The Lone Wolf??

So my trip.  I hate to disappoint because god knows I love a good trashy tale as much as the next person, but it was a quiet few days on the beach!  My first full day there, I did put back more cervezas than was entirely necessary.  After a day in the sun, I sat at the bar and one of the bartenders from the last time I was there mixing me ridiculously strong pina coladas.  It wasn’t pretty. 

Summary of the spot?  Well this is the view from my room – which was sweet since I didn’t pay for an ocean room!  It was clean, quiet and the tv picked up CNN which I’ve been missing since my cutback to basic cable.  Beach was amazing – although way too many bad tattoos, banana hammocks and pot bellies.

Will did amazing without me.  My sister was shocked at how he goes from 0 to 100 upon waking – he starts to talk before his eyes are open and he doesn’t stop until he’s asleep that night.  She claimed he only cried twice – and once was when he couldn’t have chips for breakfast….man, I’d rather she given him the chips than allowed him to watch Barney (who is not allowed in my house).

I spent the week reading and thinking.  It’s amazing how when you’re alone with your thoughts for a week, you can go through a ton of things.  I thought alot about my postpartum and my return to those feelings in January.  There was a four month old at the resort and his mom asked me about something at that time, I said I don’t remember.  And I honestly don’t.  To me, it’s almost like Will was born at a year.

As crappy as that was, the one thing I kept coming back to though – is how truly, incredibly fortunate I am.  I feel like I’m at the beginning of my second life.  My first one was amazing and exciting.  I had many outstanding experiences that I relived on my trip…

– climbing a mountain with 12 strangers

– watching the sun rise on Montmartre with an Argentine soccer team…*sigh*

– riding mopeds around Corfu – and only crashing once

– welcoming the morning mooning surfers off the rocks at Coogee Beach

and the list went on. 

But that life is over.  And now I get to do it all over again.  The amazing experiences are different but not less.  And seeing all the kids of different ages at this resort started to get me really excited about what this part of my like is going to be as Will gets older.  And I’m so fortunate to have him – to have been able to physically and financially; to have him be healthy.  I had a few of those ‘what if I never decided to do this’ thoughts while I was away and I freaked out a bit.

Truth be told, I was a little bit lonely on this trip.  Before Will was born, my sister gave me this kids book and the inscription was along the lines of – ‘Welcome to the time of your life where it is no longer about ‘you’.  It will always be about ‘him, we and us’ and it will be the best time of your life.’

And she wasn’t kidding.