Spa La Gossip (*UPDATED* WITH DANNY VIDEO)

Hi Gorgeouses!

I’m going to a SPA this weekend…. WITH the fam…. Well, it’s not technically a spa. But, it’s a resort WITH A SPA. And, I will be swimming in my brand new (uggers) maternity bathing suit (have to FIND it first, though…) as MUCH has possible. Pray with me that the weather will be good! LOVE!

What’s that, you say? Enough about me? You want to hear about the REAL CELEBS. But…? Aiight, aiight!

Today, we got: skinny celebs here to stay; Angelina and Zahara go shopping (I just took the monkey to Toys R Us today, too, but no one cares…); BRITNEY TOPLESS HITTING BOTTOMER THAN ROCK BOTTOM; first glimpse of NICOLE’S pregnant-looking belly!; and MORE!

check it!!!

VICTORIA BECKHAM ACCUSED OF ENCOURAGING THE SKINNY

According to In Touch Magazine, people are saying that it’s Victoria Beckham’s fault that Eva Longoria — a self-proclaimed LOVER of food — is eating, like, NOTHING these days. Katie Holmes is also looking railish ever since she became friends with Vic. So, what’s Vic REALLY got to do with this? One expert says that it’s all about photo ops — apparently, no one wants to stand beside Vic unless they’re feeling anorexic….

I was hoping this SUPER SKINNY FEMALE CELEB thing was going to be over one of these day — especially when Nicole starts putting on the pounds (hopefully…). But, with Victoria Beckham in America now, it doesn’t look like that’ll be happening any time soon, seems like…. First she brought back THE BOB hairstyle, and now THE SUPER SKINNY’s here to stay…. Why is she THAT influential? She’s a freaking SPICE GIRL.

(Y&R . . . JOKE?: NICK AND SHARON DID NOT JUST GET LOCKED IN A ROOM TOGETHER? )

ANGELINA TAKES ZAHARA TOY SHOPPING IN CHICAGO

Angelina took 2-year-old Zahara to Timeless Toys in Chicago today. The whole fam is in Chicago while Ange films her new movie Wanted. Toodelooo whoopdeedoo.
Photos and scoop, with thanks, c/o Just Jared

(Y&R . . . JOKE, CON’T?: IT IS NOT GETTING THAT HOT IN THERE SO FAST! THEY ARE NOT TAKING THEIR CLOTHES OFF FROM BEING IN A SUPPOSEDLY HOT ROOM FOR 2 MINUTES! WHAT’S WITH THE SAXOPHONE IN THE BACKGROUND? THIS IS . . . TOO MUCH? I love Cane. And Nick. Hottness….)

BRITNEY HITS BOTTOMER THAN ROCK BOTTOM

(As usual, click the photos to enlarge — if you must!) Look at this guy. He’s feeling mighty good about himself all smiling ear to ear. Is Britney still considered a "conquest" among men? I think not…. But, this guy is SOOO pleased with himself…. It’s funny. Mind you, she IS half naked. And, even though it’s for the wrong reasons right now, she IS one of the most famous people in the world…. Now, does SHE look happy? Or, does she just look as blitzed as she is on Jack?

Here’s the scoop — quoted AT NECESSARY LENGTH from the steamiest report of the incident (because we like THE STEAMY), in The Sun Online:

…Onlookers watched in shock as Brit – who divorced KEVIN FEDERLINE days later – stripped at a hotel pool.

Brit swigged from a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and downed Mojito cocktails
before flashing her breasts and playing a game of truth or dare.

American Mike Encinias kept his trunks on as straggly-haired
Brit groped him. Mike was an extra on the video shoot and says she
later tried to seduce him in her hotel suite – while wearing nothing
but a pair of pink panties.

He said: "I went in and found Britney lying on the bed with
her knees up and just a pair of pink panties on. She was looking like
she was ready – and I wanted to finalise it."

Britney and Mike had been passionately kissing in the pool of
downtown LA’s Standard Hotel just a few hours earlier. The singer had
pulled the plug on the pole-dancing shoot for Give Me More after
breaking down and sending the crew home.

Mike explained: "Britney was drinking Mojitos and she’d been drinking
some Jack Daniel’s. Suddenly she shocked everyone by just stripping out
of her top. She went into the pool topless – her boobs were exposed and
she had a drink in her hand and a hat on with sunglasses."

Mike says he kissed Britney after her assistant told him the singer wanted to "make out" with him.

He said: "She straddled me and put her legs around me. Britney
had more drinks – she was having Jack and more Mojitos in between me
feeling her up, her boobs, and kissing her on her neck.

"Her body was very nice. It was sexual and sensual kissing. It
took some effort to perfect. She is a great kisser – I’d actually say a
phenomenal kisser."

Mike was invited back to Britney’s suite once the party was
over at 4am. He was planning to spend the rest of the night in her bed
— until one of his friends collapsed and nearly drowned from all the
booze he had downed.

Wooo! Is it hot in here? Well, actually, yes. Oh! One juicy tidbid that Encinias told US Magazine that wasn’t mentioned in The Sun article:   “I turned around and saw that she was topless and she had fake tattoos of flowers on her nipples from the shoot.” Is it okay if I laugh a little at this? Because I can’t feel sorry for her anymore. It’s just too much. And, she is having fun.

What I’m NOT laughing at is the fact that her kids were on the premises while her mom was drunk and horndoggin’…. They were supposed to be taken home at noon that day, but they weren’t. And, look what mom was doing while they were sleeping…. I’m not judging. I’m just saying. And, so is everyone else. Erm…, except Britney’s new biggest fan, loverboy Encinias. According to US Magazine, Ensinias insists that Britney "wants nothing more than to sell her house, move back to Louisiana and be a mom.”

KEVIN FEDERLINE SEEKS MORE CUSTODY OF JAYDEN AND SEAN

So much for their rumoured reconciliation…. Kevin is suing Britney for more custody of Jayden James and Sean Preston. He currently has 50/50 custody, but he wants primary custody. His reason for suing? Britney’s erratic behaviour. Is Kevin actually growing up? Someone here has to….

NICOLE LOOKS PREGNANT

How bizarre is that? Nicole with boobs and a belly! She looks great. Really great.

BUT, how BIG ARE THESE SHOOOOOES!!!???:

Those shoes DO NOT belong with those skinny jeans or leggings or whatever those are. Are SHOES the new SHADES? I mean, is everyone going to start wearing oversized shoes now?? At least the big shades have a protective purpose…. But, big…SHOES? If big shoes ARE the new trend, then my little monkey’s totally STYLIN’-and-PROFILIN’ at only 2 years old! — check it:

Photos of Nicole, with thanks, c/o X17.

WHAT HAPPENED TO…THE BRA?

Speaking of trends…. Never mind shoes and shades. How ’bout The Bra? Check Debra Messing and Kirsten Dunst lately? Tell me this IS NOT a sign that GOING BRALESS is IN now!? Because if that’s the case, I’m in BIG (I repeat, BIG) TROUBLE.

OH, AND LINDSAY LOHAN MIGHT BE PREGNANT

‘Nuff said about that. We’ll wait and see before we get too excited (for better or for worse). But, rumour has it that she’s in rehab HIDING because she’s preggers. Whatevs. Sickofit.

PICS FROM GWYNETH’S W PHOTOSHOOT

Weird.

Weird.

Weird.

Weird.

Weird.

Weird.

In this issue of W, Gwyneth reveals that she’s back on board in the MOVIE BIZ. She’s starring in a new movie soon, actually…. She says she put her career completely on hold for her children. And, she now feels she and they are ready for her to return to stardom. She also says that hubby Chris Martin really wants to adopt — Angelina-and-Brad-like. She’s cool wid it. She says, though, that she could still have more biological children. Now you have ALL THE SCOOP on Gwyneth, everything you ever needed to know and more…. Can I go to bed now, Gorgeouses? LOVE!

We’ll talk about this MOST EXCELLENT EPISODE of BIG BROTHER next post. If you haven’t seen it yet, SEE IT!? Or, get the full scoop on it online. Let’s chat about it in the comments, though, SHALL WE!? YESSS! I love EVEL, and I LOVE ERIC so I’m HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY. Amber needs help. That’s alls I’m saying for now.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE was not on tonight? FOOTBALL was on instead? PRIORITIES, PEOPLE! PRIORITIES. Oy. I was soooo looking forward to it. Weren’t you, Gorgeouses?

UPDATE!!!: I forgot to mention how freaking AWESOME SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE was on Wednesday. DANNY is my favourite all the way. I watched his solo OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. I couldn’t get enough. I also watched Lauren and Sabra’s solos again…. But, ahhhhh, DANNY! I can’t get the video of that solo yet. But, CHECK WHY HE’S HOT HERE!:

Now I’m hot…. He’s sooooooo AWESOME!

Gotta go to bed and rest up for SPAAAAAA!

Want more Cheaty? Check it — at The Cheaty Monkey"! I have NO idea what I’ll be writing there today. Let’s see what I come up with…….
Latah!

LOVE!
xo Haley-O!