Last night our good friends Kenny and Robin got married. Finally.
Kenny and the husband grew up together and have stayed friends over the years. We met Robin several years ago and thought they were great for each other. And we waited. And waited. And waited. For them to get engaged.
I apologize that you will have to wait until tomorrow to see the pictures and to get the lowdown on the wedding. I got home late, and woke up at 7:52 this morning, and since I start work at 8:00, so…I’m sure you can forgive me for not uploading my photos yet. (side note: I did make it out of the house my 8:20…but I did have to put my make-up and deodorant on in the car…so if you see me today and I look like I was shot with Homer Simpson’s make-up gun, please forgive and forget.)
Anyway, point of my story is that last night another of the husband’s friends from his childhood (seriously, it was like an episode of “this is your life”), Meira, was there. I adore Meira and am always happy to see her and even though it’s only about once or twice a year, our conversations seem to just pick up where they left off.
Last night we spoke about everything. Our kids (her baby was born one week before Isabella) our husbands. Our post-pregnancy selves. Birth control. Work. And, a timely issue for us this week, schools.
She has friends who told her, after their toddler was accepted into the Heschel School in New York, that they were elated. “It’s like she got into Harvard!” we are talking about preschool here. Preschool. I am so glad I don’t like in NYC.
I think it’s safe to say that in the Toronto jewish school system, if you are willing to pay your tuition on time, you are likely to get into the school of your choice. But, I would recommend sending your deposit early – as in, like, yesterday. For next year.
It’s amazing, though, that if you are Jewish, in whatever big city you are in – Toronto, New York, Chicago, Los Angeles – picking the right school for your children can be an incredibly daunting task. There are so many things to consider. Academic. Social. Religious. Location. Tuition (although they are all pretty much obscene).
We began looking into schools for our progeny shortly after Emily was born. I guess we should consider ourselves lucky…we were only torn between two schools. In new york, it could have been 10. Each school had its pros and cons. And we thought we probably would have been happy at either. At the end of the day, we chose the more religious of the two, for two reasons: a) most of Emily’s friends at the time were going there – so we know she’d be okay socially (although, my first-born, heaven help her, is a natural leader, and makes friends easily, so I have no worries about her socially) and b) this particular school had a Hebrew immersion program for jk and sk. We loved this. The best way to learn a language is to throw a young child straight into it. And last year we watched Emily enter JK knowing very little Hebrew and ‘graduate’ jk able to carry on a conversation with an adult. It was fascinating, to say the least.
Over the last coupe of years, though, there have been some issues that have come up that lead both me and the husband to think that maybe we didn’t make the right decision. Maybe this wasn’t the best school for our children. We revisted the pros and cons of each school, and thought it over, and discussed with parents in both schools. Long story short. We are switching our kids in September.
One small incident recently became the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. The school policy, mothers who pick up their children at carpool, must adhere to the school dress code, and come in a skirt. No pants. No shorts. Even though this isn’t my religious adherence – I wear pants, unlike many of the mothers in the school – I understood that this was school policy and made sure to either be wearing a skirt on carpools days, or that I had a skirt in my glove compartment, that I could throw on. I did this all last year, and the year before. Some of the teachers and the mothers teased me about the skirt that I threw on for carpool.
Last week, on a Friday, it wasn’t my carpool day, but I had to switch. I forgot about it and was wearing pants. And had no skirt in my car. So, I ran into the schoolyard and quickly gathered the kids so I could make a run for it. As I was turning to leave, the head of the preschool stopped me in my tracks, looked at me and said, quite rudely, “you know you really need to be wearing a skirt.” I was taken aback. And went fire engine red. This woman knows me. She’s seen me do carpool many many times over the past few years. She didn’t need to tell me this in front of dozens of children and parents and teachers. She knows I’m aware of the school policy and that obviously this was an isolated incident. She handled it badly. Embarrassed me. I called the husband right away and said, “no more hemming and hawing (I’m in love with this expression…I don’t even know if I’m saying it correctly…)…I’ve made up my mind.”
There are many reasons we are switching them. It’s not just one. And it certainly isn’t because I was humiliated in the schoolyard. And I’ll gladly share them. I’m not shy about it. I believe there will be some people who are shocked by this news. And some people who aren’t the least bit surprised.
i’m hoping for the best. i’m hoping that we are making the right decision. i think that we are. and this new school, Associated, is welcoming us with open arms. and great news! my kids have been accepted. it’s almost like they’ve gotten into Harvard. almost.
song of the day: Girl Inform Me by the Shins.
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Kath, i hear you.
i mean, you’re talking to someone who sendsher kids to private school in the morning and public school in the afternoon. and i love the public school.
for me, jewish day school is just a fundamental part of being a traditional jew. it’s something i did. it’s something teh husband did. it’s something our parents did.
i have nothing against public school – actually, am all for it. and i am not under the impression that private=better 🙂
Well, I’ll throw in my dissenting opinion 😉
I went to public school. So did almost every single person I know. When I went to university, I rubbed elbows with lots of kids from the best private schools in the country and, mostly, I outperformed them academically.
I am also a teacher, working PT for a public school board. I believe the public schools in Canada are the foundation on which our society is built. Not that there are not bad public schools (or, more specifically, bad PS teachers) out there, ’cause there are, but this is – by and large – not the norm. We are incredibly lucky to have such a superior public education system.
Now, some parents (seems like your case) are drawn to private schools because they operate in a niche educational market, e.g. a specific religion or language immersion that isn’t offered through the public school system. But just be careful of the trap that many parents fall into of believing that a small student-teacher ratio, a uniform and a tuition cheque necessarily equals a better education.
Okay, stepping down off the soap-box. Thanks for listening!
You got me curious here, Ali…we only have 1 Jewish school here in Perth, but it consistently tops (or close to it) the high school leaver’s exams every year (this is a BIG deal in Oz and all the results are all over the papers).
Here is the link:
http://www.carmel.wa.edu.au/
The fees are probably less than, say, for a private school in Canada because private schools in Australia are funded by the government partially (like Jeremy’s Catholic school).
Move to Perth LOL!
Just wanted to respond to Haley here. Do you really need to put your kids down at birth for schools in Toronto?
When we lived in another part of Perth (much further from the city where the public schools suck), I actually put Jeremy down at birth for the private Lutheran school which is the ONLY Lutheran school in Perth (and was close to our home at the time).
OMG I am reading that back now, how scary was I LOL?
I hear ya. ALL everyone talks about here is: a) real estate b) their children’s school(s).
TBH, it is all OTT IMHO…..I went to public school allmy life (primary, high school, university) and I didn’t do so badly really. AND I never lived in a chi-chi neighbourhood either (just normal lower to middle class).
But yes, I have got caught in the trap as well, sigh. My son attends a Catholic primary school (we aren’t Catholic) as it is a small school (with only 250 students K-7) so one class for each grade. We pay a piddly $400 a year for the pleasure, but still had to go through a rigorous interview and selection process (i.e. interview by principal, interview by priest, reference letters, etc.). For my second son, however, we only had to see the principal as siblings are automatically admitted even if there are CAtholic children on the waiting list. I can tell you the public primary schools in this area are quite good due to the demographic but I wanted something more intimate yet structured for Jeremy. Am not hung up on the Catholic religion thing (as we are Lutheran) but it is fine by me.
Sorry I haven’t “value added” here really – what annoys me for you is how you were treated. And why do women have to wear skirts?I am assuming this is an Orthodox Jewish school (forgive my ignorance).
Wow! I can’t believe she humiliated you like that. Well, then again, I totally can. Because I bet you looked totally gorj. So…jealous much? Seriously, I bet that’s what it was. I’ve already booked the monkey in her school — pretty much, right when she was born I called the school of choice and sent in my costly deposit. It is crazy. But. whatevs. It’s worth it. 🙂 Congrats on making the switch. I hear your new school of choice is excellent. 🙂
As you know already, we’re doing the same thing here- picking which school to send the boys to. I hate being a grown-up sometimes. We have our first (of many, many, many) parent teachers conferences tonight! I’m not old enough to go to those my kid! What the heck?!?