The Perils of Cake Making

I’m new to the whole cake making thang but as Assistant to my very talented sister I have learned a few things that I think are important to share. But be prepared, they aren’t pretty. Just to give you a little background, we are making my little sister’s wedding cake, as well as cupcakes to ensure that everyone is satisfactorily sugared up and a giant birthday cake for little sis’ new hubby’s dad (Happy 60th Baz!).

As most of you know, I don’t cook, I am not crafty in any way, and baking is not even remotely on my list of things to do…ever. But I love my sisters both so I offer a helping hand where I can and surprisingly, I have not only been somewhat of a help but I have actually enjoyed it. Mostly because I get to chat with my sister but still, it hasn’t been the nightmare I anticipated at all.

However, there are some major perils to cake making and baking in general that I have discovered and I have personally tested each and every one. So, for those of you thinking of persuing Assistant baking, be forewarned. This list is for you:

1. Do NOT sample the icing. When you are making 700 cakes with a variety of icing this is definitely the beginning of something ugly.
2. Do NOT lick the bowl. With this many cakes and cupcakes there are lots of bowls and spoons and spatulas. The possibilities are endless.
3. Do NOT drink wine. Being drunk just makes you more able to convince yourself that #1 and #2 are good ideas.
4. Do NOT stand on a scale or try on your dress for the wedding while baking (and sampling) 7,000 cakes.
5. Do NOT also put out a cheese plate and asiago/spinach dip while baking 70,000 cakes, sampling icing, licking the bowl, and drinking wine.
6. Finally, do NOT offer to be the taste tester for the 700,000 cakes you are helping to bake. You are the Assistant, this is not in your job description. But, if it is, establish this BEFORE you break rules #1-5.

Hiccup. Burp. Ugh.