I was due to have my second child at the end of January. I finished work before the holidays and enjoyed the rush of Christmas and New Years thinking that I would have a few weeks to get organized before I gave birth. I didn’t think I would be early like I was the first time as so many of my friends had suffered through a late delivery the second time around. I officially started my maternity leave on January 7th. On January 8th my husband returned to work after the holiday break and I set out with my 3 1/2 year old son, Josh, to get some things done.
We were on our way to the Peg Perego factory at about noon to get our stroller patched up when I felt a few pangs. I had been having some contractions for weeks so I didn’t think much of it. Then, ouch, a real contraction. After a few more I was thinking about turning around but couldn’t imagine when I would possibly get this done so I breathed through the still mild contractions and kept on trekking.
As I approached Peg Perego my cellular phone rang. It was my Mom. I could tell immediately that something was wrong. "Your grandfather has passed away", she said. I took a deep breath and exclaimed "I think I’m in labour". As a rush of emotions went through me I knew I couldn’t fully absorb this sad news. I had to focus on the baby.
Luckily, the folks at Peg Perego were very helpful and very fast and my son and I were out of there by 2:00 p.m. I loaded the stroller and my son into the car and drove directly to my midwife’s office. The contractions, although still mild, were getting closer and stronger so I knew I had better get checked out.
The first time around I had not planned a homebirth but in the throws of labour, the thought of going to the hospital was out of the question so I ended up having him at home. It was such a positive experience I was planning another homebirth.
When I arrived at my midwife’s office she proclaimed me nearly 3 centimetres dilated. I decided to return home and wait it out until things really got started but quickly we all realized I was in no position to drive. It was now nearing 4:00 p.m. and I was sitting in the midwives waiting room trying to suppress my primal grunts so as not to draw too much attention to myself while my midwife gathered her things. She loaded both my son and me into her car and headed straight for home.
I called my mom and sister, who are both nurses, and my husband to let them know it was time and to come as soon as possible. I asked my mom how my dad was doing. She told me not to worry, it was time to focus on the baby. I then called my friend to let her know I wouldn’t be at bookclub that evening. She would let the girls know another member was on its way!
Once we got home the contractions got stronger and closer together. I had forgotten how much it hurt! I wanted to labour in water so my husband started filling the pool in the basement and my sister massaged my back. Once the pool was full I got in, got the lights turned off, asked everyone to leave, and got into "the zone". I found with both labours I was best able to cope on my own. I needed silence. I didn’t want anything that could distract me. A few times I even yelled at my midwives to stop talking as they were disturbing my work!
Things were moving very quickly and as I entered the final phase of labour I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness. The realization that my grandfather, a man I had respected, admired, and loved deeply, was gone and that my baby would not have the honour of knowing him suddenly hit me. I thought of my aunts and uncles and cousins. Then, the reality of my current state got the better of me when I was overwhelmed by the urge to push!
Unlike the first time when I pushed for almost 3 hours, this time it was just 3 pushes and my beautiful baby girl was born. Her Daddy, Grandma, aunt, and big brother were there when she entered the world. Her Grandpa was close by, not quite able to enter the room but too curious to leave.
In the midst of all of this I thought a lot about my dad. Today he had said goodbye to his own father and at the same time he was welcoming a new grandchild. We all cried when he came down to meet his new granddaughter. Overwhelmed by the conflicting emotions he exclaimed "this is such a happy day, but also so terribly sad". How true.
Five days later we took Meghan, this tiny, beautiful new baby, to her great-grandfather’s funeral. Her middle name, Victoria, was given to her in honour of the town in Newfoundland in which her great-grandfather had been born. This little bundle who was barely 6lbs was such a symbol of hope and joy for my family. Her existence and the timing of her birth reminded us all of the cycle of life and of the legacy of family and love my grandparents had passed on to us.
It was now in our hands, the next generation of parents and grandparents, to continue this gift we had been so lucky to receive. On that day, one life left the world and another one entered. The cycle of life continues.
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Jen
Jen,
Your story is so beautiful. Life works in amazing ways. The beginning and the end of life are so closely linked at times. Meghan is a lucky little girl to have a Mom like you to make her such a priority when you could have easily and understandably been distracted.