience.
Now I’m beginning to realize that the methods of organization and time management that served me well in my thirties are waning. The clutter and chaos that permeates every room in our house is starting to suck on my energy. I’ve never been much for feng shui or minimalism or flow or any of those things but I do know that I spend so much time either moving some things around looking for others, or just staring at piles that need to be organized, that I am zapping energy from my ability to actually do something about it. I am not one of those people who know how to put things away. I never pick the right cupboards for the right dishes, or dry goods and no matter how many hours I spend organizing my beautiful new built-ins, they always look like someone randomly dropped a load of paperbacks on the shelves and wandered away.
My bedroom closet is full of clothes I know I’ll wear again "one day" even though every magazine tells me to give them away. The laundry room is never without a pile and in the corner is an entire laundry basket full of single socks, a by product of three children who live in two houses. My storage closet is full of baby clothes I can’t bring myself to give away just in case we adopt a girl. The Gaffer’s room is stuffed with clothes she has not yet grown into because of my love for second hand baby clothing sales. Those clothes are stuffed into a pine hutch that should be in dining room but hasn’t been moved yet. The dry sink that once doubled as her change table is in the dining room and currently houses all of the clothes that fit her. The dresser that is in her room is full of dining room and kitchen accessories. The cupboard under the bathroom sink literally explodes with notions and lotions and bubbles and bath things that get used occasionally. My car and my desk at work are just as overloaded and disorganized.
I know I could call in a de-clutter organizer person, but I also know that they will tell me to get rid of it all and I just can’t bring myself to do it…yet. I still have notes my best friend and I passed to each other in high school. They are old and silly but do they ever make us laugh. Especially her caricatures. But my brain and vision are so full of stuff that I no longer have room for details. I have become my mother. If an event wasn’t on her calendar in the kitchen, it didn’t exist. Even when it is on my calendar, there is a chance I’ll forget to look at it. I write shopping lists and then forget them at home. I write to-do lists and lose them under all the papers I haven’t dealt with.
So, on Easter Sunday, as I begin to pack up all the detritous I have accumulated at the ski chalet in 3 short months, I am making a spring cleaning resolution. I am going to try and clean up some of my junk and see if I can create some space in my mind and my soul. Space to let the sun shine in and re-energize me so the next time I feel tired and lost it will be because I have been cleaning and tidying all day and not because I have spent the day missing appointments and only buying half the groceries I need because I have been so overwhelmed just thinking about all my messes. With this last sentence I am pledging to myself and all of you that by the next blog, I will have neatly and beautifully arranged my new built-ins, even if it requires hundreds of pages of decorating magazine help to show me how to do it. If I manage to remember the shopping list that reminds me to buy a new digital camera, I will even share a picture with you!
Ahhh! Clutter! I’m actually more like the NY Times article whereas my husband is like LoriD above. Funny to hear it from her perspective, ’cause from my side it just feels like complain, complain, complain about how messy our house is, and it is actually VERY neat! I think he wants to live in an IKEA showroom (notice how they don’t have clothes in the dressers, movies in the entertainment units, books on the shelves or food in the kitchens?). Mess stresses me out even when there isn’t much of it, because I dread HIS reaction to it. Maybe I need to make him mad and he’ll start cleaning (like Ali’s husband…)
Say yes to mess…here’s a link to the NY Times “yest to mess” article from last December, warning – you have to go thru the signing up rigamarole: http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F20E1EFA3B550C728EDDAB0994DE404482 to read it, but here’s a great quote from it:
“Studies are piling up that show that messy desks are the vivid signatures of people with creative, limber minds (who reap higher salaries than those with neat “office landscapes”) and that messy closet owners are probably better parents and nicer and cooler than their tidier counterparts. It’s a movement that confirms what you have known, deep down, all along: really neat people are not avatars of the good life; they are humorless and inflexible prigs, and have way too much time on their hands.”
Great minds have messy desks.
Enough said.
Being neat and tidy is SO against my nature! However, it all starts to close in on me and then I get an overwhelming panicked feeling. Spring cleaning here we come!
I read once that a good approach to de-cluttering is to make a list of areas that need to be decluttered (e.g. dining room table, bookshelves, etc.) Pick one area a day (or other interval) and deal with just that area. Don’t shuffle the mess/junk to another area, but deal with it right away. Then, once the area is done, treat it like it’s Penicillin and don’t let the mess infect it again. As you make your way down the list, you’ll have more and more Penicillin areas and things will start to come together.
The biggest problem (for me anyway) is that I can be neat and tidy, but my husband and kids aren’t as concerned about the appearance of the house. My husband is constantly annoyed that I can’t seem to sit and relax, but I can’t relax when the house is in chaos. My office at work is my escape – it’s all mine and people alway comment on how clean and tidy it is!
oh – i hear you on the clutter! i look around at the piles and piles of stuff in my house and wonder – where can all this go? however, be reassured, the ny times just did a piece on productivity and fulfillment which said that those people with “messy desks” are happier and more productive people!