you would think that a person could make a decision and be on her merry way. you would think that people would say, "i hope you’ll be happy." and leave it at that.
but you, like me, are naive.
people, especially in my community, always need something to talk about. someone’s out of job, someone’s maybepossiblysheloookslikeshe’s pregnant, someone doesn’t have enough sex at home, someone has too much sex at home, someone just got a huge bonus at work. someone bought a new car ohtheymustbegettingmoneyfromtheirparents, someone doesn’t know how to discipline her child, someone disciplines too much, someone’s nanny is pregnant, someone lets her nanny make too many decisions. there’s always something. there’s always a story.
it seems that my story about switching school has become the story of the week. very few people are willing to say, "good for you. i hope you’ll be happy." i would like to personally thank those people who have said that. you know who you are. they call them friends.
the gossipers fall into different categories.
a) the ones who need to spread news. they want to be the first to tell people, "did you hear…..?" they want you to know that they knew first. before you.
b) the ones who are taking it personally. as if i’m saying to every parent who will continue to send his or her child to the school, "your choices are bad." WRONG. i’ve said from the beginning that i think it’s a great, great school. and i’ve been quite happy. and yes, i DO think that it’s the right school for many, many of my friends. it’s just not the right school for me. it’s not a personal attack on your decisions. school is a very very personal choice. it can’t be the same for everyone.
c) the people who like to stir the pot. they call them shit disturbers. people who barely know me, or people who read my blog (but in public pretend like they barely know who i am), or people who just want to stir up trouble.
to all those people out there…since you aren’t coming to ME for information…you are just gathering it from all the gossipers out there…there’s something that i’d like to clear up. the skirt incident at the school on that particular friday was not the reason i’m pulling my kids out of the school. it was the straw that broke the camel’s back…so to speak. we had made up our minds – well, 99.9% of our minds…and this was just something i was upset about and it threw me over the edge.
was i being sensitive? perhaps. it doesn’t matter. it’s not the point. do i understand the school policy? of course. which is why, even though i don’t practice it at home, i always put on a skirt – for two years – to drive carpool because i respect the school policy.
so…to the one particular person out there…who was talking about me at the bakery on Friday…comparing the skirt incident to whether or not you would wear a skirt to the Western Wall in Israel makes NO SENSE because i WAS following school policy. i followed it for YEARS. it was a one-time splip up and the person who said something to me should have known that. AND – my dear, if you have something to say, come to me personally and talk to me about it. to my face. don’t talk to other people about it in a bakery.
and with that, i will get off my soapbox and return to my daily life.
song of the day: You’re Beautiful by James Blunt.
come on over and check me out at my other site today where i close the book on the south beach diet. wahoo!
vote for me at the Canadian blog awards!i’m nominated in the Best Family Blog category!
I am dying to know more details – gah….how bad is that???? What was the school?
Not having grown up in TO, and being in the same community as you, I am a bit oblivious at times to the gossipy side of things. I am so thrilled to be in such a large community (Vancouver’s is not so big) that I forget about the other stuff.
Probably have been the subject of gossip myself without realising it.
I think it is too bad that you have to defend yourself like this.
I don’t live in T.O .. so I have NO idea about the school you are talking about, and frankly, it doesn’t matter to me personally, and I wonder why it would to others. You are right, it IS such a personal choice.
I’m very proud of you Ali, for making choices that are the best for your family. Your children are very very lucky to have smart parents!
Shame on the gossips .. why don’t they get on with their own lives?!
I’m so proud of you for standing up and speaking out for yourself and for all us, who may not have been able to stand up for ourselves. So thank you for being you – you’ve just shown how one voice can make a difference. Keep being proud of who you are – because you are a truly ‘fabulous’ person 🙂
Ali, this has gone from the sublime to the ridiculous – geez, sounds like you live in a bloody little shtetl rather than a suburb in Toronto – you know what? It ain’t any different here!!!
Seriously, though, just tell those busy bodies to MYOB and if they are gonna gossip about something which so totally doesn’t involve them, they obviously need to a) get a life b) get a grip.
Like I always say, “Get Scotch-guarded” and “Water off a duck’s back”, those yentas will find something else to talk about tomorrow :((( (pity the next poor person…)
Ali – you love your family and that is enough for me to know that whatever decisions you make for them are the right ones. Good for you regardless of your reasons. Keep being true to you and ignore the rest.
Oh, I hate GOSSIPS! 😉
Does this jealous blabber mouth read this?
Simply, all you have to do is start a new rumor about someone else being pregnant and the gossip will go elsewhere.
I kid, really.
Seriously though, this will all pass very soon – you’re simply the hot button topic of Toronto, for some reason. (you popular Martells!) As long as you are happy/confident in your decision, thats what counts. You have no obligation to defend your choices to anyone.
auntie s – i could kiss you right now, so, thanks.
how come so many people are going to the bakery and NONE of them are bringing me cookies???
Clearly I was at the bakery too early this week-but funny-even I heard some parts of the discussion from others later on. So here: Good for you for doing what you believe is right for you and your kids. We need a licence to drive but not for having kids. There are no easy rules or clear handbooks to follow and we all just try to make the right decision as we go along. Heck, I’m a working mom-that too seems to be unsupported by the school or its parent body!