This story is entirely fictional. While the main character may bare some resemblance to, say, me, it certainly isn’t me in any way, shape or form.
Here we go…
Once upon a time, there was a man named Shane. Shane lived with his wife and his daughter, whom he affectionately referred to as Grape.
Shane, his wife and Grape lived in a two-story, semi-detached home, which they loved. This house featured an amazing playland, and other subtle features that made the house truly unique.
Unfortunately, there was another unique feature to this house – poor air quality. Every year, when the furnace would come on, the family would suffer terribly. Runny noses, prolonged bouts with a common cold, coughing and sneezing were all commonplace during the Winter months.
Recently, after Shane had turned on the home’s furnace for the first time, the dank, dense and thick air made him feel ill… literally. He would arrive home expecting to relax and unwind, only to feel dizzy, feverish and lethargic.
Shane knew then that something had to be done.
He started in the bowels of his home. He had his furnace serviced, his ducts cleaned, and still, nothing changed.
Shane began to worry that the poor air quality was no longer something that he could ignore. Indeed, the worry and fear of poor air quality began to grow and grow within his heart. He feared he was subjecting his wife and little Grape to extremely harmful toxins in the air and thanks to the internet, visions of mould and other harmful pathogens danced in his head.
Shane got in touch with an air quality specialist, who gave him some tips that would help eliminate potential mould or gas leaks as the source of the problem. Shane cut holes in Grape’s walls, checked the garage for leaking bottles, and checked the attic for unwanted spores.
Nothing was found.
The air quality specialist then suggested a next step. “You probably need a Heat Recovery Ventilator,” said the specialist. “That will help the air circulate in your home, and exchange the dank air with fresh air. They’ll usually run you about $3,000.”
Shane passed out instantly. While unconscious, Shane had visions of sugarplums dancing and Santa Claus laughing in his face while rolling around in an above ground pool full of money, which he refused to share with Shane.
When Shane woke up, he was racked with the guilt of even debating not spending the money to improve the health and well-being of his family.
To be continued…
DesiValentine, it’s never too early to start drinking. Heh.
Booooo. We just went through something similar – start of furnace season, start of cold season, start of weeks of blech. We had the furnace serviced, ducts cleaned, carpets cleaned, sent out the area rug to be sanitized and cleaned the drapes and blinds. After all of that? It turned out that the central vacuum exhaust wasn’t sealing properly, and thus venting all the dust I vacuumed up right back into the furnace. Cue non-child-appropriate rant. I’d rather not think about how much money we’ve put into our house so far. It’s too early to start drinking.
Oh dude, I feel you… er, SHANE, I mean… with houses, one might as well just dump cash straight into a money pit. It. Never. Ends. (Hang in there, Sugar!)