On the weekend, the Boy and I were quietly cuddling and watching TV when he turned to me with his big blue eyes and asked: " Mumma, why is your stomach still so big even now that the baby’s come out?"
My eyes welled with tears which I quickly concealed, and I mumbled to him, "You know what, I don’t know the answer to that. Sometimes it takes Mummies some time to go back to their old shape."
God forbid I impose on my children the corrosive body image issues that have churned inside of me for as long as I can remember. Yes, it’s been 3 months since I had my daughter and I still look pregnant. I’m still wearing maternity clothes, and even my feet haven’t gone back to their normal size. I won’t take my kids swimming because wearing a swimsuit fills me with dread. I avoid mirrors because it’s too painful to face the reality of my physical state.
All of these negative emotions exist simultaneous to the joy and happiness I feel about my children and family. I’m so appreciative for the blessings of my children, but am aghast at what it’s done to me. In those rare moments when I can face the mirror, I see a body I don’t recognise. Stretched, pulled and ravaged – my once-taut figure looks like it’s been through a war. Providing months of residence for 3 small human beings has taken its toll, and I don’t know how to begin remedying the damage.
I had good intentions. I worked out until my 8th month of pregnancy, and planned to eat healthy after the birth and continue exercising. I started walking on the treadmill and doing light weights when the Baby was 6 weeks, and it felt good. And then, it didn’t feel good. Going to the gym fills me with anxiety and stress. Starving and exhausted, all I crave are carbs and more carbs. It’s just too hard right now to face getting back into shape. At the same time, it’s all I think about??
Every day I’m on the verge of addressing the situation, but I always cave. I’m just not able to harness the mental discipline to face the issue and get on track.
Aren’t you only three months post-partum? A wise friend of mine once told me
“Nine MOnths on, Nine Months OFf.” (and just between you and me, someone looked at my belly and asked me when I was due the other day. Um, three years ago?)
Amreen! You need to give yourself a break! My goodness, no one expects you to be back in shape in only 3 months. The first three months are the worst – crazy sleep schedules, hormone changes, not to mention two other little darlings needing you. Take the kids to the pool. Eat those carbs you crave. Accept that this is your shape now and work on it whenever you feel up to it.
Amreen, I totally know how you feel. I think most moms do. Remember you are still nurturing your little baby even though she’s on the outside now. Your body is working very, very hard to make milk to nourish her, and I think you should rejoice in that, and not sweat the weight just yet.
Amreen, I am so with you, but please don’t let this fake hollywood three month bounce back time get to you. I tucked in my 4 year old tonight who patted me on the belly, laughed and said “momma, your tummy is getting very big now.” it would have been cute if I was pregnant! Focus on your baby. It took you 9 glorious months to build the body that nurtured, loved and protected that bundle. I say you needn’t even think about for another 6 months when both you and your child are on a more even keel and you can focus a little more on yourself.