When I was little, we didn’t believe in Santa Claus.
My parents were pretty candid with us from the beginning that they bought us the presents, they filled the stockings, and they were the ones watching us for good behavior. I was also raised in a very religious household (born on the mission field, in fact). Jesus was always the reason for the season, not a jolly bearded man.
One year, a friend of theirs came to visit and brought a book with him. I wish I could find it– I can’t track it down anywhere online now. It was the true story of Santa Claus, basically; how it all went back to a Greek Bishop named Nickolaos of Myra. His generosity and propensity for secretly giving presents became the stuff of legend, and after he was canonized, he became Saint Nicholas. That eventually evolved into Jolly Saint Nick. What’s sort of awesome about this, though, is the actual stories surrounding Saint Nicholas’s kindness and miracles are anything but child-friendly. The Christmas stocking? Well, as the story goes, a man couldn’t afford dowry for his daughters, which meant they were looking at a life of sin instead of marriage. Saint Nicholas heard about this, and came during the night to leave them bags of gold to save them from their fate. He climbed up on the chimney and dropped a bag down– and it fell into one of the daughter’s stockings, which was pinned up by the fire to dry.
Yep. The first stocking was a last ditch effort to save a girl from prostitution.
(Saint Nicholas also was renowned for bringing back to life three children who were murdered and stuffed into a barrel by a cannibalistic butcher.) (I couldn’t make this up.)
Despite all this, the book always resonated with me. I actually liked the idea of a non-superhero figure. American Santa Claus was always all-knowing, wise, and magical, full of inhuman positivity, untiring, able to be anywhere at any time, a man who knew when you were sleeping and awake, who watched every mistake you made and judged your worthiness of toys. The original Saint Nicholas seemed, to me, just a nice guy who liked to help others.
When Elias was in kindergarten, he asked me if Santa was real. We hadn’t had any real talks about it up to that point. Every year, we just said Santa brought gifts, and Eli knew what the guy looked like. He saw Santa at the mall. Heh. Until he was five, though, he never had any reason to question how a man of Santa’s girth could get through our chimney– and how Santa got to our old apartment, that didn’t have a chimney. Did he break in? Did Santa have to go to jail? What was wrong with this old guy, breaking into people’s houses? OR WAS HE IN THE CLOSET ALL THE TIME? Or under the bed?
In an effort to calm him, I made a very bad decision. “Eli,” I said. “He’s not under your bed, okay? Santa Claus isn’t real.”
(No. That’s not the bad part. It gets worse.)
“He’s… not real?” E sniffed, staring at me incredulously. “But where did they get the idea?”
THE BOOK! “Well,” I continued, “there was guy that Santa Claus was based on. A really nice guy. He would give presents to all the people and all the little kids to try and help them out. His name was Nicholas. And they called him Saint Nick. Do you understand?”
“… Yes,” Eli answered. There was a long pause while he processed this information. Finally, he added, “What happened to Saint Nick?”
“Um. It was a long time ago.”
“How long?”
“Like– hundreds, thousands of years ago.”
“SANTA CLAUS IS DEAD?!?” Elias screeched.
Yeah.
So.
Guess who had some explaining to do to teachers and angry parents of classmates.
This year, I totally did away with Santa Claus. Elias has since resurrected Santa in his mind, and Addie has always believed Santa is alive and well. Since they’re old enough to know what’s up when we go Christmas shopping (and to recognize the Amazon packages that end up on our doorstep), we’ve been telling them that we buy their presents, while Santa is busy helping others who are less fortunate. It keeps Santa as the good guy, and allows them to appreciate the lengths that we parents go through to have a fun, toy-filled morning.
What do you all tell your children about Santa, and Christmas in general? What ideas were you raised on as a child?
I think the story of St. Nick is very interesting but really has very little to do with modern day Santa. In my opinion, the world today is full of bad news and harsh reality. Santa Claus is a fabulous way to give something magical to our children. To teach them about giving and selfless generosity. To pass along these traditions. My older son is 11 and he knows the truth. And now he proudly carries the tradition on for his younger sister and cousins.
This year UrbanMoms has adopted a family of 5 sisters who have been separated in foster care their whole lives. We are giving them a Christmas together. How did I explain this to my kids? We are Santa’s helpers. The spirit of giving is what Santa is all about. Regardless of how you do it, this is at the core of what your children will get from believing in this magical, generous elf.
This post makes me sad. On one hand, I totally respect the reinforcement and celebration of the true meaning of Christmas (which, of course, has it’s own back-story surrounding an incorrect birth date) . I also am always intrigued to learn how modern traditions came to be, so I would definitely be interested in reading this book. Please share the name if you ever find it. On the other hand, it saddens me that someone would squelch the awesome power of childhood wonder instead of trying to prolong it.
I love Malee’s comments. I have wonderful memories of Christmas from my childhood and want to continue the joy, magic and tradition with my children. We, like Christine, also do it up big with family, church and presents on the 24th. Christmas day is for Santa’s gifts and the big dinner. I also have German ancestry, so maybe that’s where this tradition came from.
Even when I was old enough to recognize Santa’s handwriting on the “Thank Yous” for the milk and cookies (and carrots for the reindeer) looked just like Daddy’s, my parents didn’t divulge the truth. When I was younger, I thought it was a little silly that they didn’t and it just went unspoken. However, as a parent, I understand. I enjoy being the one who get’s to provide the magic and wonderment. The sparkle in my children’s eyes and joy upon their faces is all the appreciation I need.
I’m thinking Laurie wouldn’t like my Elf On The Shelf 🙂
We’re the your typical “Santa’s watching, be good or else” parents. Our children believe in Santa. We’re raising our kids with Christmas the way we were.
There are a few traditions that we follow – St. Nikolaus comes Dec 5 and leaves plates of sweets, cookies and books for the kids – my German mother in law does all of that.
We have our big turkey feast and present opening at my in-laws every Christmas Eve – again the Germans do it big on the 24th.
We come home, put the kids to bed and wake up to gifts from Santa and my family comes to spend the day with us and do dinner at our place. Lots of good food and family time spent together.
Hands down my favourite time of year!
This whole comment is wonderful… I loved your the mention of the ‘Home Alone’ movies; which I actually saw as an adult but still get all nostalgic over. (‘Love Actually’ does that to me, too. There are just some Perfect Christmas Films.)
I love all these replies– thank you all so much for taking the time to share!
Your husband is totally right! 😀 The city of Myra was Greek at the time, and is now modern-day Turkey. So don’t worry, no need to upset him! Heh.
I don’t have children yet, but I will proberly say Santa brings them one present and Mom & Dad the others..even if we have the same wrapping paper 😉
In Year 5 (I’m in the UK..so at around age 9) we had a supply teacher that told us Santa was not real, but my mum said if Santa isn’t real you don’t get presents. So I pretended until I was about 11-12 heh.
My husband; who is Turkish, always informs me St Nick was born in Turkey, so I better not upset him and say he was Greek :p.
My parents never discussed it. We never really did celebrated Christmas in a grand way with the rituals of getting a tree, full decorations, talks about Santa Claus, etc. However, I did believe in Santa Claus when I was younger although none of the more traditional Christmas elements happened in our household.
Christmas for me happened in the stories I was told at school, the Home Alone movies I watched, the seasonal scratch-n-sniff stickers I collected for being a good student, the cold weather and fireplace smell, Christmas plays, and just basically any good memories that happened around that time.
I honestly wait all year for this season (I listen to carols all year on my janky record player) because I still do believe in Christmas–that those little whimsical elements still happen as some adults suspend belief to bring Santa to life or the JOY of the Christmas sweater. I just love everything about it. I sometimes even believe it’ll snow in my California town. Annnnyway, I would want my children to believe in Santa for as long as they can–even as they grow older; maybe not in the typically jolly guy coming down your chimney way but to immerse themselves in total childhood wonder, if not just for that period of time. Just believing in something, like Peppermint Bark Ghirardhelli, can get you through some rough times.
See, I think I would go the No-Santa route…if I weren’t terrified of retribution if my kids blabbed/terrified kids in their classes, etc.
I like your Santa is busy helping needy people route, and I hope I remember it when it comes time to use it.
I was always told that Santa brings you ONE present and fills your stocking, and the rest come from whoever’s name is on the tag. He could totally see if you were bad or good and all that jazz.
Then I was 5 and my 6 year old cousin lost her tooth. I was stoked… STOKED… that the toothfairy would be coming and expressed my joy. Kay, more wordly than me because she had two older sisters, informed me that the tooth fairy wasn’t real, it was your mom, and ditty for Santa and the Easter Bunny.
The rule in my parents’ house is that if you don’t believe in Santa, he doesn’t bring you anything, so even though I’m 28, I still believe in old St.Nick. Heh.
My kids have not ever seen a gift from “Santa” under the tree. My son (who is now 12) knew from about 4 that Santa is a wonderful story and many kids believe he is real. We also taught him to NOT ruin what other children believe about Santa!
At 8-years-old, my daughter is pretty obsessed with writing letters to Santa. I am not sure where this obsession came from, but I am not planning to burst her bubble and tell her “there is no Santa”.
The rest of my family perpetuates the Santa myth … including “If you’re not good, Santa won’t bring you any presents” – the most horrible lie ever told to children!