When I was pregnant, I thought very little about the newborn stage for the Boy. It seemed that everything I read focused on babies after the first 6 weeks. So, I’ve taken it upon myself to write a survival guide for those first 6 weeks. Because, for me at least, they were the toughest 6 weeks of my life. Granted, I had never even held a newborn baby before I had the Boy. I had never changed, bathed, burped, fed, or done anything with a brand new baby. My poor little baby- I had no idea what I was doing! Although I’m sure it’s a bit different the second time around, here’s what I would go back and tell myself (as if I would listen, though…)
1. You don’t know what tired is– until you have a new born. I used to need very little sleep to make it through the day. Especially in University. I thought I was set. Not so much. There are no words to describe how tired I was in those first 6 weeks. Honestly. And for the record, you can’t “bank” sleep by sleeping a lot before you give birth. I tried- I failed.
2. Not all babies eat and sleep– Everyone told me that brand new babies eat, sleep, eat, sleep, poop. I thought, how hard can that be? Well, the Boy is never one to follow the status quo, so instead his schedule was more like: eat, throw-up, cry, cry, sleep???, please SLEEP!, eat, cry, throw-up... you get the point.
3. Just say no to visitors– It sounds great to have lots of people visiting you, holding your baby and telling you how cute he is. But, unless they are prepared to wash your floors, clean your dishes, or let you sleep, now is not the time. Now is not the time for long visits either. When I was pregnant, I read about someone who put a sign on their door saying “All visits will be limited to 1/2 hour. Please respect this limit”. At the time, I thought it was foolish. Once I had the baby, not so much!
4. If someone wants to bring you food- say YES– and ask them to leave it on your doorstep. See above if you’re wondering why.
5. HEMORRHOIDS– I have never had them. I never want to have them again. OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW. Ask for some ice after giving birth. You’ll thank me.
6. Sometimes you tear– And it can make walking very very hard. It took me the full 6 weeks to walk properly and I am not exaggerating. Take it easy and don’t do more walking then necessary.
7. Put things together BEFORE you have the baby– Don’t spend your extremely exhausting moments arguing over how to assemble the baby swing. There will be plenty of other things to fight over- trust me.
8. Hold your baby as much as you can– Now that the Boy is getting so much bigger, I really miss holding that little bundle of new baby goodness that he used to be. They really do grow so fast so enjoy them while they’re tiny!
9. Not everything is instinctual– Get help. I thought I would just figure everything out, but I didn’t. I thought I would just KNOW what to do, but I didn’t. Don’t be afraid to ask for help/advice/a shoulder/an ear, whatever you need. It’s a hard 6 weeks when you try to go it alone!
Yeah, the first six weeks is an overwhelming time filled with love, joy, exhaustion, soreness, leaking everything, tears, and so very many smiles… There is nothing else in life like it!
Great post. It’s so hard to become a mom. Even after tons of research!
For me, with twins, it was eight or nine months of (insert exclamation here). Our girls both had “colic”, for lack of a better word, and cried from 5 or 6 pm until 12 or 1 am. It was pure hell! We did not eat. My mom helped out when she could (a lot but she had to sleep over). We did not have a community to help us. I would have loved visitors for even for 1/2 hour (never got one) or food dropped off. I was extremely sleep deprived for 2 1/2 years until I finally night weaned. Now, I’m only somewhat sleep deprived (girls turned 3 yesterday).
I’m thinking of a list for us, maybe for my first multiples blog post, and it would involve people being here and cooking and cleaning for us a lot.
I should mention I live in a very small community and I know that in larger communities the multiple births clubs are very helpful. Here, we live more than 100 km away from one another…isolation was a real issue for me.
I wonder how much new mom’s really want to know…would they ever have kids?
I cried a lot!
Once again, I enjoyed your post.
I found it helpful to freeze as much food as possible before I gave birth.
Freeze soups, casseroles, tomato sauce, more soups, stews etc.
I also found it helpful to sleep when the baby slept. Not easy to accomplish but I tried my best-est.
Very glad to know that I’m not the only one that cried (ok, I cried a lot) out of being overwhelmed those first 6 weeks!!
Also VERY glad to know it’s different with #2…gives all us first-timers hope;)
You’re 100% right on all of this!! Especially #4. We had three great friends bring us meals the first three days home from hospital. I cannot say enough about how wonderful that was…the leftovers got us through many a late night 🙂
Great post, Sarah and SO true! For me it was practically the first 6 months, not weeks. I was beyond exhausted, he didn’t sleep, he ate ALL THE TIME so I never had a break, I had unrealistic expectations (of him and myself), I was totally and completely overwhelmed.
The visitor thing is so true. My sister was there when my in-laws “popped by” for a visit. I simply could not entertain them when I was in pure survival mode. After an hour I disappeared upstairs with my crying baby. As I sat there holding him I burst into tears myself which I am sure could be heard my everyone. Thankfully my sister got all “sister defensive” on my behalf and told them that the visit was over and they would have to leave.
I never felt this way with baby #2. Partly because I was used to lack of sleep and my role as mom but part of it was because I was not afraid to set limits. Everyone was happier!