One thing I never anticipated about having kids was the impact it would have on my marriage. My husband and I dated for 4 years before we were married and waited another 3 before having our first child. We were the type of couple who had to always be touching. You know the type? If they are sitting side by side she has her leg over his. If they are watching a movie, he has his arm around her. Not total PDA but pretty close.
We often talked about how weird it was that some couples actually had to work at their relationship. Were they doomed or what?! We just had to look at each other and that was enough.
What we didn’t know then was that we had the luxury of time. Time for each other and time for our relationship. Of course we didn’t have to work at it because it was all we had! Work and each other, that was it.
Even when I was pregnant with my first child we didn’t get it. I would lose myself in thinking about my sweet and strong husband with a tiny little baby. My heart would burst with love for this soon-to-be daddy. How blissfully happy we were going to be!
Once the baby was born I was completely overwhelmed. I couldn’t even shower, how was I going to find time to whisper sweet nothings into his ear?! Especially since I had pretty much exhausted my cuddling and touching repetoire with the 24 hour demands of motherhood.
Don’t get me wrong. I still adore my husband. He is a wonderful dad, my best friend, and just a really good guy. But, now it takes work. We have to plan to spend time together – without the kids. We need our weekends away occasionally. We are planning a trip together next year for our tenth anniversary. I know how important this is because once the kids are grown-up, we will be stuck together for the rest of our lives so we have to at least like each other.
Well, I assume I am not alone (?) so, please share your comments below or send me an email with ideas for this section.
Jen
How weird it was to read your thoughts on love, marriage, and family. It was like reading my life story, we too were that couple, even to the point of making up silly kisses ( oh boy lol ). We married after dating for nearly 6 yrs and became pregnant with our son within a few months of being married .. it was all downhill from there haha. Time together is a quick glance as he runs out the door for work, or that few minutes of cuddle time before our daughter wakes up and ends up in our bed ( apparently she believes her spot is right in the middle and well who can reason with a 15 month old haha ). I am now pregnant again and due in November and quite frankly I can’t figure out how we ever found intimate time to get pregnant with our 15 month old, let alone this one hahaha .. thanks for the chuckles and thoughts of days long ago :o) .. sincerely Lynn ( mommy of Will(4), Hannah(15 months), and baby # 3