when Emily was born, she was an angel baby.
she was so content. she just sort of sat there and didn’t really cry all that much. i knew we were more than blessed when at 4 weeks (4 weeks, people!) she started consistently sleeping from 12-6 every night. that’s basically when i stopped talking about how amazing she was. poo poo poo. knock on wood. saying it out loud is a jinx you know!
she continued to be just a perfect baby. she ate. she played. she smiled. she pooped. she began sleeping more and more at night. there were only two things with Emily that were less than stellar in those early months.
she didn’t sleep during the day. she’d catnap – for 20 minutes at a time. and only in her crib. she wouldn’t sleep in the stroller, the carseat, all those normal places where babies sleep. and we aren’t even going to talk about pack n plays. Emily wanted nothing to do with the pack n play. if it wasn’t her crib, she wasn’t interested. (hindsight clue #1: she’s picky.)
and she hated the car. now, hated is probably a gross understatement. she loathed the car. she cried and screamed and yelled and choked herself every time i put her in the car. she scared me in the beginnning. at times, i would pull over to the curb to make sure she was still breathing. she scared my friends. (hindsight #2: she has a temper)
i should have ignored all the great things and taken these two things as a sign of things to come. this was 100%, through and through, a high maintenence child.
to give you a picture of how easy we thought our first-born was, when she was 11 months old, we decided it was time to do it all over again. Emily was so easy, surely a second would be easy too. and i wanted to make sure that i had a new baby before she hit the terrible two’s. in our household, the terrible two’s came early. they were more like the terrible one’s. and lucky me, i was already pregnant with #2 (who is, ironically, the low maintenance child). so, she started the terrible two’s early…and we’re hoping they’ll end any day now (if you didn’t know already, she’s 5 1/2)
the thing with Emily is that she’s high maintenance. but only for us. her teachers LOVE her. other parents LOVE her. she’s sweet, and charming, and can dazzle the pants off of most people. (although most people say, "i love Emily, but i’m so happy that i don’t have to take her home every day". it’s like a newborn. they are so fun to play with and look at and hold them when they are all smushy…but you don’t want to take them home. you want to hand them over to their parents and say, "here, you deal with the diapers and the sleepless nights and the crying.") she’s ahead of her time, she’s already a teenager. and people think this is incredible. they ask her about her extensive knowledge of all things Teeny-Bopper. She can tell you everything you needed to know about Hilary Duff and she told me last night "Mommy, Britney Spears is taking time off from singing because she just had her second baby. a boy. she’s so lucky that now she gets to be a stay at home mom" and no, this isn’t a joke. this actually came out of my 5-year-old’s mouth.
with me, however, it’s a different story.
she doesn’t like to hear no. and she’s an expert tantrum-thrower. expert. and she’s very sly. she knows which sort of reaction to have. she knows when to throw the full-out tantrum, or when to physically lash out at her brother, when to sulk off in the corner, or when to cry like a baby.
she came out of me with a mind of her own. a stubborn one. she knows what she wants. she wants to pick her clothes. pick what’s on tv. pick what she eats for dinner. and she knows what she doesn’t want. she doesn’t want to go to bed. ever.
i swear, my child, she doesn’t sleep.
ironically, in the movie that i saw at the film festival this week…(yes! i saw Jude Law! and yes! he’s stunning in person! and yes! i’m sad that i didn’t go home with him! but that’s a story for another time)…the couple had a daughter who didn’t sleep. she was up all night doing gymnastics. i looked at the husband and he looked at me. that’s Emily, we both sighed.
she doesn’t sleep. she does puzzles and reads books and plays barbies and beads 25 necklaces and practices ballet. anything but sleep. and you can only imagine what a child who doesn’t sleep is like in the morning….
Emily is very demanding, and i end up using 3/4 of my energy dealing with her demands (i need pink crocs. i need them. i need them. right now. i need them. they are the most popular shoes in the country right now), her problems (you see this thing? on my foot? it’s killing me? josh did it to me. you need to punish him. now.), her theatrics (mommy…my stomach is eating itself. i’m so hungry.)
i often stare in awe at a mother who will say to her daughter, "sweetie, no you can’t have m&ms right now" and watch as the child thinks for a minute, realizes that her mother has said no, and walks away. "fine, mommy" Things like this do not happen with Emily. They happen with Joshua. but not Emily. she doesn’t take no for answer. at least not without putting up some sort of fight.
i don’t know if she’s the result of being the oldest, me being a first-time mom, or this is just who she is. she challenges in ways that i didn’t know i could be challenged. and tests me and tries my patience. but she also amazes me.
anyone else out there with a high-maintenance child? i’m currently accepting tips and suggestions.
song of the day: Mornings Eleven by The Magic Numbers
check out my other blog, I Write, Therefore I Blog. and be on the lookout for my design overhaul, when my old blog becomes my new blog, Cheaper Than Therapy. it’s only a few more days.
if you’re reading, leave a comment. let me know you’re reading. even if it’s just to say hi.
Hi! I love your blog even thought I’m not Canadian 🙂 I just found the coolest idea for a shower/kids gift at
http://mailboxtees.com/shop_kids.php
Thought you should check it out. It’s like a tshirt club, and they send you a different limited edition tee for the baby every couple months- each time a bigger size of course- so original!
Keep up the good work Ali 😉
Hi Ali)
Boy – this is one post that I’ve related to more than any other! I’ve got 3 kids – a boy 11, a girl 9, and a boy 6… Brenna, my darling girl, is the DEFINITION of high maintenance. My boys, on the other hand, are angels in comparison. Your entire post described the first 5 years of Brenna’s life. Her sleeping habits from the time she was born are identical to what you’ve talked about. Slept all night, NEVER napped more than a few minutes and ONLY in her crib. She’s nine now and the only difference is that she’s bigger and stronger and I’m seriously afraid that one of these days she’s going to win. Tantrums…still has them. I dread, (I mean, I am totally petrified) of her becoming a teenager. Because her moods now are beyond! But in between the frightening moods and fierce tantrums, she is honestly the sweetest child, I’m not kidding. She has moments where, I swear, I can see the halo! I find if it’s just her and I, she often the PERFECT child. Completely pleasant. What has always worried me, is that her teachers and anyone else who interacts with her away from me say she is an absolute delight. At home, especially if her brothers are around, she can quite literally be a terror. Mean, spiteful…it worries me. I actually put her in play therapy for a short time about a year ago, but she wouldn’t even begin to talk to the therapist. Oddly, for a child who is so strong willed, she can be really very shy. Anyway, for Brenna, I have no idea if it’s a “girl” thing or a “middle child” thing or just a Brenna thing…or, if it’s something I’m doing wrong. I just hope, like some of the others have said about their experiences, that she turns out to be a more mellow adult. Because, if not, look out world!
Jeepers – I just realized none of this is very helpful. Actually, it’s horrible. Sorry! Hope someone can offer me some advice too!!!!!
There’s a reason that I say that WonderBaby is a future Ruler of the Universe.
She gets her own way, always. Has done since day one, no exaggeration.
Kicking my butt.
hi ali,
i sure do hear you.i have 3 daughters and each one is more willful & stubborn than the one before her.the oldest one just ignores me (she’s a teenager).the drama queen who is soon to be 6 needs an explanation foreverything you say and the toddler who is the most defiant.thie little one says no (even when she means yes)she rules her little world for certain ,but i tell myself that this too will pass & all will grow up to be positive kind ,assertive&generous women. and ,hey they too will be mums one day then we can sit back and chuckle over our willful stubborn granddaughters.
My first was a high-maintenence kid, grew into a high-maintenence teen – and into quite a mellow adult!
I remember thinking that his strong personality would make him a great adult, but it sure was difficult to live with as a child.
There were days I would have gladly sold him to the gypsies, but surviving his childhood was worth it. Keeping him busy was the best way to keep him out of trouble!
I don’t believe in astrology. But our kids were born in the same month and they have some odd similarities – sleep (including locations), car, persistence… what is their sign anyway?
Kim. thanks for you comment!
you are totally right. they are hard to handle but they are leaders and i’m so thankful for that.
as my grandmother says, “she’ll never get lost in this world.”
Jen…Emily is me. to a t.
which is probably why it’s so trying sometimes. 🙂
I am the mom of 4 children (Cole 11, Kendra 9, Wesley 6, and Christine 5) and it is our youngest who is a handful. She is the tiniest little thing with straight dirty blonde hair and these big round hazel eyes … too cute until she screams ….she is so loud I think I have permanent hearing damage.
Sure being the youngest of 4, you have to be strong to have your say heard but she is ridiculous.
I went for an interview with a childcare provider recently and Chrissy when off to play with all the toys that were neatly organized into nice bins (a sight she has never seen in our home). The talk with the care giver was going well when the caregiver commentd how quiet Chrissy is. My 3 other chidlren burst into laughter – luckily this did not daunt her and the caregiver has kindly accepted my crew lovingly into her home.
Chrissy does not miss a trick and will use all her kmowledge to further benefit the fulfillment her desires. She is a man lover. She charms her way into candy at the rink’s canteen from other parents, who apparently have forgotten the word no when she is around.
Really nice when your kids are begging for treats.
Sometimes my only method of attack is to stop everything, sit down in the middle of the floor (and cry.. no I am joking this is not my normal method but it has happenned). I sit still and once there is no reaction from me at all it is like she finally hears herself. When we are in public I do not sit down but continue to go on about my tasks much to the dismay of the those who are darting dirty looks at me for having unruly children but why should I get all work up about (I admnit easier said then done). Then we head home no matter what fun and adventure we may be missing out on because the behaviour displayed was unacceptable.
Their strong personalities make them hard to handle but also very humourous at certain moments in time and hopefully confident enough to make their own decisions and not be just the sheep that follows. I am not so easy to get along with myself sometimes.
Enjoy your weekend !
Kim
Ottawa ON
Oh yah, Ali. I get it. My daughter, although not quite as developed in the ways of manipulation, can certainly make a pretty good go of it. However, I am not really surprised. I actually hear her say things or watch her react and instantly recognize…”OMG, that’s me!”. Any chance Emily has a bit of her mama in her?