Oh how I’ve missed you. I missed my keyboard. I’ve missed my outlet of writing. I think I need it to save my sanity – seriously.
Will and I are back from Texas y’all! Wanna see my tan? It would only be frost bite lines – it was effing cold. It was a great trip. Will got to spend quality time with his Texas cousin Charlotte and my sister Sherrill….and their dog Bella who was a fan favourite (or rather her bed was):
I learned a few things on this trip:
1. I no longer want to fly anywhere that Porter doesn’t.
2. Poop as a finger paint is NOT what I wanted for Christmas.
3. I may not like Christmas but religious Christmas carols…well, I admit it, I want to belt them out like Celine Dion ballads.
4. I maybe 41 years old but I will always feel like the baby sister.
5. I will never leave Target without spending at least $200 on crap I don’t need.
The biggest thing I learned is this. No matter how I try. No matter what mantras I chant in my head. No matter if I’m at home or if I’m away. Christmas depresses me. Did I get joy from seeing Will open his presents? Yes. Did I get misty as he sat through the whole Christmas Story and clapped at all the songs? Absolutely. But my heart was still heavy and tears were always a breath away. I wish I could explain it but I can’t. I do hope it will change as he gets older so I don’t have to always be the Debbie Downer to his Christmas experience.
Now New Years approaches. We are heading out to a friends for the afternoon and dinner tomorrow – I’m looking forward to it so much. I’ve never been much of a resolution person but this year, I’m going to try. I need it. I’m tired of feeling down. The theme for 2011 is Letting Go.
So here’s my list…
1. Let go of CRAP! Declutter!!! My house – my head…all of it. Look out Goodwill…I’m coming for you! And I may need to go back to my psychiatrist too.
2. Let go of 15 year old bras and get some that fit. Check – going on Jan. 3rd for proper fitting.
3. Let go of past mistakes and forgive myself for them.
4. Let go with my kid. Remember he’s two. Remember I’m not. Breathe.
5. Let go of the notion that I don’t need makeup. Maybe if I start looking better, I’ll feel better. Didn’t Billy Crystal say something like that??
I’ll start with those and see what happens. Two or three of them can be accomplished with ease. The other ones will be a challenge to put it lightly. I’m up for it.
2011 feels like a good year to get my crap together.
Do you have any resolutions???
These are a couple of my favourite pics from our trip…Will with a couple of his cousins….
I love this post. The hols make me sad too, but I find the renewal-option of the new year so invigorating. My fave place for bra fitting is Melmira (yonge and lawrence-ish, they saved me post-3d baby). Lipstick tip if you’re planning on buying new make-up: The Chanel colour, Mademoiselle, looks FANTASTIC on everyone. I’m a strong believer in the magical powers of the right make-up….Good luck! Your son is ridiculously beautiful by the way.
I hope 2011 is a wonderful year for you! Happy New Year!
Happy New year beautiful sara!
I love the blank slate of the beginning of a new year- one intention is to be more efficient and then maybe find the extra hour or two in every day that I need!
They say that you can put the stuff you don’t use / need in a box and pop in basement- if you don’t miss it in a year pass it on.
(i am not great at this)
Just so you know, I am pretty sure most adult Xmas lovers fight the sadness of it too. Who by 40 has not lost someone, had regrets or mistakes. Christmas illuminates all of this. I felt severely melancholy at times this year but I still love Christmas. It is beauty with a nasty side. You are not alone
best to you for 2011
Loved this. I too have many things I’m going to change and improve on this year, but even looking at my list just makes me feel a little tired and intimidated. Hooray for a deep-seeded fear of failure!! 🙂
Lady, I hope your bra fitting is everything you’ve ever wanted – and yes, get rid of the sad, misshapen boobie-holders of old… and yes, wear som make up every day if it makes you feel better. Fernando said, “Remember darlings, it is always much better to look good, than to feel good.” This became my mantra a thousand years ago… it works, I tell you.
And Porter RAWKS, yo!! Best airline ever.
I feel your energy for decluttering, and I’m so excited for you, I’m starting to vibrate. Awesome!!!
Never resolutions.
Always intentions.
Like THIS is the year I intend to finally make it down to my prepreg (yes…she is almost 4. So what?) weight (only 7lbs…totally doable)
Also intend to become debt free. New job – totally doable.
Intend to run another 5k.
Intent to get completely back on track with cuyler’s remediation. I’m sad we got off course.
Happy new year Sara!!
(How did Anthony go over?)
looove your thinking of the boobs detracting from face…hmmm… I agree with you about multiplying – it’s insane – I feel like Will’s toys mulitply over and over again – argh!
thanks Tanis! Is she the woman that always says to clean your sink before you go to bed? I think I was there last year…I must return!!!
I was where you are. Last November I found a website that helped change my life, and my relationship with my family. Wish I’d found it sooner. Try it – http://www.flylady.net She motivates and encourages and loves her throng of followers. If nothing more, you’ll realize that you’re not alone. Good luck!
that first picture of the two boys just oozes “love”…beautiful.
so, no you don’t need makeup and if you get a great fitting bra, no one will notice your face…win win! 🙂 trust me on this one.
declutter is key…i don’t bring much into my house yet i’m still exporting at least a full garbage bag a week to goodwill. it must multiply or something!