As the title of this blog post might suggest, I’ve got some issues that need your attention, dear readers. I’ve got a mommy in my life who has gone all judge-y on my normally far-too-busy-to-give-a-care self and I’m feeling the burn. I mean, I tend to let my kids figure stuff out for themselves. I’m here if they need a shoulder or an ear but, overall, they get it sorted. When they tell me they think they are ready to try something like walking to school or staying up late I listen. I hear what they have to say and then together we decide how it will go down.
I don’t always say “yes” but I usually do. At least in degrees. Sometimes if it is a big deal we start off with one part or do it in steps. But I trust my kids. And I trust that they know themselves way better than I do or some random parenting book OR some judge-y mommy. So my husband and I rarely get involved in their friendships or the social goings-on at school. The truth is, I find that if I do I get all Mama Bear-ish and start to take over. We’re all better off it I stay at arms length.
Let me tell you, “friend”, that letting my kids decide for themselves does not make me a bad mom. In fact, I think it makes me a good one. Making a conscious decision to let go of some control so they can confidently step toward independence is, in my opinion, our job as mothers.
No, I don’t need to read the books you have recommended or go to parenting courses. I am a good mom, with confident, well adjusted, respectful and independent kids despite what you think. Yes, my kids are both strong but they are also very different. What they share is that they are not afraid to reach high and push themselves for fear of failure and judgment from others. This is the gift I, as their mother, bestow upon them just as mine bestowed it upon me.
I get the fact that your children are your world. So are mine, just in a different way. But please, focus on yours and leave me to parent mine. I don’t want your advice. Nor, in my opinion, do I need it. And if ever I do, I will ask for it.