My home is being overtaken by mounds of laundry, the dirt on the floors has added an inch to everyone’s heights, and we’ve had a meal from the frozen food aisle six nights out of seven (and the seventh was leftovers, of said frozen meal). I am in the throes of studying for my real estate exam and it feels like I am sinking, fast, in regards to all of my other household responsibilities. It’s so hard to justify folding laundry for three hours when I need those precious three hours to review financial equations and memorize random facts about Mortgage Law, and so the studying goes strong while the house falls apart.
It’s times like these when I could really use the help of a housecleaner.
If I had someone coming in once a week to clean the floors and bathrooms and do a general tidy of the chaos, I think my stress level would go down 436%. Alas, it’s not in our budget right now and so I keep on treading water, telling myself that in three weeks’ time, after my exam is done (and I’ve passed with flying colours….go, positive thinking!) I will magically transform into a domestic goddess who lovingly prepares gourmet meals every evening, who takes pride in decorating her home on a frugal budget, who wears a smile all day long even when the kids are spazzing, who stays on top of the chores that make a house a home. Ha! Haaaaa. Hoo, it’s fun to dream.
I am just wondering how many of you regularly hire the help of a housecleaner. Do you think it’s a ridiculous indulgence for a woman who stays home with her children or are there times when it’s justifiable? If you do have a housecleaner, do you keep it quiet and let your friends assume you’re the reason the house is spotless or are you honest about the help you’re getting?
I need a house cleaner…desperately. I work from home, have a 4 and 6 year old AND a husband who leaves stuff wherever he happens to be when he decides to take it off. Mostly the reason I don’t have one (besides being able to justify the expense) is that I’m too afraid of having someone else see our filth. Right now? I called in with a sick kid to the office because my house was so out of control I couldn’t bear the thought of it and I’m finishing my 8th load of laundry and I have at least 5 more to go. I just couldn’t take it so I caved. Honestly, with missing a day or two of work to get it done, it would be cheaper to hire a cleaner. Sigh. I just keep thinking one day the laundry will stop piling up.
Are you kidding me!? You have three kids to clean up after? GO FOR IT? You have better things to do than scrub floors. And really, it’s nothing to be ashamed of!
I feel like I spend all my time at home picking up/cleaning up after the kids just to keep a path through the chaos, but I have no time to do a real clean. We hired someone recently and I am so thrilled! She comes every 2 weeks to wash the floors, vacuum and clean the bathrooms and kitchen. I feel like I can kind of keep my head above water now if I do small bits of cleaning in between. It is totally worth it, and not really that expensive actually. I find when the chaos builds my stress builds, so this really helps.
I have never had a house cleaner either. There were stages (say right after baby #3) when I could have used someone once a week to do the big stuff. There are times I’ve considered paying someone to watch my kids so that I can clean my mess in peace and quiet and get a “break” from being the mom.
I don’t have a house cleaner, and to be honest, I’m not sure I’d want one. I would LOVE a tidyer/organizer though! Those are the areas I have the most problem with. I actually like the cleaning part…washing floors and counters and making things sparkle 🙂 But show me a pile of laundry, and I all of the sudden “get tired” thinking about it lol
IN MY DREAMS! And no, I would never pretend I didn’t have a house cleaner. For one thing, if my house was suddenly clean all the time people would know! But also, what does it say about the house cleaners job? I wouldn’t want to belittle the person who (in my dreams) comes to my house once a week and works really hard to clean it. She is doing a job that not a lot of people would be willing to do and pretending she didn’t exsist seems disrespectful to me.
I would NEVER hide the fact that I had a cleaner hired to help… I don’t know where the guilt lies in this AT ALL! I wish I could afford one!!
We got a cleaning lady before we had kids when we were both working long hours and then foughtnabout housekeeping in our down time. When we had kids and I stayed home we kept our cleaning lady because there was no way I would ever get the house clean all at once. She comes every two weeks and is worth every penny and I will say so to anyone. I am not embarrassed to be home and still have help.
I don’t want to be too heavy on this stuff
BUT – isn’t hiding the existence of a cleaning lady contributing to the myth that we can do it all? Doesn’t that in the end set all women back and create a vicious cycle?
Don’t care what people think! Only you know anyway how hard you work and no one ever says WHOA! YOU are doing too much!
I do have a cleaning woman come in every other week and it is amazing. It has taken a huge load of stress off myself (and my husband). We have only been using her for about three months but prior to her arrival, we had not had our entire house clean at the same time (meaning everything was vacuumed, dusted, moped, scrubed) in over a year.
It is a luxury in my mind and I cringe a little every time I leave her payment on the kitchen counter. Then I come home that night to a clean house and I could care less about the money. (But it would most certainly be the first luxury to go if our financial situation changed.)
Having said all that, I tell no one that I have this woman. Literally two people in my life know and they are sworn to secrecy. If someone was to ask me how I did it all, I would tell but I don’t volunteer the information as I perceive it to be something that a lot of people who love to have but consider a waste of money.
I used to say the day the cleaning lady comes is the only day I feel someone is helping me.
I partly now justify it because I run my art school out of my home. But truly cleaning toilets and stripping beds is not my best use of time, nor will it take me to a higher place- so if I can give it away- I DO. I have a handy woman as well. I don’t live with a man anymore and I need a fixer. IT FEELS BRILLIANT.
NEVER COMPLAIN, NEVER EXPLAIN.
I say “Call in the troops” – every mother is a working mother.
I’m single and I live by myself, and I’m embarrassed to say that I’m thinking of getting a cleaner! I work long hours and I loathe the feeling at the weekend of having to spend hours catching up on house work that I haven’t had time to do during the week. Pathetic, isn’t it. It’s not like I have 3 kids, a husband, a large house AND a super important real estate exam coming up … now that is TOTAL justification for getting some assistance if budget allows! Good luck for all the studying and your exam! Liv.
We have a cleaning lady who is *wonderful*. She comes once a week, and I don’t hesitate to tell friends that we have help. There are quite a few things I’d cut out of the budget (cell phone, Netflix, cable etc!) before I’d agree to do it all myself again. (Truth be told, I just didn’t do it when it was up to me, so we’re all much better off with Kathy coming in for a couple of hours every week!)
If I could afford it, I definitely would, whether I stayed home or not. And then I’d keep it a secret so that people would think I was super cleeeean-freak-ish.
I had one when Ty was a baby and I just wanted to “sleep when the baby sleeps” and not clean when the baby slept. Then as Ty got older, I let her go. Now that baby #2 is on the way, I’m already considering hiring another one. If I had 3 kids like you, I would have hired a housekeeper yesterday… go for it!
When I was married and owned a home, I had a house cleaner and I loved it. Now that I’m divorced and in a much smaller space, I do my own cleaning. Do I miss the cleaner? EVERY DAMN WEEK! I say go for it without guilt.
My house is always on the verge of total chaos, and I beat it back every couple of weeks.
I wrestle with the idea of a housecleaner, not only because of budget, either. Partly because of what Dorothy said above – I’d be totally embarrassed about what that person would think of my awful housecleaning, and would feel pressure to clean up before she came which only makes it more stressful, because then there is a deadline!
The other thing is that I really have a problem for myself with having someone else not only in my space (which I hate), but also cleaning up my mess. I really was raised to clean up after myself and believe myself not too good for any of those tasks, so I think I would have a very tough time asking someone else to do those things if I don’t want to do them myself. It’s me being crazy, I know, but there it is.
I wish I could have someone come, even every other week. I’ve never had help… and I’d like to think I wouldn’t tidy up before the cleaner came over, but I’m pretty sure I would. Gah! Really, I just wish someone could come and vacuum, scrub the bathroom, and do the laundry. DREAMS!! (And it feels like everyone I know has a cleaner… I don’t think I’d be afraid to say so out loud.)
And no, I don’t think it’s a ridiculous indulgence. If you spend your time keeping house the way you want it to be, then it is at the expense of other things… I don’t spend all my time out at the parks with my kids – SOMEONE has to fold these clothes, yo!!
No, a house cleaner we do not have. Between work and some of the other things I volunteer for (seriously, a person who’s already busy should say “No” not “Oh I can do that…”) and children who seem to have hurricane abilities I say almost daily I’d love to have one. The idea that someone else could scrape the food off the floor under Audrey’s chair – she feeds the dog anything she doesn’t want to eat, the problem is, we don’t have a dog, is bliss.
The problem is I’m annoying about stuff like that. The idea of a stranger cleaning my house leaves me ill. I’d clean, deep clean before she/he arrived because I’d feel better. It’s stupid but I’m compulsive like that. It would thus create more work for me, making it a waste of money and me annoyed. So I settle for consoling myself with the fact that in about 10 years I’ll have groomed my children to help and slave labour will begin (if they want an allowance and clean underwear that is).
I want cleaning help desperately. It is my belief that nesting during pregnancy is a blessing because I’m not sure what state my house would be in if I hadn’t been a maniac in those final weeks. Seventeen months later, my house hasn’t had a solid deep cleaning and we too are treading water. If I could have someone come in twice monthly to really get the grime off the shower walls and food debris off my kitchen cupboards I’m sure we’d all be a little healthier.
Well you know I did, for 2 blissfull weeks and the $10 per hour was worth every penny but now I wish I never had because then I wouldn’t really know what I was missing now.
i would love to but i’m too embarassed for her to see that spot behind the toilet or under the couches..etc. My mother has a cleaning lady come in once a week and my mother cleans up before she comes lol
I would LOVE a house cleaner. Oh I would L O V E a house cleaner.
However, when I look at how much it costs and think about if my hubbie and I tag team and do a couple of jobs together we can stuff that chunk of money into our “going out” budget and enjoy an extra margarita. (in reality we just use it to buy more baby supplies, but whatever).
actually, yes! last week was the first time. the help is not for our own house, persay…. its for our bed and breakfast suite. i feel like i can barely keep on top of the regular housework at times, and adding in a tight turnaround for guests checking in/out ( current schedule is 8 days on, 6 days off…. 2 separate parties alternating)… i’m just having help bimonthly for now…. to see how it works… in the midst of summer, when the B&B gets busier, i might get help once/ week… especially once I have all the yard and garden work to maintain….. so, as a ‘stay at home mom’, i’m not proclaiming it, as i’m still cleaning the rest of the house myself… but i am verrrrry tempted to ask the cleaner to clean my upstairs, too… i think i might add one chore/ time for her to do in my mainhouse… like say windows, or baseboards or something like that….
We have a weekly housecleaning service and I’d rather give up my cell phone and tv and food for myself than let that part of the budget get cut. I was just so tired of spending half of my weekend cleaning the house. And with a mobile baby the floors HAD to be cleaned weekly. I don’t think it’s selfish for anyone (parent, non-parent, WOHP, SAHP) to have a housecleaner. And yes, everyone knows that we have the service because I’m always making comments about how awesome Tuesdays (cleaning day) are.
And, the bonus: my 4yo knows that she has to keep her toys picked up or the cleaning ladies will throw them away (they won’t, but that’s what I tell her). Plus, since I pay them to clean, not de-clutter/tidy we tend to keep the chaos under control during the days between cleaning…knowing that we’ll have to clean it up before they come anyway.