Remember that movie Sliding Doors – where two different story lines happen – one if she makes the subway and one if she doesn’t? And by ‘she’ I mean Gwyneth before she had perfected the British accent – I can still hear her saying ‘not’ over and over again in my nightmares.
Well, this week I heard from my ex-fiance. I haven’t been in contact with him for probably seven years. It was a random message from someone else’s Facebook account – with his cell number and a quick message. It rattled me.
Will was in the splash pad with my friends hubby and I instantly went over and started smothering him with kisses and hugs. Then I got sad. Really sad. The rest of the night I felt anxious, nervous and a bit weepy. I couldn’t figure it out. I don’t miss my ex. He wasn’t a terrible person at all – just not the one for me. It wasn’t about wanting him back or questioning my decision to end it. But what the hell was it?
I woke up the next morning and I had it figured out. If I had married him, I would never have had Will. This pint-sized, brown-eyed, hilarious, love of my life wouldn’t be here. And it shook me.
We make decisions every day that change the course of our lives but rarely do we actually stop and think what could have been different if we chose the other route.
Think about it? Tell me – what decisions have you made that have changed the course of your life??
*I’ll give you another. I randomly let a guy from high school move in with me. I had a spare room, he needed a place. We decided to play ultimate frisbee to meet people. The two guys we played with led me to my now extended family of closest friends. If Sean hadn’t told me he needed a place…..**
Carol! I love that story – I often wondered how you guys met. So great. And Erin – I totally know what you mean. But now that I have him, I know what I’d be missing…
I loved that movie!! And yes, I get it… I nearly married Mr. Wrong once upon a time, and I seriously wonder what my life would have been like if I had. *shudders*
I’m so happy you have your Mr. Right, even if he’s only 3 years old… great post, lady!!
I loved the movie and the concept also.
The one thing I really wonder about is: What if I had taken the au pair job in Switzerland. Would I have met a husband and lived a glamorous life like my friend Diana does? I turned that job down on the advice of my aunt, and I’ve always wondered.
I understand where you’re coming from about Will. My step-dad always said that if my mom & dad hadn’t gotten together, Maddy & I wouldn’t have existed. I think many people feel that way after they have kids.
But, (and this is in no way a criticism) I think that we wouldn’t know the difference. You know. I love my girls to bits but if I had gone to Switzerland I may have met someone and had different kids and I wouldn’t know the difference. I’d love those kids just as much.
Do you think that’s negative? Or realistic? I’m not sure which it is but I’ve always kinda thought that. I guess I don’t believe in fate.
Loved the concept of sliding doors and why did it take so long for someone to make a movie of it. I often think of it and try to wake up every day thinking about what I can make happen based on this idea of paying attention and making choices.
If I had never divorced my life would never be the fantastic life it is. If I had never listened to my 4 year old I would not have my wonderful work.
It is all amazing- I get what you are saying, Sara about Will too. Very neat for you to pick up on this.
In my early 20s my friends and I went on a month long Contiki tour of Europe. We didn’t realize that the majority of our lodgings would consist of bunking in cabins on camp grounds. A few weeks into the tour we had enough of roughing it and complained to our tour guide. They offered to upgrade us, free of charge, to the hotel tour. I leaped at the opportunity but my friends declined the offer because we would miss touring the Greek islands. I can’t thank my friends enough because a week later I befriended an amazing Kiwi guy on the tour. We just celebrated 15 years of marriage and couldn’t be more in love.
A few days after my last final exam in university, my husband and I went into a pet store and I fell in love with a beautiful white-with-black-spots Great Dane. I wanted to spend some of our joint account. He said, “I’m not spending that kind of money on a DOG!” I said, “You JUST SPENT that kind of money on ANOTHER computer!” Which resulted in a week long argumuent/assessment-of-our-priorities, culminated in me standing in the front room with a bus ticket to my mother’s house, and resulted in the conception of our first child. Five years and one major career change later, I am so happy that I didn’t get the dog that day.
If I hadn’t forgotten my purse at church, I never would have met Shannon, who had it. And I never would have ended up becoming her friend and going away to her ex-boyfriend’s house for the weekend…and I never would have met Chris, who is now my husband. A series of chance encounters…by the way, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the idea of Sliding Doors. I think we’d end up right where we are supposed to be but it’s funny to think of how different the paths may have been, right?
you gave me goosebumps with that story! i’m always wondering about that….all the “what if’s”. i would have never met my hubby if he didn’t take an extra 3 years to get through college! would i be a single nerd still? would i be a married to another fella nerd? would i be a divorced nerd? at least i know i’d be a nerd…
Aren’t you SO glad it happened that way around?! I sometimes think about if I had made different choices. What if I had stuck with that loser boyfriend from High School? What if my husband had married his long time girlfriend? What if I hadn’t had that terrible job where I learned so much about how NOT to run a business? I guess maybe that other path would have had its rewards too but I am really, really glad I chose this one.
That kind of reflection is a great thing!