Imagine you bought a sweater that you had to wear every day but you weren’t sure you liked it or not. You know, you look at yourself everyday and think, ‘ahh it looks okay but it could be smaller.’ or ‘I don’t know…it’s really comfortable though???’
Hmmm. That’s how I’ve been with my hair for my entire life. It’s been a love/hate relationship at best. My two older sisters have straight hair and I always used to covet it.
When I was little, my mom would cut it all off every summer so she wouldn’t have to deal with brushing it out after a day of pool hopping. Considering I was boobless until the eleventh grade, this didn’t help the fragile ego…
Through public school and high school I would try all these tricks to get it to be straight like my sisters. Really, it just resulted in me looking like a chia pet. We won’t mention the Flock of Seagulls/Vanessa Huxtuble do that I had for awhile…
In university, I started to accept that it was curly and nothing was changing it…but ummm…I hadn’t discovered what a good hair cut could do for you.
I tried straight and bangs…and adding 30 pounds…but still no good!
Then I just grew it…and it got loooooong.
Then my mom got sick and when her hair was gone, I decided it was time for mine to be gone as well. She had always wanted to see it short again, and I just wanted it gone….until it was. I surprised my mom with it the next day. I was late picking her up (trying to style what was left…and stop crying) and she was bitching me out when I walked in the door, then she saw my hair. She just started to cry. She loved it. And eventually, I liked it too. Frankly, as looserish as this might sound, if I wasn’t single I’d probably just cut it all off again.
Since then, I’ve gone to town. It’s been black. It’s been straight. It’s been short and long. Then when I decided to get pregnant, I just let it all go back to it’s own colour of mousy brown. On my fortieth birthday, I called my dad and said, ‘I just want to be blonde again, that’s what I want for my birthday.’ I had felt unattractive for three years.
This summer I went darker again….not my plan, but my colourist and I had a slight disagreement over how dark was too dark. I didn’t hate it…but like a bad sweater, it didn’t fit. It was the wrong size.
I’ve finally figured it out….I’m at my best when I’m blonde and curly (and with my girls!). It’s who I am. No more dicking around with the lid. Now, if I could just figure out the rest of me…..
Sarah,
I have the exact same hair as you and have gone through all of the same issues. I think my grade 6 school picture was the best (worst) though. I had tried to straighten it but my Mom insisted on layers as she thought it would thin it out. The result…..my head looked like a pyramid pointy on the top and very wide at my shoulders…..hideous. I have also finally come to the conclusion that curley is who I am…..
I love this post and hate my hair. Your hair is fabulous and it looks easy (remember after the golf game and you washed it and let it dry naturally and it looked gorgeous? bitch!) One day if you are good I will show you a picture of me with a perm and a bad angular short hair cut – title of the book? My Life as a Poodle.
It’s funny how I always assume that curly hair is easier. Just wash, scrunch and go.
I feel like I look unkempt and skanky unless I actually blow dry it – which takes a ridiculous 25 minutes. I had a perm in late high school which I loved and was so easy – don’t judge – I rocked that bitch (even Sean wants me to do it again!) Growing it out when I tire of it is what is stopping me.
My cowlicks on the other hand – they have created as many issues for me as your colour and curls have for you!
One day ( when I am not with babe in belly) lets sit down with a BIG glass of wine and I can show you my History of Hair Photos! Man, it is horrible…. your History of Hair Photos looks insanely great compared to the horror show that is mine. Curly, frizzy, reddish ( now greyish too thanks to premature greys that sprout up and my unwillingness to dye while being pregnant) hair has been the bane of my existance- only made that much worse with the super hit 80s film “Annie”. Man!
thanks dude…but you know the grass is always greener!!!
I was looking for the brushed out hair picture!!! love love love your hair!! I’ve always wanted curly hair as apposed to my pin straight hair boring….at least you can straighten your hair which looks fantastic too!! Me my hair can’t hold a curl – gets all limpy looking!
I’ve always loved your hair Sara. I had a neighbour with the same kind
of hair…I always thought it looked so feminine!! If it’s long, you always
just have so much hair, and I think men like it!! It frames the face nicely…
short or long…most people just have this flatness, and as you get older,
it doesn’t frame the face well…That being said, I understand some of your frustration. I had beautiful wavy hair when I was young (inherited from
my Welsh side grandparents, and the Welsh have amazing hair) , and I was forever trying to straighten it…my favourite is when I would put it in a ponytail right on the top of my head and then put rollers in the tail. Perfectly straight when I took it out, except for the kink where the elastic went. I remember one girl in the grade six line (I was in grade four) whose hair was perfectly straight except for that
perfect curl at the bottom. Try as I might, I couldn’t achieve that one. I
inevitably had a wave in between the top and the bottom where it curled.
I was only in grade four, but acutely aware of my hair’s imperfections!!
I now have a fabulous flat iron, and I’m always amazed that I can
finally do what I couldn’t do all those years ago. However, I do notice that
eventual thickening and rise in my hair when the Toronto humidity hits it!!
And…I totally give up in the summer in PEI…there are waves and curls everywhere!!