STOP — Tummy Time! (MC Haley…)

Arrrgh. I’m having one of those days. Probably not the best day to blog. But, then again, probably THE best day to blog because blogging makes me giddy…(hee). My eyebrows are stuck in that same curled-up worried posture. Not sure why — they’re just stuck there. Maybe because I’m trying to keep my eyes open, and pressing my eyebrows up is actually helping keep my eyes open? Or, maybe it’s something less physical? Maybe I’m just exhausted emotionally.

These days, I find, there’s SO much pressure on pregnant women to be PERFECT for the sake of the unborn child: from what we eat, to what we drink, how we look, what we wear, to what kind of exercise we do, how much weight we gain, what vitamins we take, etc.. And, one gets a little tired trying to meet these expectations; perfectionists like me get EXHAUSTED trying to meet these expectations. Like, this adage is ALL OVER the books, the news, etc.: A HEALTHY MOM MAKES A HEALTHY BABY.

The peeps who initiated this adage were OBVIOUSLY male, or had OBVIOUSLY never been pregnant before.

So, I ask myself: Are they telling me my baby’s LIFE depends on what I put in my mouth?? My baby’s LIFE depends on whether or not I eat enough vegetables (even though I can hardly LOOK at broccoli these days)? No peanut butter? Are they TRYING to kill me? I can understand the big three: alcohol, tobacco and drugs…. But, my uncontrollable stress level? My diet (YOU try managing preggo cravings!)? My water intake? Do I drink caffeine? Do I eat peanut butter (freaking YES!)? And, how ’bout that fish issue?: EAT LOTS OF FISH because your child’s brain and eye development DEPEND on it!; LIMIT YOUR FISH INTAKE because the mercury is detrimental to your child’s brain development. Like, SHUT. UP.!!!

Too much pressure. Too much guilt. Too much fuel for anxiety. No wonder prepartum and postpartum depression are on the rise…! It’s just too much! LAY OFF, YOU MEANIE PEOPLE!

All this constant societal pressure to be the PERFECT woman for the sake of THE CHILD is, I think, precisely why I’m enjoying Rebecca Eckler’s  Knocked Up: Confessions of a Modern Mother-to-be, so much. She drinks coffee, lives on big macs and french fries, and even has the occasional drink and smoke when she’s pregnant. I LOVE IT. It’s so refreshing and uplifting to read a book like this, to throw pressure and guilt to the wind and escape in the freedom of doing whatever feels good…. Of course, the big guilt she grapples with is relatively superficial — the weight gain. But, I MUCH prefer that to "YOUR BABY’S LIFE DEPENDS ON IT"! HATE! Eckler’s book is literally a breath of fresh air! And, it makes me laugh. Out loud. In Starbucks.

(Click this pic for book deets….)

Of course, contrary to Eckler, I freak out if I even have my FAVOURITE Starbucks chai tea latte, which is, like, ALMOST every day…. I’m sure there’s hardly any caffeine in it, but still…. Darn cravings. And, today was RIDICULOUS! I bought a bottled water. But, when I opened it, I wasn’t sure if the safety seal had been in tact. So, what’d I do? I THREW THE FREAKING WHOLE THING OUT! And, I was thirsty! But, I was worried that MAYBE the seal was broken and that MAYBE someone put something in the water that would hurt the baby…. I know, a little extreme. But, that’s how I get, all thanks to THE MEANIE PRESSURE PEOPLE.

Yeah, so, today is one of those insane days when the pressure gets to be too much, and anxiety flourishes…. Drowning my sorrows in sugary, fatty foods (mmm…MUF-FIN) will only make it worse. So, I’m having brown rice and chickpeas for lunch because I’m feeling like it’s good for the baby…and, maybe it’ll balance my nutty hormones a little, and maybe I can feel like I’m being a perfect pregnant woman for a little, and it’s probably better than Quiznos, ya think…? Mmmm…Quiznos….

Of course, I ate the whole thing and more. And, then I got anxious that eating too many chickpeas at one sitting would be bad for the baby somehow………….. Help. Me. (Now you see why I’m in therapy!?)

My parents gave me a break from my little monkey this morning. Josh is away in Calgary for a wedding, so I REALLY needed some time to myself. I cried when I passed the monkey over to my parents — THAT’S how grateful I was for the break. I took myself RIGHT to Yorkdale. Went to Indigo for my chai……… And, then I went shopping. I picked up my new Lululemon capris, the only pants in the whole mall that would fit my ginormous shape. And, would you believe, I had to SHORTEN them?! Who has to shorten capris! The joy of capri season is precisely that you don’t have to shorten your darn pants, right?!? You can buy them and wear them the next day! To think! Anyway…. I also bought me some new maternity tops at Old Navy. They’re aiight.

How’s that for some retail therapy…? Of course, I also bought some Dora and Diego books for the monkey…because I MISSED her……..

MY PREGNANCY THEME SONG [to the tune of "If You’re Happy and You Know It"]

There are dimples on my butt on my butt. Woohoo!
There are dimples on my butt on my butt. Yee ha!
There are dimples on my butt,
And I’ll not get in a rut
‘Cuz I’m pregnant and I like a good donut. Woohoo!

[Actually I do NOT eat donuts. "Donut" in this song is a metaphor — I’ll have you know — for all things chocolaty, muffiny, cakey, and HIGHLY-caloricy…. Mmmmmm! Can’t. Help. Self. From. Indulging. Even newly dimply butt doesn’t stop me.]

Yeah, I’m pretty sure my butt’s taking a hit this pregnancy. Seriously, CAN a baby grow into your butt area? Maybe that’d explain things…. WhatEVS, so be it. I just signed up with Fitpregnancy.com, so I’m hoping that’ll slow down the dimple gainage and prep me for the SERIOUS post-preggo fitness plan I’ll be in desperate need of…! THANK YOU to Kugey for recommending it!

Oh, by the way, I’m still working on the next verse of my pregnancy theme song — it’s about my new double chin. LOVE!

Oh! Oh! Oh! I know what’ll make me and EVERYONE smile and REVEL in the joy of "imperfection" (which is really perfection…wait till you see!): TUMMY TIME!!!!!!!! Check all the beautiful and different bellies!  In all shapes and sizes! LOVE!!!

First: check out MOI!

Moi at 25 weeks….

 

Moi now, at 26 weeks — growing like CRAZAY!!!

As Jen Maier (Urbanmoms founder!) said to me today — when we bumped into each other at Yorkdale, "what the heck am [I] going to look like at 9 months!!!???" We shall see…!

AND, HERE YOU ARE!!! ENJOY!!!

Now THAT was feel-good stuff! Look how CUTE everyone is!!! And, so GORJ!!! Really, beautiful. LOVE!

So, July is BABY MONTH on Discovery Health Channel Canada (see sidebar for what channel it’s on in your area), and I got to preview some of the shows they’ll have on! My absolute favourite, I have to say, is THE BABY WHISPERER — with Tracy Hogg, who was christened "the baby whisperer" by Jody Foster, and has worked with Julia Roberts and tons of other A-list celebs. Here’s a blurb on the show (from her website):

In each episode, Tracy is called upon to “fix” what seems to the parents an insurmountable problem — a nineteen month old who sleeps in her parents’ room, still wakes up every   hour to nurse, and won’t eat solids; a two year old tyrant who runs his household and when he doesn’t get his way bangs his head; a fifteen-week-old  who is failing to put on weight like his twin brother and who doesn’t sleep more than fifteen minutes at a time. Each episode demonstrates not only Tracy’s incredible problem-solving skills, but also her compassion for children and parents.

In the episode I watched, Tracy managed to get a sleepless child to sleep — almost effortlessly — with a few commonsense techniques that we can all learn from. AWESOME!

There are tons of other great baby shows (and weight loss shows! squeeeee!) lined up for July on Discovery Health. You HAVE to CHECK IT! (See their website for current scheduling.)

Want more Cheaty? Check it — at The Cheaty Monkey!

Want gossip? Check it — at Cheaty’s Celebrity Gossip!

And, hey, thanks for stopping by! LOVE!

xo Haley-O